the risks that i take are all worth is even if it's for a loss

Wednesday, May 30, 2007 9:24 PM

30th may 2007
Day forty six.

mid week. and still another one more day to go till i finally get my holiday! wait it aint A HOLIDAY its two days of holiday. but crap, the teachers beat us to it. ive got applicable maths homework waiting on my desk and just being a great eyesore there.

school wasnt too bad today. other than the fact i had chemistry test today in the morning, it was marked and later in the afternoon on our second lesson, the lecturer gave us back our papers.

when he said he'll give out our papers, we were like 'what!' (no one expects a teacher to mark papers that fast- and mind you, the test was quite long) i turned to my neighbour, francis, and asked him dubiously 'didnt we just had our test this morning?' 'oh wait! we DID have our test this morning RIGHT?' he just laughed at me, and said 'yes'.

i didnt do too bad. got the highest;D and that faqih went to relate my high marks to my dad's (teddy bear) brains. oh all people, why that father? i'll rather give the credit to my biological dad. thanks daddy! for your brains and all ( although you didnt pass over the whole computer skills) really funny;D i didnt take information systems as a subject for fear that all the computers i touch will go into hibernation mode.

people question me on why would i want to do business studies in university and yet take chemistry in college? the fact is that theres no link between the two diverse subjects. whats even more confusing for them is that i do really well for chemistry -( to them, they feel its a waste if i do business since i could easily do medical)

one simple reason: i try to do well in all my subjects. (thats part of the spore kiasuism i think) everyone puts pressure on spore students to work hard to score well in everything so i guess i got my training since young. MR YEO! THANK YOU for teaching me chemistry in high school!

though i must say, being the youngest in all your classes where everyone else is either one or two years older than you and youre scoring almost the top every now and then, well it gets scary. i mean to them i must be like some super child prodigy- no kidding, before my friends knew me, (seeing my height and size and all) they assumed i was 14-15 years old and they were skeptical of the fact that such a young kid could study in a college meant for adults. see the link- if you look young and you score well in every single subject you take (word goes round that youre a child prodigy) when in fact YOURE PERFECTLY NORMAL.

THE HEIGHT issue always somehow start of the conversation. nice try.

oh, i also got back my maths results on uni and bivariate data. didnt do too well. though i came in 4/5 place. the lecturer was really unpleased with this round of tests. he even threatened that some of the students ought to drop to discrete maths of even flying start program ( at this part- he lost his cool)

lunch was funny. LP lost it and went crazy in the toilet. her door couldnt close so i rushed into the next cubicle and locked her out. i came out all relieved, thinking she FINALLY managed to close the door, but she didnt, instead, she was still trying to lock the damm door. HAHA. when i came out, i looked at her, behind the unlocked door. she got a shock. 'i pee-ed finished already. have you?' (thinking she was done too) 'er... not yet.' WHAT! the whole time i was inside, you still havent gotten the door locked? not bad LP.

9:10 PM

30th may 2007
Day forty six.

Under the silver stars
Right where he broke your heart
Girl you know
I'll give you anything
I wanna hold your hand
And say the words he never said
I'll make you promises you can believe

Let me be the one
Telling you it's alright
Sharing the smiles and tears you cry
Let me be the one
Lovin' you when you're weak
For all the strength you need
You can come to me

When you're down and you feel so lonely
Turn around
You can come to me
When you're down baby
I will be the only
Come to me

You can just be yourself'
Cause I don't want nobody else
All of your secrets are safe with me (Yeah)
(For the kind) For the kind of love you can trust
For more than just a crush
Baby why don't you just
Come to me

When I've got you in my arms (Got you in my arms)
Say it's where you wanna be (where you wanna be)
'Cause girl I'm down on my knees
Promising my heart
Oh my heart

Whenever you need me (I'm always here)
Whenever you need me girl
Whenever you need me (I'm right here)
Ohh, I'll be there
Whenever you need me (Just reach out)
Whenever you need me girl
Whenever you need me
I'll be there

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 9:03 PM

29th may 2006
Day forty five.

i like this week. friday no school- some professional development course which i am not involved or neither are any of the students ( which is such a good thing) and the following monday is PUPIL FREE DAY at canning college. which means i have an extra long weekend to long out for. but somehow i get this stupid gut feeling that i'll be at home studying for tests the following week to come. teachers have always been one step of us students no matter what. they always do, you think you can fool them- yeah right ( like how me and my friends used to tell our chemistry teacher, mr yeo that the chemistry test was the week after always) i miss those times. but now here, well the tests are all on a daily basis, and its always on MONDAYS. wahhhh! the start of the week and you just cramp up leaving your weekends to pure endless studying.

Sunday, May 27, 2007 8:55 PM

27th may 2006
Day forty three.

i need to find myself again.

