the risks that i take are all worth is even if it's for a loss

Saturday, June 30, 2007 10:41 PM

30th june 2007.
Day seventy eight.

just one more week to go before i take my college mid terms. everything passes by so fast. just in a blink of an eye, three months have passes since i was here. seventy eight days in total. everyday at school passes by so quicky that you dont even have the time to pause and think, what am i doing here or what's my purpose. well, charmaine's coming over soon in just a matter of days. eight days in exact. its not fast, neither is it slow.

i went out today, the very last time before exams start. somehow its been part of me to play as much as i can before the exams start. HAHA. we did that for the o levels then also- went out to catch a movie and had dinner together.

though this time round, i was rather restrained. because after the city trip, we agreed to go back to the college to study since the library was opened for the examination week. well as they said, make good use of the resources available. we did.

i met the rest at the esplanade bus port by morning- and i thought that ive be late because i missed my bus (the buses dont come reguarly on a weekends. it never does. we're talking a one hour difference in between shifts). by 11am, we took the blue cat into the city and guess where we went?

northbridge. if you didnt know, is famous as a red light district. well even in singapore, you have geylang as your typical call girl area. over here in perth, you have northbridge. but the best part is, these shops are opened even in the mornings. 2 dollars for a free peek show. not bad. who's got 2 dollars with them? spare me some change. one day, i shall sit around that shop and just put a hat in front of me asking for spare change, well it wont take me long to get 2 dollars. what the heck, i have my own to see. what for do i have to see theirs?

my mum is just so smart, that even at times, i cant stand her. i told her i was going out today the night before. even before i said which part of the city i was going to, she answered me NORTHBRIDGE. whoah, i mean cmon you dont just associate me and northbridge. i know im sick and all (okay. i didnt confess to that) but northbridge is not my usual hangout. please note that. im not for all those peek shows, not when ive got my own to see and admire while bathing. northbridge and me just dont mix. haha;D no one ever associates me with geylang back home.

they bought apple strudel. the whole strudel came in a long box without any pieces sliced, so i'll only get to savour it monday lunch hour. haha;D someone's rich they bought three boxes, 15 dollars each i think. went for lunch at taka. dont get me wrong- its a jap restaurant not your typical takashimaya mall back home. and i thought so also when i first heard of it. the food's not bad. i liked my portion. oh when it comes to ordering meals- dont order the large one if you think you cant manage a full meal like i can. you'll just be wasting a lot of food. i was lucky i was hungry then so i ate finish my large meal. oh oh. charmaine while youre here the next, remind me to bring you there to eat. i didnt like the whole beeps everynow and then from the black plastic disc-like plate that vibrates and beeps when your order comes through- and you just go and collect, its efficient but i hate the beeping noises.

after lunch, we adjorned back to school for studies. well there werent much souls around either because of the fact its a saturday and a rainy one at that. you know i hate rainy seasons. they only make me pee more (well its a fact because you lose less water as perspiration so the excess water has to go somewhere else right? POINT TAKEN) and you seem to always have this thing about munching on tibits and sweets. dont blame me on my sweet tooth. i know i have this thing for chocolates recently. rainy seasons make me want to sleep and cuddle up to keep warm. i didnt have the mood for maths though i brough my maths book and worksheets to study on for monday's test. i didnt. instead i did my research for chemistry by the computers. i am good. i researched for my stuff with the occasional emailing. the schoool computers didnt support msn messenger at all, which bothered me a lot. since i was so used to having it around everywhere.

by four, the library had to close for the day so we had to leave sadly. though i was for home since i was tired from facing the screen the whole time for two hours straight. no joke but my eyes were dry tired from all the information lagg.

i nearly missed my stop. i have to be thankful to the indian family sitting opposite me for making such a great din when they left for their stop. i woke up after telling myself to take a small teeny weeny one. well, it didnt work. i dozed off and this time its for real. i cant imagine like missing my stop and ending up somewhere else. HAHA. i thank my lucky stars for that.

