the risks that i take are all worth is even if it's for a loss

Saturday, April 28, 2007 9:31 AM

27th april 2007
fourteen day

finally! the long awaited weekend that i have been waiting for. haha;D finally, the break that i long for. my brain needs a rest from all the hard work and long hours of studying at college this week. haha;D though a short weekend only. haha im spoilt for choices. should i spend my weekends studying or mugging if you prefer, watching television and slacking at home or play my guitar?

school's getting tougher as the week passes by. tests all upcoming soon as each chapter is finished. the teachers all run through every single chapter really quickly and i have yet to get used to the whole accent thing. it's hard. not easy.

i had chemistry in the morning. the lecturer totally wasted like an hour of our time telling us why we should study chemistry and the benefits of studying it. then when he realised he had wasted his time over such matters, he rushed through the whole chapter on atomic structure and electronic configuration. i guess i have to work on my own and self study if i want to understand all the stuff he just talked about today. chemistry finished. boy am i hungry from all the shivering in the cold even in class. i hate those vents on top of the classroom, on the celing. they blow cold air from the outsides to the insides of the class. dammit. i am freezing already. haha;D in all classes i have to sit crosslegged. though it aint lady-like but who cares when my feet is shivering out in the cold air.

break now. i have like a two hour break before i start on lunch at 12.35pm./ guess where i went? not the student services centre.( i wont have to go in there unless i have an issue to discuss.) haha;D i went to the library. surprising huh. amanda in the library. its just not me yeah;D haha but hey i didnt go there for studying at all. okay wait, that was only my second priority. haha;D the first priority was to hide away from the cold winds that blew past in the morning. its so cold even at 11am in the mornings. so yeah, without any place other to go i went to the library. and yes. i did study. i did my econs homework, my maths (read up on the chapter the lecturer was going to discuss in class later on), and marked my chemistry text answers from a solution book that i borrowed off the shelf. i have to get used to the whole self studying process. there aint any more spoonfeeding here in college.

lunch/ i went lunch with vanessa, a girl who is one year my senior, from korea but she's been residing in australia for 5 years already. hmm. though we're not in the same classes at all. i met her on the first day at college when we got a mixed up in our maths class schedule. really nice girl. haha;D we have the same free periods on fridays.

met lean ping later on at lunch too, a malaysian girl one year my senior also. see! theres no one who is my age.
ahhh. im the youngest in my college. haha;D

went shopping today after school at carousel shopping mall./ school ended by three today one of the many days i look forward to since its a friday too. see! i love fridays. because the next day is the WEEKEND. haha;D
i tried all the department stores but i still cant find any nice pullovers that are thick like the grey one i have. all of the jackets they have sold are all thin material but if i use that, i'll just freeze to death. haha;D so instead i bought two thermal wear long sleeves. haha;D

crap i have homework piling up on my desk. all the revision and work due for next week. all the tests i have to study soon. i guess my initiation plan of slacking at home wouldnt work because of all the assignments due. so its studying and mugging for saturday.

Thursday, April 26, 2007 9:21 PM

26th april 2006
day thirtheen.

i had a great rest the day before. had a long one day holiday but that pretty much worked for me. straightened out my thoughts, got ready for school the next day and looking forward to the weekend soon;D the stupid alarm clock on my phone rang too earlier today. okay waitk, its all set the same time but i just wanted to laze in bed. sad, i had to drag myself out of there because unlike back home i dont have mum chasing us out of bed already. school was fun today because i only had three lessons or classes, accounts, econs and english. but the only setback was that it was super cold today out there. 17 degrees out in the open. i froze and shivered the whole day. my nike jacket aint thick enough, but i had no choice, its my secong best choice because my pullover is in the wash. bad luck. i shivered the whole way to school. and my muscles hurt from the cold biting the surface of your skin and your hands and feet get all clammy and cold frozen till you dont even feel anything even it you slammed your books on them. its that bad. accounts class was great, had one in the morning and one in the afternoon. haha! accounts is fun to do. we continued to do balance sheets for businesses. really, kinda love it. and econs was interesting also. learnt on factors of production and opportunity costs made from choices. english was okay. i think. the lecturer as usual went on really fast through all the articles today and he issued work to us to be due on next monday. a whole written feature and three articles to be read up and to be antonnate.
schools looking much better today and maybe the next few weeks. though i havent made many friends as yet. i have a lunch buddy already but sadly she only goes for the same econs and accounts classes. its hard to make friends in campus. everyone has different subject combinations so we're always split up into different classes. so you see them once and sthe next you dont. well, i hope soon in a matter of weeks, i'll make more.

classes finished at 5.15pm. whoah i had a bad neck stiff from the long hours of studying. school ends at 5 every day except for tuesday and fridays. the library is going to be my favourite place other than home soon as im going to spend most of my free lessons there studying i think or i hope. HAHA;D

went online at night. parents had a conversation with me last night through the microphone and i webcam some people too. cool;D i so love broadband, the fast downloading speed and the access speed when you change websites. wow.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007 8:46 PM

let me be the one telling you its all alright
sharing the smiles and tears you cry
let me be the one loving you when youre weak
for all of the strength you need
you can come to me...

will you be that one for me?

8:34 PM

25th april 2007
Day twelve.

Got a free holiday today. I appreciate it since I wasn’t feeling in the mood to attend school the next day because of the cold I had and I needed a break from school. I cant cope with all that’s happening around me. the cultural shock, language shock, the studies and school system, basically everything to even the shock of being so far away from home. Dad said to give myself at least 2 months to adjust to life there but im afraid I wont even make 2 months. Its hard. The work pressure is setting in, work set by the teachers, researches to be done and handed up, the expectations of myself keeps going up. I cant take the pressure soon enough. I’ll just suffer from a mental breakdown. If I can make it through 2 months, it’ll be a miracle I thank the Lord for.

Started the morning with chemistry reading. The textbook is twice thicker than your normal O Level chemistry book. Cramped my head with stuff I don’t even know about. My head hurts. 4 whole hours of chemistry. Didn’t have the appetite for lunch either. Started work again after lunch, English (I have an essay to that’s due the next day) its an essay i have to write about the author's view on some valentine's day massacre. spent a good three hours on my paper.

Mum called at half past 2 to check up on me. I cant help it but every time she calls in, I just start tearing hoping very much it wont turn into sobs, because whenever she hears me cry, she tells me to go online instead. So I try to hold them in and just let them out later after she puts down the phone. Every time she calls in, you just want to tell her how you feel but it just turns all into crying because that’s basically how I feel. There’s too much to describe how I feel about everything around. Crying represents everything.

anyway, enough of all that. im going to try to be strong within. this two months ahead may be stormy and the grey skies may hinder me but hey, it's not going to stop me at all. i aimed to pass my TEE exams and i will accomplish that even if i fall a thousand times. im already halfway through my journey. i cant give up on myself now because if i do, i wont have anyone but myself to blame in the future. so cheer up will you?

