the risks that i take are all worth is even if it's for a loss

i broke my RECORD.

Sunday, June 25, 2006 10:56 AM

25th june '06 super happy. i finally broke my record for the longest chat time. hahah. 6 hours 35 mins. started at 1.18am we finished at around 6.55am. yawn. but hahah. i didnt sleep right after that. which was another record. one whole day of saturday without sleeping at all at night. i wonder how i'll feel on sunday morning. but yeaa. im still wide awake. if not i would not be typing here. whoops. could not sleep right after the chat. cos i guess it was morning. and my mum woke up to do sunday grocery shopping at the market. it was noisy at the corridor area even with the door closed. i tell you. the best thing to do when you want to do late night chatting. is to plan to have your door closed and lights off. plus. a way to plan to hog the phone without your mum knowing. wow. sunday is okay. i manage to drag myself off bed at 10.11am. the things we crapped at night are way off topic but then very weird and i learnt loads of new stuff. heng. my getting high at night wasnt very bad. some weird happenings at night. my aunty's clock rang at 4.55am. she turned it off but didnt wake up heng. and her bolster fell on the floor. drank water 3 times. visited the toilet 1 times. rolled on the bed many times. saw my sis woke up 2 times. checked my phone at night a few times. edwin and bernice was still awake.
opps. we spoke on the phone till it had no more battery. thank goodness it didnt shut off by itself.
24th june '06 woke up at 11.55am woww. i was pushed away from my bed. ate my lunch also known late brunch. sad. then practised guitar for half an hour. opps. went for lesson and aural test later on. met the rest for aikido training at 5pm for class at bukit timkah cc. class was nice. the sensei was especially funny and friendly. edwin was nice. he stopped by for a visit although he needed to do tutoring later on. the people were friendly too. nice atmosphere other than it being hot and stuffy. open air place. ahn wore on her first hakama. i didnt know she looked super great in it. ha. daniel. i did practice with you. see im nice. we finished at 6.35pm. joked a while at the cc. watched middleaged women do dancing in the open hall. seng lien. dont worry. i'll go with you for dance lessons when we're around their age. wow. their butt can really shake. okay. off topic. while chatting together. found out. daniel and i both have the same guitar teacher. crazy world out there. wow. fine la. i hardly practised guitar so thats why only grade three. rushed off for gathering at my aunty's place. quite boring. cos my younger cousins werent there. so cant play with them. but i had the good company of ringo who looked at me while i was eating dinner. wanted to keep him for 1 month like last year. but this year is way too packed. i cant manage. mum said i had an afinity with dogs. i wonder. should i become a vet or someone who studys animal next time. hey clement. get well soon well kae. i'll be waiting to see you walk soon without those crutches. yupp. rest well and that pic i drew for you on the cast. dont erase kae.

lastweekend to school.

Friday, June 23, 2006 6:47 PM

my official mouring that the last weekend of holidays are gone. and school is just like another breeze away. monday. the very day i hate. because school starts then. im just three days away from waking up in the wee hours of the morning at 5am. to get my butt out of bed for school. lets sleep more on sunday and saturday. i heard july is a busy month for those preparing for the official exam like me. true enough. i have 4 exams in july. first up is the chinese o levels orals on the 29th june. 2nd july is my bluegold aikido grading. if im not wrong. its the 17th july for listening chinese then 19th july for my grade two guitar exam. im busted. great. and prelims i still cant escape from.
worse off. i didnt even get to celebrate my friday. its chemistry lesson i school. followed by training at night. i heard they are celebrating edwin's and kui yang's birthday today. more cake smashing. this is going to be fun. but im still sick. so i cant savour the cake. dammit.
whats wrong with sean paul's temperature. i thought it was nice. my sis says it stinks. hahah. no choice had to change song.
i was good yesterday. other than watching spore idol results show. i watched judging amy with my dad. oh ya. garfield two aint nice. do not attempt to watch it. its super lousy. later mathed till 1am. then i slept. sorry doc. i slept one hour earlier when you smsed me. and edwin. i woke up one hour later when you beeped my phone. whoops. not good.
super scary yesterday. went friendster. added this guy called slyvester then i deleted him. found out his a idiot freak. he only wants to make friends with convent girls who open up their legs to sit. eww. i was grossed out by his pic enough. not to mention his profile.