Friday, June 29, 2007 9:35 PM

29th june 2007
Day seventy seven.

i have come to a conclusion that jeans are officially really hard to find in australia. dont get me wrong, jeans are NOT hard to spot. almost every women's fashion clothes wear outlet has jeans. but they don't carry my sizes. sheesh. what's with that? everything here is either too big or too small. nothing ever fits my size. fine! i am small and all. but hey in spore, i could easily find my sizes in any outlet, even more so in bugis.

i have tried on the smallest sizes, a size 8 and it's way too tight. the only thing is that it fits perfectly on the hips but sides are tight (i guess that's pretty much because i chose skinny jeans) and a size 10 is way broad at the hips and it makes my thighs look fat so it's also a no no. oh, that's for the women's sizes.

i had to resort to the unbelievable sometimes. sneaking into the children's department to find something that i am able to fit in. ive bought a pair of jeans there. unfortunately, and embarrassingly so i had to resort to buying a size 16 of which is the biggest size in the children's wear. that's just for clothes and im not done yet.

i even face the trouble of buying shoes here. women's sizes are 6 and above. guess what size my feet are. well not even close. im a size 3 1/2 although i wear size 4. i told you. seriously, what do you expect from a small girl my size? well i had no choice- i needed to get a spare shoe. so i resorted to getting one at the kiddy section. though i hate to say it. the girl's shoes are all flowerly if not its pink or if all else fails, its with butterflies and heart shapes. for your infomation, i didnt even go near those as a likely choice. i went for a plain white one instead.

at the end of this week, im left with just a week more till my school term exams start. gosh! one week only. okay the pressure still isnt getting to me as yet. im so screwed. amanda! pull up your socks and quick.

today was funny- classes were all so boring and dead but the after class spirit was crazy. in the morning, i met daddy just in front of the library and he made me walk with him to the ISO to study there of which i didnt, i went online instead at the computers. he's nice- i made him carry all my books whenever i see him emptyhanded. HAHA. during chemisty, me and gerry were almost close to dozing off. thank goodness i brought a lifesaver- my mentos sweet. shit, i should have brought my DARK CHOCOLATE instead- it'll definately perk you up for nuts. two hours of solid chemistry is nuts when frank just goes on and on about something that all can be explained in the book. oh wells.

maths lesson was disturbing. i had someone feeling bored behind me. of which, when he does get bored you wont wanna know what he does to get your attention. oh brother, guys. joe rushed though three exercises in all just under two hours again. that's him. his teaching style is yet all so stressful. i guess everyone's getting into the exam mode. what about me?

i dont feel anything yet. i think im just born slow.

Thursday, June 28, 2007 7:38 PM

28th june 2007
Day seventy six.

today is officially a bad day. not when youre cramped up with two major tests with loads to memorise the day before. i had my macroeconomic test and accounts test on depreciation of which i think i screwed both up really badly for the theory part. (too much to remember- im going crazy!)

the year 12 students didnt have to come to school today (it was a student free day for them) here comes the 'best' part- april start students still have lectures as per normal. WHAT! i arrvived to an empty school at a quarter past 8. thankfully,the library was opened.

other than just a few classes running on today for the april start classes, the whole school was empty- even the cafeteria. no kidding- for the first time the cafe was spotlessly empty. hardly anyone came for lunch then. it was only a few bunches of people and that's it. oh, but the best part was that we got free sandwiches that were left overs from the teacher's training session then. (cheese, salimi and spring onions- it was a rather combination but im going to try it soon)

so far my lunches have been rather on the boring side with bread almost everyday other than the times i used to steal lp's rice/ noodles or when mummy lets me eat her lunch in exchange for mine. i have tried weird combinations of sandwich making (soon after- i'll be a damm good pro at making sandwiches)

ham + cheese slice + strawberry jam
butter + ham + lettuce + tomatoes
bbq sauce + ham
salmon + lettuce + tomatoes
raspberry jam + ham +cheese

what else should i try out?

Monday, June 25, 2007 8:55 PM

25th june 2007
Day seventy three.

it rained in the mornings. and it had to, just as i stepped out of the house. i think i looked stupid with the blur raincoat on. but hey, i dont care if i look cute, small, stupid or adorable in it. as long as i dont get a cold from it, im happy enough. i cant afford to be sick. not when my mid terms are just two weeks away. its fast, i know. you didnt have to remind me, everyone is, even myself. dammit. the pressure's not sinking in yet.

at least right now, i have something to keep me company on my bus rides, a book. STUPID WHITE MEN. it's an expository text which i have to read for my english classes. like lit- so far, i have studied plays, films, short stories, feature articles and soon enough a novel. not to mention- the only other backgrounds i had for lit is during my secondary two years in seconday school. im not kidding, the highest ive ever scored in that area was in the sixties region. it was that bad. and here right now, i have to take lit again since im doing english 3B. this is not helping me.