Saturday, May 26, 2007 10:09 PM

26 may 2007
Day forty two.

weather forecast for next week. rains and showers on saturday till monday. oh how i dread the wet season. if only perth had like a tropical season like singapore. i dont like winters- i never did. not once and i'll never will. you know how young little girls used to fantasize over playing in the snow, tasting ice for the very first time and making a snowman out of snow. well i never imagined any of it. i never liked cold weathers, not even the rains in singapore. i cant say for ice skating or snowboarding or even snow sports (because i wouldnt mind if it were for sports). i miss the sun dreadfully.

i cant wait for summer to come though its like another 6 months more or so till then. when i do get back to singapore- i'll get myself a sun tann and this will be on my to-do list.

but for now, im stucked with autumn turing winter in june which leaves me with just a few more weeks to adjust to the cold temperatures, oh did i mention: the minimum this week is 4 degrees. not bad. a little lower and the saliva from my mouth would have turned ice or the air that i breathe out would have condensed so fast that it forms ice in the still air (okay, im just exaggerating too much).

the leaves have all turned orange and some red. you hardly see green anymore, somehow, all the trees have shed their colour and changed their oufits for winter. i mean why red and orange in autumn? and green throughout spring and summer. why cant we have like blue or purple or pink(okay, i so did not type this out) during other seasons. haha;D my wishing thinking.

Friday, May 25, 2007 10:37 PM

25th may 2007
Day forty one

thank god its friday again. a whole weekend to spoil myself with treats (mugging and studying for upcoming tests) oh CRAP, i sound like i enjoy doing it. i sound like a complete nerd. the type who finds complete enjoyment and a sense of fufilment in studying all day and night. trust me, i am so not that YET. let me stress it to you. not yet, means i will be one soon when i exams are near. i do admit i still dread tests and assignments due dates. i mean a totally SENSE person would dread it unless youre as defined a nerd in my vocabulary.

i am way way jealous of my friends. i so definately want to watch pirates of the carribean. i havent even watched spiderman 3 yet! thanks teddy bear for asking me out to watch it with you guys;D ha but i guess my weekend plans are just studying. when i do get a week without having to study for any tests, i will so go out and take a break;D (though i guess thats all against the odds and just part of my wishful thinking. when my sister comes over, i'll make it a point that saturdays are strictly shopping days. whippee!

i guess being small can be great disadvantage at times. somehow height always seem to pop up as an issue to be discussed. but at the same time, im glad it did- its ironic that a certain issue like height could start of a beautiful friendship with friends. the big and cute guy and the small and cute guy ( dont ask why such names are given)- i shall get better nicknames, these were given by themselves. somehow guys cant make up NICE nicknames.

maths and chemistry classes- though theyre hard to catch up and all but the friends i have in them are really fun;D thats why i tend to like these classes. its the laughter you get while being with such people (even though they are guys) dont ask why- i tend to mix more with guys than girls opps;D lunch times are fun too- we get to gossip about people and their dresscodes in school. every lunch period- you do your usual scan around the cafeteria and look out for the usual gossips. quite interesting though- never fails to make me laugh;D

Tuesday, May 22, 2007 10:00 PM

22nd may 2007
Day thirty eight.

'too much reality for a tuesday afternoon'. i know i asked for an eventful week but i didnt expect it all in just one day or even for the matter of fact that much reality in it.

lunch. i'll never forget that one lunch. so much reality in just one lunch. of all days, my econs teacher had to be so nice to grant us a quarter earlier for break to lunch since we finished our test. and of all lunches, it had to be this one. an hour for lunch as compared to the usual 45 minutes. and it had to happen then.

call me naive or what but i agreed when my recess buddy asked me to sit with her cousin today since she forgot to bring her lunch and its with him. well i tagged along. so there we were on a table of four, her cousin and a friend (i kind of forgot his name) and the both of us. everything seemed fine at first till after i got back from a toilet trip. (they started whispering between each other) alex, her cousin nudging him to make his move. well okay this part, you get it...

they spoke in chinese. (i thank myself for learning chinese) alex was askding him why he didnt want to talk to me. oh great! at this point, i started to speculate a lot. was it me or her? its only the two of us girls at this table. (it was queer as the table was usually filled with alex friends but just for this it was just the four of us) and then it sparked me. oh god. noo... please.

they didnt make it clear that it was that. but he started asking me loads of questions, like my age, the subjects i was studying, april or feb start prog, which university i plan to go (at this point alex made me joke- he hits the guy on the back and says to him to go there too so he'll be able to see me there), whether i have morning breaks (so that he can study with me)

i mean a complete idiot would know where this led to. and i totally avoided this topic. i mean come on, if he was hot enough, i wouldnt mind and might consider but he aint. other than he does have substance inside. most hot guys in my college. like the hk guys with the uber super cool hairstyles (you can totally drool when they walk past you) have no substance trustme.

that wasnt bad enough, alex invited me out for a movie with friends and included me and him. ha;D i was way smart. my excuse: i have grocery shopping, opps! sorry cant make it!' not bad huh? but hey i do (its all part of independence-you make your own shopping)

well i was glad that its all over- im just scared he'll start looking up for me at lunch. oh i have to add him on my list soon. im on undercover starting from today. thank you alex. youre such a great friend.