8:33 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA!

Don't worry about that extra line That's creeping up upon your face It's just a part of nature's way to say you've grown a little more Trees have rings and thicker branches Kids shoes get a little tighter Every year we're getting closer to who we're gonna be It's time to celebrate the story of how you've come to be Happy Birthday, my friend Here's to all the years we've shared together All the fun we've had You're such a blessing Such a joy in my life May the good Lord bless you And may all your dreams come true So light a candle on your cake For every smile you've helped create For every heart and every soul you've helped to grow A little more A few more pounds, a little more grey Don't count the years, just count the way It takes a little time to go from water into wine Don't ever lose the wonder of that child within your eyes Happy Birthday, my friend Here's to all the years we've shared together All the fun we've had You're such a blessing Such a joy in my life May the good Lord bless you And may all your dreams come true
lyrics- The Birthday Song, Corrine May
Hey girl! Have a great birthday, and God Bless!
Lots of Love,
Edlyn

8:24 PM

24th april 2007
Day eleven.

The rains accompanied me today. Crying in the rains is a good idea because no one else sees the marks of your tears on your face since they are all washed away in the rains. The second day at college life and I still haven’t gotten the hang of it. I dread school now so much so the English classes. Though its comforting to know that the guy sitting beside me for English class also has problems grasping the lecturer’s fast-paced speech and completion of assignments. Though he’s an Australian and about 20’s in his age, he also struggled. I so cannot understand that lecturer’s speech. He speaks like there’s no tomorrow and all his words shoot out like bullets. And the assignments he hands out are stupid, all due by the next day and im not kidding their all essays to write on. Crazy. satire speech is a humorous way of mocking people. Sarcasm criticizes and demoralises something to a low point. Wow. I tell you. English thought in Singapore is so different from here. Here its all independent study on a text, you infer, write down the techniques the author uses to put forth his point. Note! All passages are biased. English is something I will never get for now. Oh well, I’ll just struggle in it. dad said to give myself some more time to learn the English culture here about 2 months, well I hope things turn out better.
economics was okay. We did on the term scarcity, opportunity cost and the need to make choices and decisions and economic efficiency for now. So far, I got the hang of it. I nearly slept in class, the cold winds from the rain blew in and all conditions were favourable for sleeping in, like the weather, the table and chair.
accounts was fun. Accounting is much more important than the 10 commandments because it has 11 rules while the latter has 10. haha;D in accounting, you only trust your mum and the one above, always be wary of what is said by your lecturers, newspapers and media. We finally did a balance sheet for all accounts and I learnt what are assets, liabilities and equity. Bank loans and overdraft, stocks on hand, trade creditors and debtors, net profit… I like the maths involved.

It rained so hard after classes and all I had was a raincoat to shield myself from the pouring rains. I forgot to shield myself from the cold. My task was accomplished in getting myself to the school’s opposite bus stop without getting too wet although my shoes were all soaked from the large puddles of water at the students’ car park. Here comes the climax. I stood under the shelter of the bus stop shielding myself from the rains as I kept away my rain cover. Not a wise decision. ZOOM. a car just sped past very closely to the pavement and yeah you get where all the water from the puddles went. I was one of the wetter victims then because I stood at the edge of the shelter. There were about 6 people all huddled under one shelter that can only fit three people in it. my pants soaked in everything and at that point of time. I got hit a second time even after I moved in from the edge (remember its very crowded under one small shelter) and that time, me and another lady got splashed in the face. This time though we didn’t really soak all the water because there was a guy in front of us blocking us and ha yeah you got it right, he took in all the soaking. I can’t describe to you how cold I was. Shivering in the cold winds and the pouring rains, I was nearly cold to bones. Teeth chattering as my hands froze cold hard stiff. My feet and thighs were all wet and numb from the cold. I couldn’t move my limbs at all. I cant explain how happy I was and overjoyed when the bus arrived. That’s part one of what I was afraid of. Part two was walking home in the rain. I just figured walking really fast when you’re feeling really cold to the bones helps to speed up your metabolic and thus you wont feel cold anymore even though you’re legs may hurt and start to strain up from walking too fast but hey, it gets you home faster and also you wont freeze out in the cold that way.

I don’t wish to know what day it is today. For me, it’s just another day in the school calendar. Nothing special about it and there’s nothing to celebrate since I don’t have anyone to do it with me and celebrating alone only makes me yearn for company of friends and family. So I’ll rather not think about it. thanks though for all your birthday wishes. My seventeen birthday this year doesn’t even feel like a birthday to start off with, other than the rains to accompany my tears on this day. there wasn’t anyone else. I’ll rather not turn seventeen at all even if it means not growing up. I’ll rather stay at sixteen where all my past birthdays were celebrated at home. Why does my sixteen birthday feel so great and my seventeen sucks like crap?

thanks randy!

Hapi Bdae 2 U
U R Born In E Wild
Wif Pandas N Bamboos
Hapi Xiao Xiong Mao
Dun Cry PanDa!!!!!
LoL
B Strong!!!!
YeaZ!!!!
E Xiao Xiong Mao I Nue
Wudnt Evn Shed A Tear Evn If U Point A Gun At Her
Let Alone Onions
HAHAZ!!!
I Cn Fight Once More
Shw Ya Socialble Self
If U Feel Like Cryin
YEA!!
Tel U Wat
Go 2 A Quiet Spot
SCREAM ya Fustrations
Shout As Loud As U Cn
Xiao Xiong Mao Tels Herself
I WILL NVR CRY AGAIN!!!!
UNLESS RANDY MAKES MI CRY
Hahax
I Wil Get A Punchin Bag
N If I Goin 2 Cry
I Punch It Til I Feel HAPPPPIIIII
(shud Hv Given U A Smal 1 B4 U Left)
HAHAZ
It Wud B A Victorty Once Againz

A Brand New Age
Super 17
Buy 4D
Happy Panda
Happi College
Happie Australia
Happiex Bdae

MAJULAH SINGAPURA
Mari kita rakyat Singapura
Sama-sama menuju bahagia
Cita-cita kita yang mulia
Berjaya Singapura
Marilah kita bersatu
Dengan semangat yang baru
Semua kita berseru
Majulah Singapura
Majulah Singapura

Xiao Xiong Mao
0 Kangaroo Road
Blk 0 0 7
Aus 1234
24th April 2 0 0 7
SamuraiKid
The Istana
Beside Plaza Singapura
#i Dun- Nue
Sing QA72
RE : Big Fat Pork Bellied Dragon
Dear Xiao Xiong Mao,
( My Earlier Contents )
Yours Happily,
The Pussydent Of The Republic Of Singapore

We, the animals of Singapore,
pledge ourselves as one united pandas,
regardless of species, language or habitat,
to build a chaotic society
based on injustice and corruption
so as to achieve depression, downfall and
unstability for our nation

hahaz
Like My Letter?
Yea!!!!
U Like It
smirks

Monday, April 23, 2007 11:07 PM

23rd april 2007

Day ten.