hahahh. i'll blog later. got to rush for aikido now. im late.

still sick with coughs.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006 2:24 PM

20th june '06 had no choice. its school again. triple science lessons right from the start of morning. was raining when i stepped out of the house. took my jacket and went to school with sj and yong ern. saw the rest at the foyer area waiting. LEMON was it was super obvious cans. seven steps behind me. i get it. i turned and saw her. great. all i can say i dont have that feeling anymore. im scared/ kept flu-ing throughout biology with packets of tissue displayed in front of me. carried on with physics. but i slept. mrs tan just crapped and its not related to he subject so why not doze. chemistry. yeo gave us time to munch. saw pooh bear waiting at the bench with some friends. did experiment again. nose blocked so i cant smell its chlorine. dammit. after lesson. lunched at long john with my click and my pts. okay. its fried food. so i stucked with the chicken wrap. then i dont feel so guilty hehe;)) took stupid pics. there. homed. watched wimbledon with da jie. slept till evening again. night. watched csi and criminal minds with mom. maths till one. then i slept again.
21th june '06 woke at 11.11am. tired still. i got up at 6.55am to pee. drank too much water at night. kept coughing. im still having that sexy voice. rahhhh. cant go out. but tonight having aikido practice should i go. meeting up at 6pm. i have a few more hours to get well. im like drinking all the water in the house. but still not getting well. going to maths again later. da jie eating fries and fried stuff. hate it. and im stucked with porridge. duhh. she's so nice as to tempt me. bored. so i watched RING TWO. not scary. just one more week till school reopens. hate it. i havent enjoyed enough. listening to drops of jupiter and dancing in the moonlight.
checking friendster. dorcas went offline. too much time to kill. im bored.

no voice.voiceless.

Monday, June 19, 2006 9:23 PM

18th june 'o6 hopeless. rahh. i fell sick today. had flu and running nose. followed by a sore throat. till now. i have no voice. even if i did. its all too sexy. mum blamed me saying that it was because i played bball late at night on friday. sheesh. went for church in the morning. supposed to join my class at the choir stand but i didnt. coughed throughout the mass. everyone stared at me. i coughed so badly that i cried tears out. so embarrassed. i saw him. he went for the choir thingy. surprised. he wore long sleeves and a overall. didnt look like him. dont get me wrong. i dont like him at all./ lunched at east coast area. before heading down to east coast park for family outing. met the rest of the relatives. benny and chris were so cute. they rode bicycles while me charmaine sharon and julian(my cousin) went rollerblading. man i missed that. i banged into a cyclist about my age. all because of julian. i was waiting for him to join us on the roadside. so i turned around. then didnt see him approaching. next minute. bang. i held on to the handle to balance myself. and so our eyes met. but hey. no spark. and also he's not my kind. so stupid cans. i went back and my cousins all laughed at me. they saw everything. saw a dog shit wet poo. and a woman throwing up at the side. eww.
went fast speed. my sisters were tired after an hour so we linked hands. and i pulled them along. julian had poor luck. kept falling. but hey its his first time on blades. mine was a few years back.
approached by a guy with free drinks. me and my sis accepted it. my mom made a joke. and asked me to go back and ask the guy for a few more. duhh. youre kidding. dinnered at some hong kong cafe. dammit. i hate being sick. saw my sisters drink cold sweet drinks while i stucked at plain water. it sucks. slept ealry. mom told me too. had english prelims oral teh next day. sorry edwin. cldnt keep you entertained with the sms. i'll stay up late one day to sms you again. that is jif the phone didnt get confiscated again. bleahh.
19th june '06 three words. happy 16th bithday audrey;) and lots of small words. sweet sixteen! davinci code or silent hill audrey koh so wants to watch you. NC 16 feels great. im looking forward to my M18 soon. hey enjoy today. i would have went out today. if i hadnt been sick. man i hate it. i see you have loads of presents. more will come hahh. had english prelims oral. first intention when i woke up. i didnt want to go school. just see doctor and get MC. excused. no. i had to be stupid and go./ coughed real badly. and sush laughed at my voice. ohh so sexy. she said it was nice. my voice. she's weird. when it was my turn to face my oral teacher mrs lee. i told her beforehand i was sick. she said yeaa. she could understand from my hoarse voice. i coughed so much when i got to the second last paragraph of the reading. till i was asked to drink water. oh no. reading part is going to be marked down. the rest were okay. she seemed interested thats good. went home after that.
ate porridge. cant eat anything else. remember im sick. sheesh. watched tv. hip hop top 10 countdown on mtvasia. and my own (hilary duff and ashlee special) slept again. woke up. watched lord of the rings part two. ate dinner porridge AGAIN. blogging.
tmr still have school/ triple science. im not sure if i should like pooh bear anymore.