point to note: if youre left with just 20 minutes to wait for a bus- DONT you ever go grocery shopping, you wont make it back in time. i tried it and im so foolish. i merely went to get some stuff and rushed back to the bus stop. i looked at my watch 3 more mintues till the bus comes.

and zooms... it just went past me. running for the bus is a stupid thing so i gave up since i was so far away from the bus stop. well oh great! i have another 30 minutes to wait for the next bus. no more outside trips for me. waited for the next bus- not in silence.

this lady in her forties came up and sat beside me, seeing my texts on accounting book 2 and 3, she inquired on the course i did. and we just started talking ( well thats perth- everyone just pops up and talks to you) i talked to her like 20 mintues before she boarded her bus. pretty cool. she took up accounting as a bach and three other bach, in total four. not bad. and she made switches in her career from nursing to accounts to computer infosys to politics. and for her TAFE exams she scored a high 90' s which can easily get her any spot in any good uni. well other than kids, that didnt stop her from attending classes at school to finish where she left off. not bad.

well today has been or had been a little too eventful for my liking. too much reality in just one day. its just not me.

Sunday, May 20, 2007 5:18 PM

20th may 2007
Day thirty six.

i managed to get better today. though my throat still feels dry and im flu-ing a lot now but i guess its all clearing up. i thank the heavens i didnt come down with a fever. if i did, i dont know what i'll do. without mum beside me to sponge me, without her to cook me porridge and bring my medicine to me when i was too weak to walk. i dont know at all. thanks everyone for your well wishes to get well. i did and im glad because i have two major tests up next week that i have to prepare for.

it was pretty weird. acension day was supposedly on a weekday but they celabrated it on a weekend on a sunday. well church was the same today, just that for the homily, they screened a video on the conservation and construction efforts for the st mary's cathedral in western australian. they asked for donations but i didnt give any. opps;D
after mass, i went to visit mother mary in that quiet little spot of her own at the side of the church.

mum, i finally understood why you cried so easily when you looked up at her demure face. that figure of statue wasnt just a statue because to you, you saw her all. her quiet timid, selfless love for all and her great compassion for the world. i had the same reaction when i saw her, just in that small little spot with flowers at her side adoring her. there she stood, so demure and lovely, you just couldnt stop tearing at the greatness of her love. i placed my bag down and knelt down to pray. i just couldnt help it, i havent even got to my second sentence, and i felt as though she knew everything that i was experiencing in my life now. tears just rolled down uncontrollably then. though it was just a short five mintues with her in her presence, it felt like an eternity in her warmth.

the wonders of prayers. even to someone so far away, it does mean a lot to me. and thanks for all your prayers. i received them in my 'mail'.

Saturday, May 19, 2007 8:47 PM

19th may 2007
Day thirty five.

things havent been going well. i woke up with a very bad sorethroat on a weekend. a weekend that i hadnt been looking out for. i planned for a whole weekend of studying and i cant let a mere sickness like that pull me down. i didnt have any mood today. it was really hurting bad. i knew that i was getting sick the day before, but i dismissed that thought. and yes, it was foolish of me to do that. having to fend for your own even while your sick wasnt something i was looking out for. i hadnt expected it.

things got even worst come afternoon. i didnt had the appetite for lunch and i dozed off while studying econs for the test next week. my head couldnt take it. i was bound to have a headache soon from studying lying down. but i was just too weak to sit upright to study. took a short nap ( though i hardly slept) woke up at one for lunch.

studied again after lunch. i promised to take a break. but i couldnt because of how time flew with each passing second. (i hate being unproductive in my work) i never took that long to study. (other than putting sickness aside) slept again at five and woke up an hour later for dinner.

im glad it doesnt hurt that much now. how i miss mum's constant worrying over me when i got sick, blaming me on overstressing myself at school. i miss my sister's jeering at me when i got sick and couldnt eat chocolates or sweets. and mum's temptations when she'll purposely tempt me with sweet stuff. here, no one reminds me to take my medicine. i count the hours till the next i take them. no one tells me to drink loads of water other than the fact grandma and uncle told me to wear on more clothes because catching a cold in winter is so easy.

crap. i shouldnt be blogging. i have to get back to work. this is driving me nuts;D

Wednesday, May 16, 2007 8:50 PM

16th may 2007
Day thirty two.