i have a short attention span. everyone knows that. i cant seem to sit still to study for 20 minutes max. i tend to walk about, the kitchen is so far voted as my favorite place to visit and next the toilet. so when someone throws a book in my face, its hardly by any chance i'll be done with it in a month's time. it's terrible.

lessons were long and draggy today. maybe because ive had the monday blues. i dont like waking up in the mornings these days. its so cold at dawn that all you just feel like doing is lazing on the bed after your alarm goes off. its really tempting to fall back into slumber once more and use the stupid excuse that you work up late to catch the later bus. i could just drag my covers to the toilet and brush my teeth there. but i'll look stupid with a bed sheet trailing behind me.

because today was a monday, i had to bring most of my books to school. and they weigh a ton. i am not kidding. a small 45kg girl carrying books almost half her weight. that is no mean feat. i thank my canoeing muscles for helping me carrying my chemistry and accounts texts. in school, because i had the same classes as daddy, i made him carry my stuff for me while i carried my bag. his hands were free anyway and he didnt mind at all. nice daddy other than he's occasional threatens to dip them into the pond waters. ewwww.

and he was purely bored today. he kept on disturbing me in maths, and how am i supposed to beat you in maths if you dont let me concentrate? haha;D im not listening to you anymore. haha;D that's if i want to win my bet, which i have to. if not i'll strangle myself. haha;D

(pulls hair) she had to remind me again the exams are coming. i know. i know. (bites fingernails) okay i dont do that at all. im trying to get into the mood but its not getting to me. i feel lazy. well just this week.

Sunday, June 24, 2007 9:17 PM

24th june 2007
Day seventy two.

did i mention? winter's here and that's not all. i hate all the thunderstorms. aggh! its getting on my nerves. not only do i pee more (okay you so didnt need to know about that), i tend to get hungry more often which is not good. because i have this large container of unfinished cadbury dairy chocolate and a whole pack of 13 of kit kat in my drawer, which by far is highly accessible within my reach. thats not good. im yet off to buying another big block of cadbury chocolate to munch on.

i havent really tried munching on a bar on a rainy day. it might be nicer than just freezing out in the cold rains. did i mention. 11.8 degrees. thats how cold its getting and soon mid july it'll reach 5 or even lower. new south wales had winter- SNOW for the very first time. im praying perth does too but not with the cold chill and all. if there's snow the temperature is bound to be below 0 degrees.

ive had a wonderful relationship with my blanket. it loves me and i love it. at nights when the temperature goes to about 8 degrees. it keeps me huddled warm under its sheets. and in return it hug it close it night. my relationship with it is going to last me through my winter nights.
blanket i love you!

Saturday, June 23, 2007 6:58 PM

23rd june 2007
Day seventy one.

this was supposed to be yesterday's blog but because it was raining i could blog the events.

22nd june 2007
Day seventy.

friday's always feel like fridays. and the best part about it is that the day finishes so fast, (that's an understatement) i have two lessons and a long break. but those two lessons are both two hours each. and without mummy's dark chocolate, you see me asleep on the table already. or maybe better. i'll be playing with my pens, doodling on my papers. that's how bored i am in class.

we decided to go to the city after school with the initial plan of going to northbrige to eat cheese cake there. (oh yeah. northbridge is famous for their red light district) dammit! stupid rains. it ruined all our plans. because of the heavy storm outside. we took shelter in the library before we got chased out again because it closes early on a friday afternoon. everyone who took shelter from the rains in the library had no where else to go. the cafeteria, international office, student services centre were all closed. so where do you go with a bunch of 5 other girls to hide away form the cold winds and rains. the toilet. im not kidding. the toilets were the only ones left opened. we stood by the hand dryer and warmed ourselves. it was funny since the only sounds from the toilet were those from the hand dryer and not the flushing of the systems.

we waited till michelle finished her physics class. 7 girls waiting for just one in physics class to go to the city. surprising, daddy also had physics.

i cant remember what i said wrong. but i got rugby tackled by him and he messed up my hair. i had to retied by hair in just those few mintues from what took me almost ten minutes in the morning. and shayma was irritating, he kept on stepping on my shoes. till a point i turned back and started whacking him with my chemistry book. i got piggybacked by daddy. well after which he put me down at an area uncovered by shelter which made me wet by the rains. nice one.

we were arguing over daddy's umbrella. he didnt want to take it out for the girls to use. so we had to use the only available ones we had. but when she saw us shivering out in the cold, ha;D he reached into his bag and took in out for them. i shared an umbrella with mummy and its POOH BEAR. daddy walked out in the cold with faqih without any hoods on either. stupid. the both of them soon after huddle under one small pooh bear umbrella, before we pushed them out into the rains again. haha;D

i hate rainy days. but rainy days with friends around dont seem that gloom to me. its that sunshine you have when everyone else beside you is shivering out in the cold. everyone's laughing at the sad state they are in because of the rains. everyone like you are drenched out in the cold. when you have friends, it changes everything.