Maybe not everything new is good. Not even attending school. Though I set off for school with an open mind, I only came back with an even more confused mind I am tired. Really. I know I promised not to tear or cry out again but I couldn’t manage all the built in stress. I thought school would change everything. But it didn’t, instead, it only added unto my workload of worries and confusion that im going through now. Sometimes I wonder to myself, why did I choose college for studies instead of a high school? I know I wanted badly to escape the whole uniform thing they wore. Surprisingly, while you guys back home complain on how long your skirts areand always try to get away with the discipline of altering your skirts. Over here, their school skirts are super skimpy and short even up till the thighs and they don’t get caught for it. Haha;D first day at school didn’t go so well for me. Neither am I looking forward to the next day at school. First day at college and I’ve already got English homework (like reading two texts in inferring the authors claim to the topic and views he tries to portray), write an open paragraph on one text (what’s an open paragraph?) and a questionnaire. Had all my subjects in one day today. Economics was really boring because all we did was to watch a video on microeconomics and yes the teacher is super tall haha;D. Accounting looks fun though. Maths was crazy, the lecturer practically rushed through everything. Chemistry was dead because they had so many students to one class that some arrangements had to be made which lost time there and so we were let off late. In all, college life ain’t easy like you said. It really is’nt the whole play play thing. I bet even junior colleges in Singapore would be so much more easy than college here. The lecturers here are only to FACILITATE and not TEACH. So all your work is done through self motivation and self study. Im not ready for that though. I guess I can pretty much say I have been used to being spoon-fed like all other Singaporeans. The lecturers back home gives us notes to refer to, there are tutorial classes to question your doubt and ccas to work off some steam. But over here, there’s no tutorial class. All questions or doubts, that you have to approach the teachers in your free time not even during your lectures in classes. Oh great. Its not going to be easy to open that mouth of mine to ask questions. It’s going to take some time and time is something that I don’t have considering that I only have two terms of work and exams for my final TEE exams in November. This sucks. How I wish I attended high school instead, at least the teachers there wont treat you like adults. Here, its all independent learning. Something im not capable of.

I know I promised myself and you guys back home that I wont shed another tear again but I couldn’t control today’s one. They all just kept flowing out non-stop after I finished classes at school while I was waiting for the bus. I merely thought of how my day had been and all and they all just came out flowing by the sides, a little at a time. I cant say how embarrassed I was to be tearing in public but I couldn’t control it any further. I restrained those tears at lunch already. It was stress, confusion and just pure worrying that got over me. I miss having lunches and breaks with friends to chat with, laugh with or to follow to the toilets with. Here, everything is on my now. No one is accountable for you. I miss taking forty winks in classes and lectures but here I cant, the speed at which the lecturers go at is way too fast even if you went toilet for those few minutes, valuable information would have been said and you wont have any piece of it. Well great, its late and I’ve yet to complete my work assignments. I will bog sometime again when im free. This is considered a long post already.

I didn’t even remember tomorrow was it. I don’t think I even want to know that it is/ being a year older doesn’t mean to bring in anything good. Not for my seventeen year after how everything turned out to be. Just an hour more and somehow the excitement just is’nt there at all. Happy birthday though.

Sunday, April 22, 2007 4:40 PM

22nd april 2007

Day nine.

Sometimes God’s presence in my life is very real. At other times, like the disciples, I do not recognise Jesus in my life at all. Lord, help me find you when I feel distant from you.

Church service at Saint John and Paul Church was great. I went for the 1030am mass. Though the church compound was a little small but the warmth of the community really something I cant describe. The sense of comfort and assurance in the Lord’s presence was so immense and not to mention, the interiors of the church was really neat. Though I’ll rather prefer Saint Mary’s crucifix of our Lord (the one that hands on strings away from the cross with arms outstretched all the way and his facial emotions carved out on his face says it all), the one at Saint John and Paul church was the usual one that hanged on the wooden cross. The homily was really inspiring.

A few days after the Lord’s resurrection from the dead, He appeared to His disciples time to time again.

Peter and a few of the other disciples went out on morning to the seas for a catch. Most of the Lord’s disciples were all fishermen who caught fishes before the Lord asked them to follow Him to catch men instead. The disciples stayed out the whole morning but they still didn’t catch anything. And then, in the distance, they caught sight of a boat floating towards them. On the boat was a man. Seeing that their nets were empty without a single catch, He instructed them to lower their nets and cast them into the seas again. With this, they did what the man told them and from the waters, they heaved up a large catch of fishes 153 in total. (that was the number of types of fishes known that time. Therefore, having caught 153 fishes in total was the Lord’s way of showing us that it was complete cycle of Jesus coming down to live among us, suffer on the cross for our sake, died and risen from the dead.) Though it was a huge catch, the net did not break under the immense weight of the catch. (this showed the mission of the church, and that is to draw fishes of people towards the catholic faith and that no amount of parishioners was going to break the nets of the church.) When the disciples saw the miracle before their eyes, Peter immediately wrapped his cloak around him and leaped into the waters for he knew that man was the Lord he loved so much.

Back at the shore, the Lord had in preparation a bonfire and some fishes cooking over the flame. ‘Get some of your catch here and we’ll cook them over this fire.’ Then, the Lord approached Peter who was soaking wet from his swim back to the shore.
Peter, son of John, do you love me?
Oh lord, you know I love you.
Tend my lambs.
And with this, the Lord asked a second time.
Peter, son of John, do you love me?
Tend my sheep.
Lord Jesus, you know I love you so.
The Lord then asked the third time and this made Peter very upset.
My lord, you know everything and all that is. You know that I love you greatly.
Feed my sheep.

The reason why the Lord asked Peter, the disciple that He placed in charge of the foundation of the church was because the Lord wanted to confirm Peter’s strong love for Christ. The bonfire serves as a memory to all of us. The same bonfire where the fishes were cooking on was the same one where Peter stood near to warm himself in the cold weather when the Lord was sent away from the courtyard to be scourged and questioned by the authorities. It was at that same bonfire where Peter denied the Lord three times. And those three times, the Lord asked Peter back ‘do you love me?’ so as to reconfirm Peter’s undying love for Christ. The reason to why Peter was upset when the Lord asked the third time on whether he loved Christ was because Peter knew clearly his mistake the last when he denied the Lord three times before the cock crowed. Peter regretted having not acknowledged the Lord then. But the Lord was always there to forgive us when we made mistakes in life. Because of His great mercy and love for all of us, He chose to suffer on earth for us on the cross when he could have easily chose to stay up in heaven with the Father. But he didn’t.

In one of his appearances to His disciples, He foretold about Peter’s death and his great love for Christ and the works that Peter did for the Lord that cost him his life.