5 degrees! wow you have so got to be kidding me, i told myself when she told me that the minimum degree reached the night before was 5 degrees. i seriously wonder how i actually managed to sleep through everything. i guess i was just too tired to actually shiver from the cold. i woke up this morning to another dawn of 15 degrees. i guess autumn is really passing on the baton to winter this coming mid may. officially in june, winter would start its race. and i dont know if i can survive in the cold winter days. here at 15 degrees and im shivering so badly already from the cold winds.

today was a long day. i finished school at 515pm. it was supposed to be at five but the econs lecturer just loves us too much that he always makes it his point to delay us 15 minutes later. 15 minutes to him may mean nothing to him (it might just be for him to wrap up on certain issues and key points taught) but 15 minutes to me is a lot. it means getting to catch the bus on time and not having to wait another 30 minutes for the next available bus. (this is perth, all buses operate in intervals of half an hour- no kidding.)

i had my chemistry marks back from the earlier test we did on monday. which i totally had to cramp in my brain 5 chapters of work in which only 3 chapters were tested. oh crap. but it helped i guess. i scored well. the highest was 38 out of 40. i got a 34 (the second highest) but hey it was only taken a small percentage of the marks so no biggy.

soon it'll be accounts and econs tests. aggh!

i finally understood how it feels like to be breathless under the stars that hang over you and at the same time shivering your guts out. ever seen titanic before, you know the way they breathe out in short breaths as though it was so difficult to breathe at all. well i had the same feeling when i was walking back. it was so cold that i had to take in short breaths. it sounded as though i was asmasthic. but sadly, since it was dark when i walked home, i couldnt see the water vapour that condensed right out of my mouth. my lips grew numb and i walked so fast back home. a ten minute walk mind you. i dont remember walking so fast in my whole life before. you know how i short person like me can actually take longer opened strides? well i did that and it hurts now.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007 7:50 PM

15th may 2007
Day thirty one .

15 degrees. no kidding. really. i nearly froze in the mornings. and i didnt want to get up from bed at all. removing the sheets was the most difficult thing you could do. getting out of bed to turn on the lights was even more difficult, every little sweep of wind past your face makes you shiver from the cold chill of the morning winds. i had to wear on three layers today. but thats for the top only, my legs refused to walk at all because it was all cold stiff from the cold winds that blew past when i made my way to the bus stop in the mornings. the chill of the morning air really freezes all your knuckles up till your fingers all feel numb. your nose starts to hurt from the cold winds that bite it. and you just cant stop sniffing.

i struggled with the weather just like everyone did today. they turned on the heaters in all the classes. but the heat only warmed us for that short while before we changed classes and had to move on to the next classes.

i got back my english essays . surprisingly. and i mean it really shocking. i actually did well when i thought my essay was a piece of crap. i didnt even planned for the draft and all. i just wrote and blabbered on (at times repeating my argument).

so next week, i have an econs and accounting tests which are all regarded in assessment marks for your final year grade. i have to study. crap. my weekends are burned out. what a bummer!

english is full speed ahead. he's really putting the pressure onto us all. we're watching two movies on the australian identity this week and we have to do our own research, write a script play and design a poster for the script film you have written on. there would also be a test assignment on your responses to the films we watched so far.

wenesday is here soon. im halfway through my week.

Monday, May 14, 2007 8:10 PM

14 may 2007
Day thrirty.

if you were to count the numbers of day since i left to this very day. the 14th of may, well its been my first month here already. my first time at learning the true meaning of independence and i learnt it the hard way. well another month and a half more and my sister would be joining me here. it'll then be her turn to overcome all difficulties. (with me around to help her-that's for sure!)

today was super tiring. i had like two tests up (one i didnt even know about till i stepped into class). and it was cold, really cold today. although the reading read 17 degrees, it felt like 15 degrees instead. i guess its just the wind and all. when the alarm sounded in the morning, wow i didnt even want to wake up or draw the covers away. i just wanted to snuggle up. it was frezzing cold. when i changed- brrr i changed like in a split second. stepping out of the house and walking the whole road down to the bus stop was the hardest. the winds kept blowing and i kept shivering. no joke. charmaine, youre so going to freeze here if you dont get used to the cold. my fingers hurt when you wash them in hot water. its like cold hands in hot steam- they just burn.
and it was pretty cool when you see condensation in front of you when you breathe out ( i got that idea when i saw passing motorcar engines emit out steam vapour as they drove past. the funny thing was i kept kept with my breath seeing the smokes of condensation as i waited for the bus.

chemistry, i fretted over the chapters and stuff to study. it wasnt told to us what was tested at all. it was like 5 chapters of memorising work to be done within these few weeks (chapters i havent even learnt about- all jc work) and the lecturer didnt even teach at all.
cmon, all he ever does in class is to write out summary of the chapter and im not that stupid to copy them all down on a4 paper (they dont call it foolscap paper here) like everyone does because its all written at the back of the chapter under the overview, so i just day dream in class;D

econs- test on supply and demand curve. crap i didnt even study but was lucky enough to have read through the notes on saturday when i did my assignments- referred to them. so i think i should do okay (i hope!)

accounts- okay i can gladly say im struggling in the whole trading accounts and profit and loss statements. went to the library after class to photocopy more questions to do. i cant believe im so hardworking. nope im just desperate to catch up in class. i cant afford to lag behind just because i have no experience in accounting before.

maths- not surprising. he rushed through the whole thing again. we did like 5b-d in one whole lesson. wow. its like as though if you cant catch up your so dead or screwed.

i never liked mondays. because its a new week. and the weekend is so far away more to go.