6:31 PM

23rd june 2007.
Day seventy one.

winter's officially here. and hell, its going to stay here till late september. three whole months of cold rains and thunderstorms. three whole months of not being able to go online as usual since during a thnderstorm you have power cuts. dammit. i hate perth's winter.

think about it. what's winter without the snow and all. even if it means freezing your butt off because of snow. i'll like to see snow for once in my lifetime. but no. perth doesnt have winter. it's just rains and thunderstorms everyday. you didnt read wrong. its EVERYDAY. other than the cold rains which reaches a low 5 degrees out there which i cant imagine myself walking home in such a situation. (i think i'll just freeze out in the cold)

there is also hail storms (of which i have witness one today in the afternoon). not kidding, it was all sunny after the clouds moved off somewhere. then it happened. it sounded like someone was knocking over your roof. but merely, it was icecubes that fell from the sky. if you think about it. it was as though heaven aboutu had a large refrigerator that made icecubes and like popcorn, everthing just exploded out and fell unto earth. haha;D but yeah, hail storms are nice to see, because its like snow, just that it isnt white at all. (though it's not nice if youre caught in one) i think its painful. WAIT, it IS painful, dammit.

i went grocery shopping this morning with my aunt and grandma. i dont think perth people are used to seeing students studying while waiting for someone. well, it's very much a common sight in spore when you see students studying and doing homework be it on the trains or buses. i was waiting for them to finish up grocery shopping, we went different ways. i bought my shopping already, so i waited for them at a bench ... and i took out a my economics book to study. wow. you get stares all over. the boy pushing the trolleys passed by me three times. one family sat beside me after they bought icecream or their kids. two cute girls. another family came after that. two boys. (okay, i wasnt really studying, well i couldnt- not when i had people staring and smiling at you) HAHA.

i spent the rest of my saturday indoors because of the stupid rains. it starts one moment and stop the other. (imagine me rushing in and out of the room turning off and on the internet modem to avoid a surge in current should there be a power cut from the thunderstorms) i looked rather stupid then. did i mention? the rainbows here are really awesome. after the rains, when the sun comes out. the rainbow comes out and stretches all across the sky. its just as amazing as your stars. ps: charmaine, when you come here. remind me to let you watch the stars and rainbow. you wont regret!

Thursday, June 21, 2007 10:20 PM

21st june 2007
Day sixty nine.

it's really amazing when you can fit the word obvious into a whole sentence or two and still make sense out of it. really cool.

isnt it really obvious

that obviously you have been missed

by a very obvious person

who may not appear that obvious to you

but hell a lot her actions

of missing you are really obvious.

so obviously if youre smart enough,

you would have missed her too!

OBVIOUSLY.

thank you. i know it's such a good piece of writing since it was written by obviously me.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 9:41 PM

20th june 2007
Day sixty eight.

all hail mummy's dark chocolate. i nearly fell asleep in chemistry class in morning. the great thing about it is the cocoa percentage it has inside which keeps you awake- very much like how coffee would. same effects. i get high on dark chocolate, i get high on coffee also. it was a two hour long lesson and even cory (the guy sitting beside me now since there's no more francis). everyone was super tired in the morning and had no mood for chemistry, knowing that we were going to get back our test papers.

i screwed my test up bad enough. and the worst thing is that i can still be second highest in the class. well the highest wasnt really that high as compared to the other class. surprisingly our class always seem to get the lowest marks for tests in comparision to the other. i think its the teachers fault. haha;D and its totally unfair. the other class started off with 21 and they now have 20 left. in our class. wow! major difference, we started out as a full class of 17 and right now, we're left witha miserable 10 of us still surviving in chemistry.

i lost to daddy. he beat me fair and square by a lot. he beat me by 9 marks. thats a lot. there goes my treat on friday. wait, totally unfair- i shouldnt have taken up his bet in the first place. he's super good in his chemistry. competing against him is like sucide for now. i shall beat him by the end of the year. i cant imagine a daughter having her dad's great chemistry genes. imagine that look on his face when i do beat him then (my wishful thinking).

