Monday, April 23, 2007 11:07 PM
23rd april 2007Day ten.
Maybe not everything new is good. Not even attending school. Though I set off for school with an open mind, I only came back with an even more confused mind I am tired. Really. I know I promised not to tear or cry out again but I couldn’t manage all the built in stress. I thought school would change everything. But it didn’t, instead, it only added unto my workload of worries and confusion that im going through now. Sometimes I wonder to myself, why did I choose college for studies instead of a high school? I know I wanted badly to escape the whole uniform thing they wore. Surprisingly, while you guys back home complain on how long your skirts areand always try to get away with the discipline of altering your skirts. Over here, their school skirts are super skimpy and short even up till the thighs and they don’t get caught for it. Haha;D first day at school didn’t go so well for me. Neither am I looking forward to the next day at school. First day at college and I’ve already got English homework (like reading two texts in inferring the authors claim to the topic and views he tries to portray), write an open paragraph on one text (what’s an open paragraph?) and a questionnaire. Had all my subjects in one day today. Economics was really boring because all we did was to watch a video on microeconomics and yes the teacher is super tall haha;D. Accounting looks fun though. Maths was crazy, the lecturer practically rushed through everything. Chemistry was dead because they had so many students to one class that some arrangements had to be made which lost time there and so we were let off late. In all, college life ain’t easy like you said. It really is’nt the whole play play thing. I bet even junior colleges in Singapore would be so much more easy than college here. The lecturers here are only to FACILITATE and not TEACH. So all your work is done through self motivation and self study. Im not ready for that though. I guess I can pretty much say I have been used to being spoon-fed like all other Singaporeans. The lecturers back home gives us notes to refer to, there are tutorial classes to question your doubt and ccas to work off some steam. But over here, there’s no tutorial class. All questions or doubts, that you have to approach the teachers in your free time not even during your lectures in classes. Oh great. Its not going to be easy to open that mouth of mine to ask questions. It’s going to take some time and time is something that I don’t have considering that I only have two terms of work and exams for my final TEE exams in November. This sucks. How I wish I attended high school instead, at least the teachers there wont treat you like adults. Here, its all independent learning. Something im not capable of.
I know I promised myself and you guys back home that I wont shed another tear again but I couldn’t control today’s one. They all just kept flowing out non-stop after I finished classes at school while I was waiting for the bus. I merely thought of how my day had been and all and they all just came out flowing by the sides, a little at a time. I cant say how embarrassed I was to be tearing in public but I couldn’t control it any further. I restrained those tears at lunch already. It was stress, confusion and just pure worrying that got over me. I miss having lunches and breaks with friends to chat with, laugh with or to follow to the toilets with. Here, everything is on my now. No one is accountable for you. I miss taking forty winks in classes and lectures but here I cant, the speed at which the lecturers go at is way too fast even if you went toilet for those few minutes, valuable information would have been said and you wont have any piece of it. Well great, its late and I’ve yet to complete my work assignments. I will bog sometime again when im free. This is considered a long post already.
I didn’t even remember tomorrow was it. I don’t think I even want to know that it is/ being a year older doesn’t mean to bring in anything good. Not for my seventeen year after how everything turned out to be. Just an hour more and somehow the excitement just is’nt there at all. Happy birthday though.