Sunday, May 13, 2007 6:30 PM

13 may 2007
Day twenty nine

haha;D got it. todays the real day. anyway to all the mums out there. get pampered by your children today. for all the hard work done screaming at them to bathe or do their homework (reminds me of my mum) but i miss her LOUD voice so much so that i wont even complain even if she kept rambling on the whole time. all the mums out there who tried to keep the family unit bonded close with their love, it wasnt an easy job juggling work, career, husbands (who drive you mad sometimes- because we women can do a much more better job than them) and even the children (those little scumbs) haha;D you guys, (wait mothers i meant - really rock so much)
for all your dedication to the family, your work and your own lives, wow! you guys can really manage.

so today. mays the thirteen is definately youre day. let your kids pamper you be it a nice dinner, a mothers day card or even a small little wish with a hug and a kiss to go along with that. because you deserve it all for you have done for us. though we can be mischievious and sometimes drive you insane and nuts, but we love you all the same. how i wish i could do all of that now for my mum. (if only mothers day was before i left singapore- then i'll spend the whole day with her, pampering her with hugs and kisses)

mum, though i might on say it out loud or show it on my face, i do love you a lot. i thank the lord for the very day i was born into your arms. you walked with me in my first few steps and even till now as i walk on this journey alone. you cried when i fell silent and victim to my own weaknesses and prayed endlessly for me to have the courage to step on when i felt like giving up on myself. you gave me encouragement when i lost myself and helped me pick myself up from every fall (be it the first time i rode a bicycle or even when mentally i lost all hope)

i prayed for you today at church mum. i wanted you to know. because i do think of you everytime i went to church. though i didnt cry like you did when you recieved communion or when we prayed the our father. but i miss your hugs after the peace be with you. i had no one to hug, no one to kiss, just people to shake hands with and a big smile. i prayed that you have the comfort from him to overcome all your obstacles that you have in holding unto the family and that he will grant you peace and serenity in all that you weep in. because mum, i dont want to see you cry at all. you shouldnt. well not for me or anyone else.

i miss you mum. i miss you a lot. i miss your footsteps and shuffling of your feet when you walk past my room, i miss your loud calls to the family that dinner is ready and your constant reminding me and sharon to wake up on a lazy sunday mornings for church. i miss youre cooking! its the little things that you do (its considered big for me) that makes the memories so worthwhile in my mind.

this (i self proclaim) is the WORLD'S GREATEST MUM. (hoot hoots!)

Saturday, May 12, 2007 9:36 PM

12th may 2007
Day twenty eight.

i cant really remember whats the actual date for it. its either today if not tomorrow then. but anyway, since everyone is celebrating it today back home. i shall say it.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL MOTHERS.
especially so to the one who gave life to me, brought me up and loved me all the same.

its because of women like you that children like us grow up with character. you taught us to love with your love, taught us to smile with your smiles and taught us how to walk through life.
if there wasnt a day dedicated to all mothers for their neverending love for their children and husbands, i'll make EVERYDAY a mothers' day.

oh and one more thing. happy 14th birthday sharon! i cant say how happy i was when i turned 14th the last. all i know was that my 14th birthday felt super great. i hope yours did too. hey girl. sorry couldnt celebrate it back home with you. i wish i could. no worries, when i return, we'll have a celebration for your birthday and mine too! haha;D i missed you so!

i didnt really celebrate mothers day with the rest today. they went out to eat lunch and celebrate mothers day. i stayed at home to mug for chemistry test on monday. its 5 chapters at one go. i'll just die. haha;D so much jc 2 infomation all stucked up there for the test. its crazy. went online in the afternoon till night (my family webcammed me from back home) haha;D everyone hasnt changed one bit except charmaine yeah you look chubbier and whatever you call it 'bak bak' (fat in malay) sorry. i kind of gave back all my singlish words.
haha and chris still looks as cute as ever (the playful kid that he is) benny(still as naughty) and my aunts(the same care and concern from them) haha i miss you guys so;D sharon (i support you to cut your hair) no more stupid fringe yeah-it pulls down your face and do put on make up (you look hot in it) haha;D

holidays.
beach.
no school.
enough said.

some common terms used back in singapore but here it holds a different pronounciation.
it was really funny because i had a conversation with a friend from sydney and yeah;D totally cool because i got to know some weird antics of singapore.

luncheon meat: spam ham (dont ask why)
the most funny of all is this. to us, we call g strings as tongs, while for them tongs are basically non-covered shoes or flip flops. (i so cannot imagine wearing g strings as slippers -so weird)

they dont call it slippers, to them, slippers are those furry slippers you wear at home to walk around.
and they have no idea what sandals are for and what is it. i explained to her it was basically those non-covered shoes with straps at the back (so why cant you call them flip flops instead?) funny . i wonder why so.

knickers here are your underwears, and i thought it was like another type of sneakers that you wear. gosh (totally different things to wear on)
oh this is good (learnt from my cousin) for all women who do wear bras or sport bras -here its called boobie covers get it.

not bad.
the difference in language.