a long blog.

Saturday, June 17, 2006 10:35 AM

15th june '06. went shopping with mum and sisters at bugis street and chinatown area. was a last minute decision. so opps. i skipped yeo's lesson. sorry. and i heard pooh bear went that day. sad. but i had fun shopping. walked till all our legs sore. mac's also no space to sit dammit. i bought a chain necklace. two ring ear rings @ 5.90 each. i love! three 3/4 cargo pants. oh ya. chinatown. people's park they develop to a more teen focused shopping area. went there. still so so. met dad in the evening. dropped us a ride. thanks. if not my legs would have broken down. watched spore idol results show. hady and joquim won. changed channel. watched lethal weapon 2. slept after doing some maths. half way through except add maths. i dont wanna touch. ;)) HAPPY BIRTHDAY YILIN.
HAPPY BITHDAY JEANETTE.
HAPPY BITHDAY EDWIN.
16th june '06. had yeo's chemistry lesson in the afternoon. went to school.
quoted from himself 'we will go through organic chemistry that is if school starts' for a minute the class stunned. then we started laughing. yeo blushed really badly. all red. yupp. he cut his hair. like hilter's hair style. and he wears a polo tee. errr. yeo. no way. later. snacked a while at kfc. bought sweettalk's ice blended champange grape. and shared large popcorn chicken with sj and dreyy. sinie bought lunch. i stole her cheese fries. wait. she offered me. ahhahh. so i just ate and ate. not my fault. they were all staring at me in amazement. the cheese. hmm/ afternoon. i made a joke with sharon. like what is FBI really mean. (cant say online) DRAL. and more. hahah.
me: hey sharon. i ask you ah. what are bulls?
sharon: er bulls. i thought they are the male gender of the cows.
me: so youre saying that bulls are the males. and cows are the females?
sharon: should be mahh!
me: you very the sure?
sharon: 50-50 chance
me: wah lou. so that means. bulls are 50% male of cows and the other 50% you dont know what bulls are.
sharon: i think they are some kind of mammal.
me: oh. so you now think they are really some mammal.
sharon: no no no! as in 90-10.
me: what the heck is that.
sharon: as in i think 90 is that bulls are male of cows than 10% i not sure.
me: i see. then. i ask you again. what are buffaloes.
sharon: ...
sharon: huhh. i really dont know le.
me: hahah. so how. now what are buffaloes if bulls are the males of cows.
sharon: i dont know. ermmm. dont ask me le!!! im so blur now.
me: (burst out laughing)
sharon: so what is the answer?
me: (went out of the room to tell the others)
END
went for aikido.
brought my grading book. and $40.
i was asked to play bball with the rest but mom didnt allow.
cos' the last. i slept till the afternoon the next day.
i mean i love sleeping/
training was fun. ahn came back. i missed her. going grading with her and derek.
we had different 'teachers' today. sensei took us differently.
kui yang dyed his hair brownish blonde. err.
brushed up my second and third lock.
edwin looks stupid trying to chase a kid to wear on his belt. it was super loud.
played bball after lesson.
the net was opened. i tried to shoot in some. none.
they smashed one window.
we played three verses four. unfair. and we were all so short compared to the guys./
we played dirty. tugged at them.
heyy. it was pure revenge for poking at the ball while seng lien was aiming for a shot.
so mean. they dont want to give us the ball. so we tickled them to get it.
hahah. played for 20 minutes.
i got whacked in the head by edwin. light slap by kuiyang. and loads of slapping by ahn.
super fun. went home late.
kena tekaned at night went i reached home. bathed at 12am.
slept at 1.45am.
my phone got confiscated so that i cant call out for a chat.
so sharon stayed up with me.
to chat.