‘When you were younger, you would tie a belt around your waist and you walk anywhere you like.’ ‘But, when you’re older, you would raise up your hands and someone would tie a belt around your waist. You would be pulled along by that belt.’

This was a forecast of how Peter would die. Peter died on the cross, with arms outstretched on the wooden cross where he was tied. However, he felt unworthy to die in the same position that Lord died, facing upwards. Thus, he chose to be crucified upside down on the cross, his head closest to the ground.

After the resurrection of the Lord, word got around that Jesus had risen from the dead. Because of all the rumours spreading about in town, the Pharisees and high priests were all afraid that they would be blamed for taking an innocent man’s life and no one wanted to take that blame so they decided to put a lid on such rumours and to silence anyone who spoke loudly in the squares of the proclamation of the Lord’s resurrection from the dead. However, the disciples didn’t care. They continued to spread the word of the Lord in various cities even when their lives were at stake. Because of their great love for the Lord, they didn’t mind whatever was befallen on them even if it meant death. They continued to preach openly in the squares that was when Peter and other disciples were brought in front of the authorities and had the death sentence.

Oh great. I have officially counted the time I have to wake up everyday. Crap, it’s the same as in Singapore, just that its half hour later. Got to get up at six every morning cause I have yet to make my own breakfast and pack lunch for school. im starting school tomorrow, though the excitement hasn’t settled in yet. im sure it will the next day.

A new life, a new tomorrow, a new me.

Saturday, April 21, 2007 8:31 PM

21st april 2007
Day eight.

A brand new day and a whole new week to look forward to. I arrived last Saturday on the 14th of April and it’s almost been a week since my arrival here. I survived one week here. Woohoo! Anyway, the past one week has been difficult for me. missing you guys back home in Singapore and all. But hey, im looking on the brighter side. Its still another 208 days more till I return. School’s starting on the 23rd of april. That’s on Monday and I have a holiday on the 25th of april, they call it anzec day. Don’t ask, I have no idea either whats to that occasion. Woke up really late today at 8.40am cause I slept late the night before. Thanks skittles for keeping me company. Surprisingly, it didn’t cost a single cent for those hours we clocked. The amount still stands at ten dollars. After breakfast was done, I went back to my room and played on the guitar. Not long after, I got called out to the dining area. There on the table was a huge cake with the words ‘happy birthday’ written in chocolate fudge on it. there was also strawberries and plums at the sides with whipped cream as toppings. Feeling totally lost, I wondered to myself on whose birthday they were celebrating then. Mine hasn’t arrived yet. then, grandma took out a candle and placed it on the cake and lit it up. It was then that I realised that the cake was for me as everyone was giving me the attention. I made a wish and blew out the candle after the family sang a birthday song for me. Thanks guys. You made me feel so at home and even went all the way out to get me a cake to celebrate my birthday. I couldn’t ask for more. Thanks! At one, we went out as a family to Westfield carousel shopping mall to do grocery shopping. Bought my lunch for the week to come, pretty much all the sandwich stuff like shredded ham slices, tomatoes and lettuce. I’ve got to start learning to get up early for school and make my own breakfast and lunch to put them inside my lunchbox. The food at the school’s cafeteria is a little on the steep side so I’ll rather make from home. While waiting for Jason and uncle Richard to finish their shopping, I went out on my own and bought a pullover jumper for school. That’s for the cold mornings when I go to school. Its all so soft and woollen inside and its grey in colour HA. Monday lectures all start and I have a full course of all the subjects I take on that day, from accounts, English, maths, economics to chemistry. A full work load for Mondays and only an hours break for lunch. Tuesday and Fridays are my breather days all finishing early by 3pm. But Thursday is crazy. im only done by 5pm and when I catch the bus back home, the sky is dark already. I have got to remind myself to bring the torchlight on that day even though the pathway I walk are all on the highways and lighted up areas. The school hours aint very different from singapore’s one though I start school at only 8.30am for some days and 8.45am on others. But hey, I haven’t counted in the hours I take on bus rides to school daily.

three more days to it.

Friday, April 20, 2007 9:39 PM

20th april 2007
Day seven.

I shall try to stop the entire negative aura in my following posts. Somehow, things seem to be looking on a much brighter sight this fine morning. Once again, I woke up feeling cold from the morning breeze of autumn here in Perth. Its only autumn and im already wearing on my second overalls. This winter’s going to be harsh. Anyway, mum called this morning and she finally managed to convince aunty Irene into letting me venture out on my own, to be independent. Thanks mum! I salute you! I cant imagine having an adult accompany me to college school with her daughter who has yet to finish her project and wait up for me till my orientation ends. At least after mum spoke to her, she waived that idea. thank god. she treats me as though im still too young to make my own judgements and decisions. That I don’t blame her since all her kids haven’t reach teen hood yet. im not her kid. So don’t judge for me whats right or wrong because im old enough to do that on my own. I cant thank my parents enough for helping me talk her round into giving me my own free space. Thanks. im sixteen going on seventeen in just a matter of days please, if you’ll rather, its only 4 more days to it. somehow I want to look forward to it but its not the same excitement that you get since your family and friends aren’t there physically to spend it with you. HA im going to get a small slice of cake on my own and celebrate it on my own and maybe go online on that day to see if my parents are using skype. Happy birthday Amanda! A few days back, I’ve already composed my very own birthday song to sing to myself.

Today’s a brand new day, a new start, a new beginning. im hoping that things might change for the better these next few days. The excitement of school starting on the 23rd is keeping me on my feet. Finally, school, the homework, the friends, the new adventure would all keep me away from my room. At least, the tears would stop flowing for once and for all. I ain’t crying anymore. those days and times are over. With school to keep me preoccupied all day, I wont have to think and miss home that much. Things are certainly going to look much better and im going to spend the next few days smiling and laughing like what im always used to do. Those difficult roads that I just treaded on are long over and im starting on a new path of road, one that is all neatly carved out for me to walk upon.

I cant say how much I treasure my freedom. with no stings attached and no one to keep a close eye on my every move, im finally free on my own. Independence was something I longed for since I landed here in Perth and I got it just today. Today’s trip out to school all on my own was surprisingly fun. HA. I left the house early to walk my own road without anyone treading behind me. since I was early for the bus, I went to the mall to grab a bite and yes, get an alarm clock with batteries. HA as instructed by mum cause she knows me all too well that my phone alarm aint good enough. Haha;D caught the bus at the appointed time and took the bus ride. I thank my mp3 for accompanying me on the long journey to school.