Friday, May 11, 2007 10:57 PM

11th may 2007
Day twenty seven.

i cant say how jealous i get whenever i see these two sisters board the same bus as i do in the early mornings. it just keeps nudging me on the fact that i dont have my sisters here with me. i miss the times i spent with them back home. especially so sharon, i miss sleeping in the same room as her and our catfights every now and then, i feel so empty and bored without anyone to fight with. haha;D

was really looking forward to school today. not because of the lessons but because its one day more to freedom of the weekend. haha;D and besides i only have two 1 hour 45 minutes lessons on that day so pretty much i get to return home early without having to walk home in the dark. but i kinda seem to like walking home in the dark because when the skies are clear, you'll get to see the stars way up above grinning at you as they twinkle like shiny dust in the blue skies.

three more days to a month here. and happy birthday to my uncle. today's his birthday. and just two more days to mother's day. how i wish mum as here to celebrate it with me.

oh crap, saturday would have to be spent on studying for chemistry test on this coming monday. big test. have to mug. haha;D here comes the nerd in disguise. haha;D had english assignment in class which i think i screwded really badly for it. and maths well i got the highest but hey its just pure luck and the chapter though ive not learnt it before was relatively easy i think. it felt weird that im the youngest in class and i scored the highest. i think tongues will wag, who cares...

Thursday, May 10, 2007 9:19 PM

10th may 2007
Day twenty six.

just four more days and i'll be my first month here in perth already. i have yet another seven more months to survive till i get back home. im missing all the high rise buildings that we have back home. unfortunately, everything here is all flat. (theres plenty of land here) im missing hell a lot the transport system back home, the fast access and quick waiting times for buses and trains, here everything operates at a half hour shift so can you imagine if you miss your bus its a half hour wait. no kidding, and yes bus strikes here are very common. oh wait did i emphasize on the word VERY.

school today was really hectic. i had like two periods of accounts with only a break in between so in total it was 3 whole solid hours of pure accounting. boy, i would have loved it if it was all balance sheets but nope, thats the easy part. we did the four journals today, cash payments, cash receipts, sales and purchases journals. not easy. i got so confused because the numbers just flew about, unlike maths, the numbers just stare right at your face, in accounts, they fly all over the place and i am so not joking. had econs right after lunch. point to note, econs after lunch is never a good thing, it just tempts you to sleep in it after a nice meal at lunch. crap. i was so bored and the weather was so nice ( yes. i finally got adpated to the COLD weather here in autumn okay maybe not- today was sunny) on cold days i WILL shiver from the winds that blow past me.

oh did i tell you. i screwed up my english assignment on the essays for short stories and feature article. an hour to write up two essays each one and a quarter page is not an easy feat especially for a spore girl whose english aint that strong, you cant judge my english just based on my o level grades, oh how i wish to change to 2A classes instead. well i shall just wait for the results of my assignment back soon.

walking at home when the skies are dark with a clear night sky is really nice. especially so when the moons not out but the skies are all lit up by these tiny specks of dust like fragments, fragments which we call stars. im not kidding, compared to singapore, they are like thrice the number of stars here in the clear night sky,
try putting a girl who has never seen that many stars in the night sky and a whole night sky full of blinking tiny specks of stars and what do you get?
i just realise if you walk backwards the stars never seem to fade at all. they always seem to be there and even more so, they look numerous in numbers. so yeah, i walked backwards the whole time with my head tilted upwards to the night sky, immersing my whole self in the beautiful scenery of the night, i cant tell you how peaceful the feeling is but its really warm in the heart. it felt as though if i counted all those stars up above, it was the number of people behind me supporting all the way through my journey here. how i wish that the clouds would never come and hide the stars away.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007 10:18 PM

8th may 2007
Day twenty four.

in just a couple more days time, it'll be my firts month here all alone in perth. other than the fact that im totally grateful and thankful that i have relatives here to take care of me and give me a home to live in but its also a month where i will gladly celebrate my first month at full independence all alone. haha;D sure life at first start when i just arrived wasnt easy at all, it was like i had cut such a huge slice of a cake and i couldnt even swallow a piece of it at all. everyone had to learn independence one day and i did, but i learnt it the hard way. looking back, the first two weeks when i just arrived was hard, even before school began, life was so miserable for me as i got homesick with each passing day, i had to chide myself that attending school would take my mind off things but that didnt happen. the next one week when i attended school didnt make up for anything at all. new environment, new friends, new culture, new education system, everything was different, once again, i had to force myself to adapt to the changes and im glad i did.