im confused now.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 11:28 PM

supposed to go out tommorrow. have a date with my sisters to town. not sure. i dont feel like going for yeo yeo's lesson. can help me take notes. heehe;) i mean its two hours. why cant he just put his lesson early in the morning then i can go later meet up with my sisters. duhh. sorry brother. cldnt make it for your birthday. anyway. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDWIN. enjoy your tommorrow with that special person. aikido. bring grading book and fee. for blue gold belt. big day on 2nd july. im scared. guitar. i havent practiced dont kill me opps. 24th june. i cant go for guitar dies. have to skip one lesson of aural with the gay teacher. have director's award presentation. hmm. why me of all peoples.

farewell to great friends.

10:56 PM

tuesday 13th june they left singapore in tears. i did a pinkie with my friend to not cry at the scene. we held back our tears through the celebrating cake of cake for maam shanna and eizais birthday. the poem was great. tooked last pictures. tried to steal orchids at airport. failed. they were all inside the baggage check with policemen guarding dammit. we shooked and hugged our last at the departure gate. most of us cried except me and others. 'someone' didnt want to leave 'someone else'. he even wiped her tears off and waved goodbye after he went in. he even sang a song through the phone for her after they tel from inside. i bet he'll be back again. so fairytale story. 'she' visited brunei two years ago. 'he' saw 'her'. cldnt forget 'her'. stayed in touch through emails. waited for 2 years. 'he' came over just to see 'her'. after four days. 'he' left 'her' but 'his' heart will always be with 'her'. i fell in love with the story first hand. but so fairytale lahh.
had fun last night 12th june. campfire was fun. with the bruneians giving 3 performances. it was cute. we shouted and laughed. eiza gave me a handmade bracelet. went back to hotel later on. slept at 3am. 'nazmi' came over to spend his last moments with azlin. left at only 4am. whoaa. he is gentlemanly.

tired. came back home. lunched. slept till 7pm. did maths book. slept at 12am. woke at 12.30pm.

i still miss them.

9:37 PM

since they said a picture speaks a thousand words. i'll let them do the talking.

day three of the trip.

Monday, June 12, 2006 10:57 AM

i sacrificed my whole sunday for them. saturday.so yes. i had to go for the saturday evening mass with my family. then we movied at west mall x men three. the last stand. okay okay. dinner was at 9.2opm at koufu footcourt with fish slice porridge. i mean there wasnt much choices left. sunday. woke up at 5.45am travelled to orchard with my haversack. bunking in at the RELC hotel. i have no idea. supposedly a students boarding school. but its only 3* . i felt bad. when we were in brunei. we stayed at a 5* hotel and ate at a 7* star hotel. the organisation is screwed up. no tv. shared bathroom. and only two beds in a dorm. what the. we also wanted to stay for the night. so we booked a hotel. guess what floor. 13. i was super freaked out when i found out. and i realised our floor is the coldest floor with a toddler's playpen and a couch with an old painting hung above in the lobby of the floor. so ghost alike cans. wanted to visit the bruneians room at 12.20am with rini. ha. we left the room went to press for the lift. and ding dong. the door slide open. we were super scared. when we saw the no. on top read 13. ran all the way back to the room. haha;) i feel so stupid. the toilet was no joke. i had to talk to myself if not its super quiet inside. edwin called at around 2am chat till 3am. i ate breakfast at 3.20am super hungry. macs cheeseburger. programme. early morning. went bukit timah hill for briefing. i saw kelly low. at ulp. juanita went up the hill le. sightseeing around city. esplanade. chinatown. kampong glam. little india. afternoon lunched nasi briyani. went east coast to see the sandcastle building for world blood donor day. sentosa.