Orientation here at school was okay. Though there was only a couple of students say about 15 who went for the orientation for april start but we still carried on with the programme. HA im not the youngest there and not the only Chinese. There was another boy though he only looked a mere 14 years old. curious young chap, he kept asking questions and the funniest thing was that he kept scrunching up his front as though his knickers got stucked in between his legs. okay, wait im not even supposed to see that. my bad. It was really weird for me. all the pupils studying for the april start who came today were all either working already or studying at a university however, they couldn’t get into their courses unless they finished year 12. therefore, canning college was an alternative for them to finish up year 12 studies. in short, im the second youngest there and still I must say, the shortest in the group. Though we haven’t met the international students yet, im just hoping to find someone my age at least. Haha;D canning college is a quiet place for an education. Anyway, they showed us around the college and facilities and I got to know my classroom blocks. I also got my timetable on hand already. all my classes end by 5.15pm for the latest on a Thursday and the earliest is 3.00pm for Tuesday and Fridays. Surprisingly, they don’t have tutorial lessons because everything is a lecture where the teacher just comes in for the lecture in your base classrooms. It’s the same as your lecture-tutorial system just that there is no tutorials but the moving from one class to another applies. Therefore all questions have better be asked in class during lectures or if not after school at the library they have tutors for every subject on duty so you can approach them for help at studies.

I thank the LORD for being there for me this week. It was a difficult one week for me but HE never did abandoned me. HE was there with me through all my struggles that I endured, all the tears that flowed down from my cheeks and burned on my face, HE wiped them away with his palms. When I wanted to sleep to forget all the painful memories and moments, HE was there cradling me to sleep in his outstretched arms. For those times when I had no one to talk bout how I felt or no one to complain how hurt inside I was, HE heard them all. Praise the LORD for all you have done.

thanks Xavier for talking to me online through the microphone last night. I cant say how happy I was to hear your voice. Its been so long since I last heard from you. Wait, that was only 1 week;D haha. once a fellow stoner, always a fellow stoner. youre that little piece of stone or rock where the lighthouse sits upon, whose light shines upon those pieces of stone lost on the coastal areas. Many thanks! You made me laugh a great deal last evening;D

hey Justin, take it easy mud buddie. im going through a difficult phrase in my life too and im glad that the ordeal is almost over, all thanks to the support from family members, friends and most importantly the LORD. HE is always there for you to lean upon, to turn to for help and for peace within. and why not, im still there for you always, once a mud buddie, always a mud buddie;D I’ll walk with you this journey if you need a friend to accompany you on this road. no fear, you have the strength to overcome all ordeals set it front of you. Thanks for the necklace, the chocolates, the bracelet and the little prince book (done reading it). love them all;D

thanks skittles for your daily emails. I have never diligently checked my emails till you started emailing me everyday and checking my emails is something I look forward to everyday when I go into the internet. thanks for all your support when I felt like giving up sometimes, your emails kept me from going insane and you never fail to make me smile. Cheers;D

hey randy, thanks for sending me all those lollipop pictures and sketches. Haha but I want the real one from you, even if it means getting pinched in the cheeks again just to get one lollipop from you. the wen hou ge song was really childish and cute and when I look back to your video at kbox. Its all filled with laughter and great memories. HA we have yet to continue on our bedtime story of the ponytailed princess, short pork-bellied dragon and the prince who fell in love with pork knuckles at the kopitiam. im looking forward to their duel in the next episode.

Thursday, April 19, 2007 10:08 PM

19th april 2007

Day six.

I gripped the phone even more tightly as she said those last words over the phone. Tears rolled down from the corners of my eyes again as I used my 4th tissue to wipe away those tears. ‘I got to put the phone down soon; I have to cook dinner by now. So we’ll talk again tomorrow? Bye, my love. I love you.’ At this point of time, my tears rolled down even more uncontrollably. I waited for her to put down the phone because I didn’t want to waste any moment in hearing her voice even if it means her breathing. There was a long pause and a beep sound after she put down the phone. ‘no more. She placed the phone down already, i told myself repeatedly’ I didn’t want to believe that. I held unto the phone in my ear as I listened in to the long beep over the phone. After 3 minutes of endless chiding myself that mum was long gone, I put the phone down and sprawled on my bed beside my guitar that was laid beside me. As I though back on our conversation, tears came rolling down my eyes again and then I just lost it. I broke into a silent cry as I tried to hug myself to sleep to stop the tears from flowing. I stared up the low ceiling as the tears continued to roll down the sides and unto my pillow. I finally understood the term ‘heart wrenching moment’ because I had several of those moments before, it is in these moments that you just wish you could stop breathing and just lie on your back, staring at the same low ceiling and wishing that all this pain would just go away the next moment you open up your eyes. Sometimes I wonder, if I were to cry all my tears out at one time, would I still have enough to cry later on? If not, I’ll rather cry it all out at once. im tired of crying almost everyday and not having anyone to dry those tears of mine or to chide me to sleep. im not that strong I know. in between all sobs, I cried out to HIM for his help to help me overcome this battle alone. it wasn’t easy a task and ive already walked half my journey alone but im not sure I’ll be able to manage the rest of the remaining journey . im too weary and tired out. I have no more strength left to walk this journey alone. I just cant. Not anymore. I have given up. If it means spending all my Sunday at church in HIS presence, talking to him alone, that I don’t mind. At least it gets me away from my pain and loneliness of my room. After crying out for almost half an hour after mum put down her phone, I eased myself to close my eyes. And that’s when I felt someone touch my legs. It was a warm feeling, just like what mum would use to do to wake me up from sleep. I opened my eyes, hoping it was her but there was no one there. My wishful thinking or maybe it was something else.

Went out for dinner late after I took a long hot bathe in the toilet to wash all the marks of my tears on my face. Ate dinner without much of an appetite. These few days, I lost all my appetite, maybe im not used to eating so early for lunch and dinner. and the feeling of ingestion always gets me after a meal. I have been in too much pressure. But whats it to my stomach when my heart hurts even more? I cant be bothered.

Though I don’t wish to think of it that my parents had abandoned me here in perth all alone for this time being, but it just eats me inside when my uncle keeps talking to me about it. Last night, he came up to me and told me that was free to use anything from the internet to the television and the kitchen. He also said that he didn’t understand my mum’s decision in sending me here all alone. he wondered why she didn’t send my elder sister to accompany me on this trip even though school term for her starts only in july. I explained to him, that she didn’t want to arrive so early only to slack at home and she didn’t like the idea of working then. He also said that’s he didn’t feel the need for us to study in Australia when Singapore was good enough. I’ll like to think of it as mum’s helping us with our future. But sometimes I cant help thinking why now of all times, when I just started a whole new lease of life at jcs and all mixed schools at that;D haha kidding and when I just started doing well in sports, canoeing which earned me a place in the competition team and when I had new friends.