thanks to all the support that i had throughout my darkest moments in life within those two weeks, you guys back home never gave up on me and knew i had that will power that i didnt even knew about within me. your encouragement and support spurred me on to take on greater heights and to learn to adapt to life here. i guess i might never make it out of my shell without you guys and all.

sorry i didnt go online yesterday, basically (opps, we kind of promised our english teacher not to use that- said its a common repetitive word in MOST of our scripts) im super busy for the whole week of school so i'll only be able to go online say tuesday, friday, saturday and sunday. other than these days, you wont see me around because i'll be busy mugging i guess. i have to.

oh crap, i just realised im super stubborn and that i dont like to let any matter rest if its not up to my expections. a trait that runs in my genes that came indistinctively from my dad. i so do not fancy the transport system here. super inefficient. which part of im studying at canning college and im only 17 that you do not know and that i ought to be charged a lower fare. cmon, dont relate my school to only having adults there jut because it states its an adult college. im only seventeen and yes im the youngest.

Saturday, May 05, 2007 9:33 PM

5th may 2007
Day twenty one.

the weekend is here. im so glad. though i have to say that this week has passed really really fast and i couldnt catch up on the number of days that have already passed me. but who cares, the weekend is here, no more waking up at 5.55am or going to school and only getting back home by 5pm, no more long lectures in school, no more sandwiches for breakfast, thats all because ITS THE WEEKEND. i get to sleep in, i get to eat nice lunches and just slack at home. oh wait, i didnt slack at home today either...

woke up by eight in the morning which was really surprising because i use to only get up by 10 back home in singapore. ate breakfast and watch the yound ones play on ps2 then i started mugging chemistry. i just got feedback from a friend ion the college who did year 12 before and she said chemistry wasnt easy to grasp and she also struggle with the subject in the year she took chemistry which surprisingly was the same year as me. she was only 17 then. thats because year 12 chemistry was based solely on a follow up of year 11 work. but she repeated year 12 again to attain a better score. crap, im so dead for chemistry. she also said accounts would be okay to grasp and economics too. i doubt i'll ever manage my english so getting just a pass would do fine with me. i seem to be studying really hard in school and this freaks everyone out but hey im not a super mugger, thats all because of the fact that im doing year 12 when i ought to do year 11 only. i missed like two years of education. remember, i stopped school by year 10 (sec four) so im such a 'newbie' as you call it when it comes to year 11 or 12 work. i have two years of work to catch up in just 8 months. highly _____ i shallnt say it.

spent the whole moring till 12 mugging chemistry and yeah taking loads of breaks to rest of mind from all the cramping of infomation inside. (ate biscuits and was really tempted to eat my chocolates i bought earlier)
after lunch( noodles), we went out to the mall again. i had to get some stuff. shopping was cool. the sun was shining, and we didnt go back to the same shops once more. this time round, uncle took us to another mall. i bought shoes, jeans and socks. basically all clothes. after we came back from our trip, i mugged maths. my life is so pathetic. weekends are mugging days and its so ironic in my earlier statement when i said i love the weekends, although all the weekends have to be spent this way ( seriously i still hate mugging)

one more day to a weekend and its back to school. maths test on wednesday and chemistry tests every monday from next week onwards. this is how life is set out for me. its the path i have taken so far.

ps: sharon. i so do not speak like an australian. there is no such thing as an aussie accent, its called an australian drawl ( though only people living in the outbacks have that kind of accent)

i speak PROPER english.

Friday, May 04, 2007 9:11 PM

4th may 2007
day twenty

THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY. HAHA. thats what everyone says here. i love fridays so much. number one i end school early at three and secondly, i get to go shopping for groceries. thirdly and my favourite of all. THE WEEKEND IS HERE. yes!

9:00 PM

3rd may 2007
Day nineteen.

Ending at five every Wednesday drives me crazy. the long hours of studying and the lack of sleep the night before.( I still cant seem to sleep early- guess im too used to sleeping late back home) the middle of the week and you end at five. Wow. It’s a real torture especially on the mind. I slept early that Wednesday night- I was really too tired and im really regretful that I didn’t manage to go online and blog my events that day. its really unfortunate that I didn’t have the energy to even go online. So instead I did my homework and slept early after a couple of times which I dozed off even after repeatedly eating biscuits to keep myself awake.

Anyway, Thursday’s here. Though I only had four lessons, however they are all an hour or two hours each. Had accounts in the morning- we did on transaction analysis , balance sheet, profit statement and trial balance (accounts is getting tougher) haha. but hey I still like the subject. Though you can go crazy with all the numbers and the pressure on yourself to not make careless mistakes- in being precise with calculation. Econs was next. I cant seem to pay attention in most econs classes. Haha;D always feel tired in it and yeah I dread it because the lecturer would always bound to pick me for answering questions. Ha;D English- we went to the computer labs to type out our feature article. Oh yeah;D and I just realised that I can get to skip the whole australia elecs class which teaches on the australia geography and culture and yes its tested in your TEE exams too. Haha;D but I’ll rather take that because all my friends have that class while im the only Singaporean who doesn’t take that because I take 3A English and I still cant seem to catch up with the class since everyone else is either an Australian if not they are all whites.