i am super tired now. i went home in the morining. i had 'school' rested now blogging. in a while loadind pics. then im off for campsite campfire. staying one more night at RELC. bye.

they are coming tonight.

Friday, June 09, 2006 5:24 PM

yayy. the bruneians are coming tonight at 9.25pm. sad. i cant pick them up have aikido class and basketball prac with edwin. so yeaa. they are staying for only 5 days here but it will only amount to two days spent with with. the rest of us are spending two nights with them one night at the RELC hotel and the other at campsite. and worse. i have to wear a skirt on the campfire. hmm. more like a malay kebaya. i feel real bad. they gave us so many gifts. but because of budget restrains. we cant. so yesterday we tried to make cookies. really we tried. went to library to borrow books on cookies. double trouble choco chips. then shopped at ntuc. found our saviour. choco chip mix. ready made. so we gave up and bought it instead. baked at jannah's house. burnt and charchoaled cookies. okay. we didnt see it happen. but we kept eating our cooking. till we have none left to pack. maam shanna called. change of pla. we buying something for them. last minute. as we speak. im late for my bball prac. edwin dont kill me. i get to see them on sunday and monday. not sure if mum allows me to camp out. i'll be carrying my lugguage to bukit timah hill to little india and parkway mall. im not packing a lot of stuffs. i get to see my juniors at ulp. cool. hey guys. do well in ulp. i'll be there to cheer you on. if i see you. dont give up so easily. very easy to pass the tests. jiayou.
bye. i have to run late for practice. dies.

a day to slack. NOT.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006 1:49 PM

hahah. and i thought today could be the very day i could laze around and slack. i just remembered. i had a meeting in the night at 7.30pm headquarters.till i have no idea. sadded. and tonight have spore idol gals. i wanna watch it. and now i cant. i guess dinner is out at plaza also. im spoilt. macs. bk. or kfc. great. my bruneian friends are coming over on the 10th. wow. thats early. and also not to mention the reunion of the delegates. hmm.
yayy. edwin's having bball practice with me at cdans before aikido class starts. it was just since last week that i last touched the ball when we played after class at 10.45pm in the open court with derek.seng kwan. and his sister.ahn.edwin.kuiyang and me. four on three. super fun. but i was out of breath. i cant wait for this friday's class.
i miss my ahn. have fun back home. must think of me kkae. and my bogay. dont worry i'll miss you while youre there. have fun there too.

MSN games are addictive.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006 12:46 PM

Slept at 2am woke up at 7.30am. so i had 5hours of sleep and im super cranky now. wheres my coffee or milo. hahah;) so stupid. went school for 1hour the day before and today for one and half hour. just for a meeting. but it ended up in a whole lot of gossips. so much for browsing through lime and playing with each others phones. juniors i wish you good luck in handling the unit. bye bye. we're out. last night played with elder sis on msn games. parents were out for dinner at ritz unfair. MCF: Prime Suspects. its super addictive. and yes. although time limit was short we kinda played till 2am. left only 5 more suspects out of 20. dammit. i wanna finish it. today trying the Dinner Dash Two. should be nice. i didnt mug at all during this june holidays. i just have no movivation or mood to do so. ha. pooh bear didnt go school today i guess. but i saw taz. breakfast at macs. we and sj shared a hotcakes meal. super nice. i think i have a craving for honey. i just recalled. todays 6/06/06. and i still want to watch The Omen./ and heard Silent Hill is nice and scary. i cant stand my elder sis and mum. both of them said that Shutter is the worse made ghost movie. to them it wasnt even hair raising or scary. what the. i freaked out at the first part of the show and off the movie till a few days later i dragged my elder sis to watch it with me in the Morning.

an hour of egeog lesson.