My head hurts now. My eyes all small and dry from all the tears let out just. As I type all these out unto a word document, I count the hours till I can use the internet again. to hear my friends online, to read my emails and to get away from my room. I need a break.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 9:15 PM

18th april 2007

Woke up in the middle of the night to a pitch-black room. Didn’t feel too good in the head and there was a huge pain at the side of my neck. I think I overstrained it the day before, my bad. After I rubbed on some cream, I slept again only to awake at 8.30am. pretty late though cause everyone was up already. Grandma gave me some painkillers for my headache. Crying too much is a bad idea. after breakfast, I washed my clothes and hanged them out to dry. whoah, the chill of the morning air can really freeze you to death. Brrr… mornings are always a time to slack and just laze around. Like what my fellow stoner would say, just stone. I wish I could hone my skill as a perfect stoner one day. Anyway, after lunch was done- noodles, we went out to the bank again. this is like my 6th trip to the bank. Oh, I bought a global call card. So that means I can call back home and you guys don’t have to pay a cent at all. Haha;D I cant say how much I miss the voices of those I love most. I’m going crazy thinking bout you guys everyday. I still cant believe I lost my smile and laughter in just 5 days here in Perth. I desperately need someone to step into my life now and teach me how to do that again. school starts in just 4 more days. By then, I hope to have new friends and school stuff to busy myself with so I wont be so caught up with thinking bout home. Having too much free time on my hands only adds on to my loneliness within. When I look back, it’s kinda stupid that im here all alone without any family member beside there to support me but hey, I managed 5 days already without any contact except through phone calls. I shall be strong and hold it in a little further till school starts.

Learnt some new stuff from the young ones.

Like for once, Jason keeps saying this phrase ‘you better!’ and he gives this little nod after saying it. So if its used in a sentence or a reply, like when im told to finish or complete some task, he goes ‘you better!’ I cant say much though but it gets irritating after sometime. But for now, haha;D im ignoring all his words. Giving him no attention at all when he talks seems like a fun thing to do. Im just following what the others are doing. He just talks too much, maybe even more than me. I don’t talk that much do I? Haha kidding.

Second thing. Jason has this thing bout sexy people. His usual phrase goes like this: ‘sex is not good enough. Sexy is better. Sex is only 1 syllabus, however sexy is 2 syllabus.’ Funny guy;D

Jason ain’t clean at all. He says he’s saving his lips for me, and he gives me this heart signature everytime. (skittles don’t get jealous yeah) HA. Charmaine, when you do come over in july, he might fall in love with you just like he did to Sharon the last she came with us in march. Hey Sharon, no worries, Jason hasn’t forgotten you. He still thinks you’re sexy at times. So save your lips for him yeah? Cheers;D

9:11 PM

17th april 2007

Today I practiced taking the buses again. lucky thing I didn’t get lost but I did get mixed up with buses 74 and 72. Went to carousel shopping centre today to get more stuff again. I cant say how sick I am of that place because I went there like several times already. Mum hasn’t called yet. Came back at 4.30pm when the sun was setting. Today’s degree was 21, but I was cold to the bones already. I’m so not used to cold weather. Another day passed off just like that. Somehow, I feel like I’m just wasting my youth away. The day ends so early and the night starts way too early. Staying at home for more than three quarters a day is boring me out unlike in Singapore, we spend like three quarters of our day at school. I cant stand being so free. Where’s all the workload?

Last night’s call to remember:

Crying was the natural thing to do then. It just couldn’t take it in anymore. The voices I yearned to hear so much came through over the phone last night. I thought I could hold it in but I just couldn’t. three days since my arrival in Perth, and I didn’t shed a tear. I wanted to but they just wont come out so for these three days, I’ve been holding them in. I wanted to be brave and all. But braveness wasn’t something I had in control of because all my cramped up, hidden feelings of emptiness got the better judgement of me last night. Though it was only a short conversation with mum and dad, I started to tear at the very moment I heard my mum’s voice. . That voice, the childishness and youthfulness of mum in it, the warmth of her voice and everything from her love to her care. All of these were clearly heard over the phone other than the occasional interference of reception. Mum asked how I was doing there in Perth and what I did for that day. I couldn’t answer her at all because I was crying so hard. In between all the sobs, her questions kept flowing but I didn’t answer any of them. I was too caught up crying my heart out. Three days without tears and holding it all back in was the reason to why the tears never did stop. Mum couldn’t take it, for she too was going to start crying. She passed the phone to dad. Dad’s reassuring voice and calmness also added to the tears flowing down. I miss cuddling next to him after dinner in front of the television. Now, I don’t have anything to cuddle except myself for the next two and half months. (my head hurts a lot) the phone was passed on to my sisters later on. Haha;D the laughter of theirs still sounded the same over the phone. That laughter I have yearning to hear in my hearts so long even though a pathetic four days passed only. the consoling efforts of my sisters didn’t help much for I was in my own world. Just crying everything out. It’ll feel so much better after days of holding them back in. in a pitch dark room void of laughter from my own and noise, I held tightly unto the phone, wishing with all my might that if I close I eyes it’ll be opened to have my family members all gathered around me. I’ll be back in my old room that faces the poolside. The noise of the waters from the pool area and from our waterfall feature outside at the deck area would resound in my ears once again. The constant laughter of charmaine and mum’s shuffling of her feet as she passes the room to check up on Sharon. ( at this point, Sharon usually falls asleep on her bed) and mum always calls her up to finish packing for school. How I miss that. Things are so different here. The sound of my guitar cant even make up for the noise that I hear back home. Its just too quiet here. The quietness can kill. Just four days and I’m going crazy of the quietness. How do I survive two and a half months? I forgot how to laugh or smile already. (five tissues used up just writing this entry and I’m not done yet) I’m hoping school starts soon. So I can chuck my head into books and worrying about my studies would keep me busy enough so I wont have to think about home. I cant help but spend every moment of my free time missing you guys at home. At least crying helps to pass time. But I’m not hoping it becomes my hobby. I don’t have much tears to spare. Crying to the Lord at night helps to coax me into sleeping. He understands all and knows everything that I hide away from others.

I know I have to be thankful that I have relatives here in Perth. Yes, I am thankful but they aren’t the same as the ones back home. Though I have already spent four days with them, I still cant help feeling distance between us. No matter how comfortable they make me feel at home, I don’t think I’ll ever replace the home I have back there. I cant help but consider my every move or action that I do. Firstly, I guess the mentality that this still ain’t a home yet, its just merely a house for me to stay in, still cant go away yet. Secondly, maybe because I’m still new, that’s why I feel so small. Everyone keeps telling me what to do. Even the little ones do that also. I don’t blame them either. It’s the same treatment they give their parents too. Its really tiring to be always wary of your actions at every moment, because anyone might be watching you. Especially Jason, who spies on me every minute and reports whatever I did wrong to the elders. I don’t blame him. Kids do that all the time. But aunty Irene, that’s another case. We just cant click. I guess rushing everything to be completed before I start school seems to be part of her uptight nature these four days. She keeps rushing me to get stuff that I don’t really need. Like soap and shampoo, tissue box or packet tissues. If she were my mum, she’ll gladly give you all these without asking for anything back. That’s the difference in our mums. That’s what im missing most bout my mum (ahh, im breaking into tears again) Maybe when I start school and everything has settled down, I’ll try to understand her more. But for now, im keeping my distance. If I do this crying marathon everyday, I wont have much tears to last me anymore.