Im so tired today. I ended at five today, got cramped with students from curtin university on the bus, and boy am I hungry. Not to mention all the workload I have to catch up with soon. Im so happy tomorrow is a FRIDAY. Yay! The weekend is bound to be here soon. I cant believe that this week went past so fast. Haha one week gone, another week closer to coming home.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007 10:08 PM

1st may 2007
Day seventeen.

I like Tuesdays. Firstly, it goes to show that Monday is OVER, therefore all the tiredness cramped up on a Mondays due to the late hours I sleep at on a Sunday night is over. Secondly, I end school early at 3 while the rest of the days other than Friday too end at 5 plus. Ending school early means I don’t have to cramp in a busload full of working adults getting off from work. Ending early means I still can figure out my way home in daylight without having to grope in the night skies at 6 when I get home. (okay. I didn’t grope. But hey, there are so few lights on the roadsides.)

English lessons. I spent the whole two hour writing on a draft for my feature article. I didn’t know what to write either and got caught up a couple of times with a writer’s block. I got back two assignments from the lecturer too, I got B- for my evaluation on the Valentine’s Day massacre and a C for my questionnaire. Im still thinking of making that switch to 2A classes instead of my current 3A.

Economics. I think all econ teachers love me. don’t ask why. I bet my former classmate Leng Seng would know since both of us were the usual baits for the econs teacher back in AC. ‘amanda, you answer’ or ‘why is Leng Seng the only one who did this question?’ (I did it too but I didn’t want to raise my hand because of a previous incident with the whole hand raising up) I miss econs classes back at AC. I miss madam Kee theory on Singapore is a small dot (then she goes on to finding a small red dot on her dress that she wears) haha;D

Previous incident on hand raising up incident:
A note to all beginners, do not be foolish and raise your hands when an econs teacher asks you whether you did your work. It wouldn’t do you any good from that. you’ll just be the guinea pig to answer that question and its not just one answer, its all the answers. The problem with many econs teachers is that once you give them an answer, they remember only you in their class. Unfortunately, somehow Leng Seng was as foolish as me then.

It was the same even in canning college. My econs lecturer keeps asking me to answer his questions knowing that I would always have the answers to those questions asked. Just because I did well in one of my answers and it got itself printed out in copies for the rest of the class to keep for reference of a good structured answer doesn’t mean I ought to be the target all the time right?

The skies were grey the whole time today but it didn’t rain, I am thankful for that. I cant imagine walking in the rain home after school again. a bad experience once is good enough.

Accounts class was fun though I kept dozing off when the lecturer went out of the class to print some papers for us. It was a whole day from the start and my brain just keeps telling me to doze off.

I went to the super mart after school to get some groceries (wait unless you classify sweets, chocolates and munchies as groceries then why not?) im really spoilt for choices, so many chocolate bars in sizes BIG LARGE LARGER or if not its packs of increasing numbers. Haha;D I do have a sweet tooth one that has to be satisfied when im studying for long hours. Hey, its an incentive for studying hard.

Tuesday out. Wednesday’s here. Im halfway through the week.

10:04 PM

30th april 2007
Day sixteen.

Two weeks have already gone past and it’s a whole new week again. I have been counting down to the number of weeks left till my sister comes to accompany me. hey sis, no pressure for you to rush down yeah;D I’ve already been managing on my own so far. Being independent be it studies or buying my own stuff and managing my own life. Another day at school, another week of studies and head cramping lectures, another week of longing to be home in my own home.

Every morning when I take the buses to school, there is always the familiar sighting of the Quantas airplane that I took to arrive here in Perth. I cant tell you how much I long to take the flight back home to Singapore. Be it 8 months time or what, the longing to be on that flight is just too great and overwhelming sometimes.

Monday classes are all packed with all the subjects. Two lessons on applicable maths and I have test on the whole two chapters next Wednesday. That’s how tough lessons are. No homework is to be done at home (so pretty much, we rush through all work and assignments in classes) maths: we did like exercise 5A and B in just 15 minutes. Its possible but most of us couldn’t catch up. (the lecturers cant do anything- they have schedules to keep up with.

Loads of homework have started piling on my table. I still have no clue on how to do my English assignments. Crap. I think I’ll just fail the first one. and hey, I just realised im taking 3A when I could be taking 2A (which is relatively EASIER) now that explains why im struggling in my 3A classes so far. Should I take the switch?

I was lucky enough to have bought those two thermal long sleeve cardigans (surprising they kept me warm). Though my hands still felt stiff cold. Haha;D it rained today in light showers though all occurring once every now and then. I was just lucky to have escaped untouched by the rains when I finished school.

I have another week to survive through. I’m done with Monday.