Monday, June 05, 2006 4:12 PM

i dont believe it. i dragged myslef out of bed just to go for one hour of egeog class. hmmf. why cant they just slot it another day instead. only half the class appeared but we still had class with low. her collar button down was nice .ralph lauren. except for the fact that her third button came undone. class was okay. i dropped by the toilet to watch my juniors practice for talentime. dance was okay. cant wait to see the finale. macs later at tiong with dorcas.sharon.me.kel. kellylow treat haha;)) three large fries i was stuffed and cldnt eat lunch later on. saw sj.drey.sinie there too. oh ya. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY AMANDA NG. sorry. late one.
haiz. tmr still have meeting when i cld sleep a lil later at home. sadded. but then pooh bear will be in school the next day. so its okay. HA.

my tears overflow with GRACE.

Sunday, June 04, 2006 3:16 PM

Saturday 3rd June 06 . woke up late. went for guitar class and had aural lessons till 3.45. the aural teacher really looked like a zebra with the striped shirt. the lessons were surprisingly easy. must remember all the weird phrases for fast slow loud soft duhh. and more tapping. lunch at 4 with long john. dad came home. waited mum and sis to reach home from their shopping spree to go mass.
went for a spiritual inner healing at church of the holy spirit. lasted for four hours till 11.45. so i dinnered only at 12.30am super late. super hungry then. mass was really spiritual and enriching. i broke into tears on the opening song ( something to do with the holy spirit.) i cried during my prayers. i cried after the healing. every single time i cried. everyone stared. my two other sisters didnt feel anything after the healing but all my relatives got slain by the spirit. sometimes i dont get why. im so emotional with feelings. and it was super scary. we saw a young woman possesed by 2 demons and after she received Father's blessing. she cried out. screamed 'Father. forgive me. i have sinned.' she kept screaming those lines. it was hysterical. after mass. when Father went to personally bless her. she drew away. she stumbled all over the floor. and kept screaming. till we got chased out of the church cos they were performing an exorcism right there. okay. it was eventful. reached home at 1.30am. called honeyy at 1.45am chat till 4am when i dozed off. too tired from all that crying. sorry. but i miss chatting with you. ps: we havent finished our listing yet. i love my honeyy.<<3

chinese o's orals.

Thursday, June 01, 2006 4:20 PM

i screwed up the conversation part and the reading section. i freaked out when i found out it was that
big ___ woman as invigilator. oh no. i was practically shaking throughout the talking. i cant stand her. just the fact that we're her students doesnt mean she can pick on us. fine la. i was stupid enough to believe in her that my chinese would improve under her. ya right. it only made it worst. she made my hopes dashed.
that i cant forgive. i cant stand lessons when she towers all over you when ure doing work. cos it looks like its spilling. geesh. thank goodness its not counted for o's if not i can fail le. but i improved. last year. i had to ask the teacher to repeat the question in english cos i could not understand the chinese. pooh's bears slot was super early in the morning and also the first few. so i only got to see her then. later she left the room but came back later when i finally got to leave to be tested. hmm.
mathed for 2hours where nearly fell asleep. zzzz. fung is so nice to give so much work. thanks. homed with sinie. the rest went for lunch at tiong. the way home super funny. a chi ko pek was looking at me and sinie. so i gave him the stare. cos i just cant stand people looking at me ever since the bball prac when a guy stared at me while i was playing. edwin knew it so me and him left the court area. that disgusting look of pervertingness. so then after giving him the menacing look. he suddenly snorted. (like a pig's grunt) super loud canns. me and sinie started laughing with many people looking at him. ha. serve him right.