Anyway, like I promised skittles, here’s your song:

I can’t sleep, I just can’t breathe
When your shadow is all over me baby
Don’t wanna be a fool in your eyes
Cause what we had was built on lies
And when our love seems to fade away
Listen to me hear what I say
I don’t wanna feel
The way that I do
I just wanna be
Right here with you
I don’t wanna see
See us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you

What would it take for you to see
To make you understand that I’ll always believe
You and I can make it through
And I still know I can’t get over you
And when our love seems to fade away
Listen to me hear what I say

I don’t wanna feel
The way that I do
I just wanna be
Right here with you
I don’t wanna see
See us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you

Monday, April 16, 2007 8:19 PM

16th april 2007

Day three.

Woke up early at 6.45am, though I’ve already set my alarm to wake me up at seven. Dammit! I saw my watch that shows 6.55am and thought that Perth was an hour later, 7.55am. haha;D I actually jumped out of bed thinking that I was late. But when I went to check the time. I was early. HA. Went out for grocery shopping and to the bank with Aunty Irene today. I finally got my first ATM card! YES. Haha chill… c’mon I’m smart enough then that. Besides, the withdrawal limit ain’t something neat to rejoice about. Bought all my necessities. It was a full day out there. Came home tired and worn out. Did my homework and accounts on today’s spending. I can’t believe I’ve got to do this every single time I spend money. I’ll rather not spend then. Just too lazy. Back to my room at night after dinner, writing this entry down. Dinner was okay. I was taught to wash the dishes properly and all but I won’t be doing them once school starts. I’ve got to concentrate on my school work. I’m feeling the emptiness of being alone in this room and this house starting to kick in. Like in today’s trip to the bank, I couldn’t do my sister’s card (this made me miss her loads) and when I bought extras for my thermal wear for her use. Two months is a long time to wait for her company. I’m not sure I can manage those two months. I really don’t mind sharing the bed with another person or my drawers with someone else. I just need company. It gets really lonely here when there’s no one to talk on the same level as you do. ( eyes welling up with dried up tears, throat feeling tight). And yes, I don’t coop up in the room, I do go out for drinks of water and meals and to watch my cousins play PS2. other than that, the room is my sanctuary of peace, somewhere I can hide everything I fear in. (looks at the statue of the crucifix of the LORD) I know you’re there for me always.

8:18 PM

15th april 2007

Day two.

I woke up early without being called up. Haha. I miss mums calling me up several times and the shuffling of her slippers in the house when she walks past the room. Nothing to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Just lazing around. I didn’t go for mass at the nearest church. Next Sunday I guess;D I spent the whole morning watching my cousins play their PS2 Spiderman again. Read Justin’s book on the Little Prince. I’m almost halfway through. Took an afternoon nap. My head didn’t quite agree with me then. When I woke up, I was late for dinner. Grandma kept some food for me. And yes, it’s only 5.50pm when I woke. Ate dinner, slacked a lot. I’m really bored with life. The guitar helped a lot to kill the boredom and relieve my ears from the silence of the room. It’s really scary. Slept early once again. There’s nothing to do at night.

8:17 PM

14th april 2007

Day one. touched down at airport

I came out of the customs check early. Thank goodness I didn’t have to declare anything. HA. Thanks guys for the sweets though I was half afraid that I had to declare them. Do I look really small? One officer asked me how old I was, just because I was travelling alone. Uncle came late to fetch me from the airport, so I amused myself with opening more presents.

back at the house
I settled into the house that I once stepped in three months ago. After I was shown my room, I moved my guitar and luggage there. Sweet! I have a queen-sized bed all for my own before my elder sister comes to take half of it away. Haha;D two whole months of lazing around before she comes in July. I unpacked my stuff and placed them into the drawers. Aunty Irene got for me a working desk to do paperwork on. It’s not your average working desk but it’ll do fine. My cousins, Selina and Jason were real nice, they kept asking me to go next door to view their masterpieces on the construction of playing cards and Jason allowed me to one, just ONE try to fall the cards but I still had four standing. Hungry. Grandma showed me around the kitchen, I made myself bread with butter to eat for lunch. Back to more unpacking;(

Dinner. Jason issued table politics. Cute guy. I ended up seating right in front of him. The whole dinner had him staring at me intently between mouthfuls of food. Lots of grins and a cheeky smile breaks from the corners of his mouth as he goes into gleeful mode. HAHA. After dinner, we had fruits. I took an apple and went to bathe after that. When I got out of the shower, I was called to watch a movie with my cousins, ‘Spiderman’ okay fine, it was more like episodes. Bedtime was 830pm for the young ones. I’m allowed late nights. Retired to my room, took out the computer and downloaded pictures into the computer. Surprising, I can’t save them unto the folder. Justin: I heard the songs in the disc you gave me. Thanks really nice songs inside.
I slept early for once. Too early. The room’s too quiet even in the early mornings. The quietness is really deafening, it’s like piercing into your ears. There are only the occasional planes soaring past in the skies that you can hear the roar of the engine. However, the room’s quiet after a while. I bet if a mozzie flew past, it’ll sound like a speeding bullet. Listening to my mp3 relieves my ears.

Ps: I think it went bonkers after the customs check. At least I cant still hear the music. The display screen is screwed.

notes to everyone;D

8:16 PM

14th april 2007

A note to my parents:
Hey mum and dad, how’s life back in Singapore while I’m still on my flight? HAHA. I still think I look like a toot carrying to much baggage on board the plane. A true born Singaporean-kiasuism. HAHA. Mum don’t cry for me yeah;D though it’s a far way from home but I’m sure I’m capable of looking after myself and I’m sure the LORD will watch over me. Take care of the little devil at home. I’m sure having spent almost a year in the same room as me, she inherited some of my crazy loud traits at home ;D I’m sure she’ll substitute for the laughter and noise at home. *getting emotional now* what I really regret the most now, is that I never really got the chance to hold you tight and give you a goodbye kiss mum. Dad: hey dad, haha;D take good care of mum while I’m away yeah. Don’t overstress yourself at work too much. Thanks dad for being my dad, friend and budd;D will miss ya.

A note to my sisters:
Hey my two sisters, haha;D man taking this flight alone seems like a third of me is missing. No one to laugh along with me, no one to smile and giggle at me, no one to sleep on my shoulder. HA. I’m missing you’re two like crazy! Haha;D though I got the aisle seats, the two seats beside me are empty. How I wish they were filled up by your presence, though it’s only occupied by a pillow and a blanket. Darn it! Charmaine, I will miss you fr two whole months before I get to hear your infectious laughter again. HA;D thanks loads for helping me with Sharon to take care of my bear bear, Nicole and Wrinkles while I’m not there. Hug them to sleep just as I would do every night. Sharon, I miss having a roommate around. You were a great listener to my crappiness and problems even though you usually dozed off when I’m getting to the climax. Its okay -_-‘’. I will miss your messy bed and table. Hope to see you in Perth soon babe.

To all my friends: I miss your guys loads too!
F6 orange plate peeps;D thanks for the scrapbook filled with pictures inside. They really brought back memories that I used to treasure so much. The book kept me laughing throughout the flight. Pictures speak a thousand words. Thanks for the wonderful memories as a clique.
1T31;D hey Elrica and all, thanks for the collage book. Really sweet with all the weird poses for photos. I like Joash picture and words. Haha;D thanks loads for the happy moments spent as a class of 1T31.

8:10 PM

Day one. 14th April on the airplane flight
from Singapore to Perth QF72

It has been a few hours since we parted at the departure gates. But it seems like an eternity since I last saw everyone else, my family, relative and friends. My flight took off promptly at 0905. I won’t deny the fact that I feel scared and frightened of taking this journey alone. I may look tough, cheerful and bubbly on the outside and within me, I’m just like any ordinary girl who would be afraid of the slightest unexpected incidences. I mean, it’s also my FIRST too flying off to a foreign country that I’ve only went to for a holiday twice and this time, It’s all on my own. No one else to back on, no one else to lean on for support, no one else to share my feeling of fear. HA;D I’ll try to laugh to keep my butterflies from coming out of my mouth. I’m writing all of these down in my seat 28D on the plane flight. It’s been a few hours past since I boarded this flight and still a long way more to go before I touch down in Perth. Haha ;D oh yeah, I nearly forgot where I sat while I was coming back from the toilet. Opps. I still think airplane toilets are super neat! Did you see the whole toilet flush system? It’s errr…so sucky. HA. To put it crudely, it just sucks everything and goes somewhere else, which I don’t wish to probe further into the matter. HAHA. FELLOW PEOPLE way below, don’t look up at the skies with your mouth open. You may be in for a big surprise ;D hmm. Oh yeah, I just had lunch on the flight too! Immediately after I took my seat, I ransacked my seat pouch to look for the menu. Aww, shucks, no menu there. Anyway, I ate steamed fish with broccoli, bread and salad and an apple juice to go with it. Guess what! FREE dairy chocolate and chocolate covered ice-cream cake. Oh la la. Haha ;D I guess I’m okay with the flight but sadly my in-flight entertainment system doesn’t work. Sads. Can’t watch movies on the flight but I don’t lose out cause I’ve already watched FREEDOM WRITERS and The Pursuit Of Happyness. It’s getting cold here. . Thank goodness I have got my own form of entertainment, like reading friends’ notes. YES. I read all your notes and look through most of the presents already. Thanks loads. You can’t imagine how much I laughed on board the flight while reading all your notes. Still another few hours more to go and I’m getting bored. HAHA;D

Ps: hey Justin, you wore that blue formal collar t-shirt. I must say you look real dashing in it. HA. No kidding. Blue is definitely your colour. So say bye bye to MR BLACKIE.

Pps: Xavier, fellow stoner! HAHA. Yeah you wore your hot black collar t-shirt. So hot looking in person than in picture. Thanks for the birthday present, though I cant bring it over now. My elder sister will bring it over for me in July soon. I’ll be meeting Nicole soon.

I’ll like to extend my thank yous to all who came to send me off at the airport and those who wanted to but couldn’t because of other commitments. No worries, it’s alright. I got your best wishes.

a part of me is missing

Sunday, April 15, 2007 1:46 PM

15th april 2007

im missing you guys all back home. will update soon with all my flight journey rousings soon when i can connect to my other computer. till then, my aunt hasnt connected to ther broadband and it takes two weeks for it to take effect. anyway, in short. life here is okay. its not so cold yet though its autumn. winters coming soon.

mum dad, hey how are you guys back home? doing and coping well. love you hear from youre again. im missing everything bout home. the laughter and cosiness all. take care of yourselves yeah;D love ya!

touchdown

1:44 PM

14th april 2007

landed safely in perth.

kianyong house

Thursday, April 12, 2007 6:52 PM

8th april 2007 saturday. met kianyong and juer at king alberts park macs for lunch. yay! i ate mcwings. super nice. okay but i still have to agree that KFC crispy wings are still a whole lot nicer. haha;D kianyong was super cute when we saw him. we nearly laughed our heads off when we saw this small boy wearing an oversized shirt and baggy pants coming down the steps holding a cold storage bag in one hand and the other supporting his TIMES slingbag. haha;D super cute. later on. we dropped by ky house for fun and a game of game of life. surprising a won in the end with the most amount of money with er... no children at all. haha im barren. thats okay;D super rich kid stay in a 3 storey house ahhh with two dogs and 3 fridges. one in the computer room too. ps: it has raw chicken in it too...er....

game of life loves;D

my deck of cards. see that 100'000 salary plus the cheap 40'000 house.

juer ME kianyong all sprawled on his snoopy designed bed ps:not many guys have snoppy on their bedsheets already. mommy's boy;D

its just so hard to say goodbye;(

6:34 PM

12th april i dont think im ready for it yet. i dont think im ready for it at all. its not my wish to go either at such a point where my life is taking a peak in everything. im not sure what lies ahead either. everything seems all planned out for me but everything seems like a total blur right now. i just dont know how to feel now. not excited nor anxious or scared. okay maybe im a little scared. cmon, its my first time flying alone. the rest of my flight trips were with parents sisters or with friends. none that i remembered were on my own. all alone in a flight to perth that lasts for 5 whole long hours. im not sure even the letters that my friends write for me would last me the whole trip/ its just two two two more days to the day im flying off. yeah. if you didnt know its the 14th april thats a saturday. in the morning. somehow i dont think im looking forward to that date either. i just wish time would just drag on and the 14th wouldnt even come at all. im afraid of everything there. new environment, new climate, new culture, new people, new school, new food, new lifestyle, new ME. its hard but i got to learn to adapt yeah. okay maybe the ME wouldnt change at all. well two more days. what can i do bout the remaining days. number 1: eat all the spicy food i can find to fufil my tastebuds for the long 8 month away from singapore's hot culture of heavenly food (i just dont get whats so NOT nice bout singapore food i mean you got to love it that much) ps: macs dont even have big breakfast meal. pps: no chilli sauce for free (you have to purchase your own tomato sauce too) im so gonna buy tobbasco sauce at the mart and bring it along with me for lunch. number 2: meet up all my friends to catch up on old times laugh it out and share the joys and memories. number 3: make small little cards to give out when i meet them while i go out.

well nice its only 2 days more i cant do much but its all i have left.

finally im BACK in the business

1:10 PM

im back! missed me anyone?