lunch. i didnt follow the usual. i didnt go to the cafeteria for lunch with lp. instead i went with mummy and the others to the ISO for lunch. my second visit there and hell, that place has EVERYTHING. from microwaves, to hot water dispenser to even a sandwich toaster. i was like whoah! really amazed at how privelledge they are to have all these there in the office, while the cafe only has 4 mini microwaves to heat up your food. HAHA;D

michelle and i traded out lunches. i took her lunch (overnight dinner) while she had my sandwiches with tuna inside. i love your lunch! i cant remember when was the last i ate like rice for a lunch meal. it has always been sandwiches as far as i can remember. wait, oooo i ate rice (bought from the cafe) on monday since i had run out of tuna for monday's bread. okay, we'll it aint that long then. two days i suppose.

shayma and me traded our half-eaten sandwiches with one another. he took my tuna one and i had his fried egg sandwich, ooooo. nice! this is what happens when everyone gets bored of the lunches they are having and end of eating another person's lunch ( because we craved for that nice change in our lunch diet) for a matter of fact- i have been faithfully and i mean faithfully eating sandwiches all my three months here. other than the one week that i ate pizza ( of which it totally sucks- cold pizza heated up doesnt taste too good.)

it wasnt just a simple luncheon. it was more of a gathering of foods. haha;D and making merry with our food. yummy! oh other than michelle's lunch, i ate a piece of butter slice cake and a ROC candy! haha;D look at the advantages of sharing food. hehe;D though i tend to gain more then lose out. opps;D

had a break after lunch while the rest went for their elective class which they were late for. i went to the library to escape from the cold as usual during such breaks. i studied! i actually studied. well i did my maths so its part of studying. yay! chemistry starts at three.

mummy came after her class to look for me in the library and we went to class together. oh wait, did i mention, she dropped chemistry. of which i have yet to strangle for her. so yeah;D she walked me to class then and even stayed on for a while for a chat while frank went outside to take a puff before he started class.

wow. you could see the sigh of relieve when the afternoon chemistry class was over. everyone was like all packed and ready to zoom out of class when the minute hand touched the 15. you could hear all the shuffling and packing of pens into pencil cases. zipper sounds and bag chain sounds resounded throughout the class while frank was still teaching like say 10 minutes to the end of lesson.

he made me scream again. whats up with the whole coming out of nowhere and poof there he just stands in front of you. me and my big mouth. (slaps mouth) i shouldnt have opened that mouth of mine and ask around for daddy.

'where's daddy?'

mummy and i were looking for me outside his class after we were done in our labs. (we were all in different classes)

seriously, we looked rather stupid looking around for this huge big black guy.

my back was facing the classroom door of which where he came out from, so i didnt see him come out of class till i felt a tap on my shoulder.

i turned around and the next moment.

i screamed.

'what the heck! dont do that to me!'

i swept his hands off my shoulders .

'you gave me such a fright!'

'what? what did i do?'

'i only came out of class and the next moment, ive got this crazy girl screaming at me.'

HAHA;D everyone started laughing then. i mean like how often do you see a big guy against a small girl.

and then, i went on and on on this whole argument that tall big guys should never stand or pop out of nowhere especially in front of small people. it scares the daylights out of them no kidding. although it wasnt really daylight when he scared me since the sun of setting. so its nightlight. haha;D okay random me.

number one. if youre tall, dont try to scare a small person at all because you'll only end up the winner in it. no kidding. its a predicted win right from the start. and we small people just end up shaken from the frightening encounter, haha;D its even worse than a scary movie. okay somewhat similiar in nature, you know how those serial killers come out of nowhere and take their victims, well no offence, but yeah, tall big guys- to us midgets as you all so like to name us by, you guys are giants.

number two. if youre black also. thats even scarier. (no offence to race) imagine my daddy coming out of chemistry class without you knowing taps on your shoulder and you turn around thinking it was someone your height. well youre wrong. there stands a tall, big black guy looking intently at a midget sized girl. of course i screamed. its natural human reaction to scream. if something pops out at you out of nowhere, thats scary enough, but if that thing is also black, like whoah! even more scary.

today was really fun! i had fun stealing other peoples' lunches. surrender all your lunches to me people. i shall have a feast soon. all to myself!

so i think its an obvious question

of which im obiviously not sure

whats the answer to this obvious question

which might have an obvious answer

which obviously

isnt that obvious to me

Tuesday, June 19, 2007 9:19 PM

19th june 2007
Day sixty seven.

the stress is starting to kick in on the upcoming exams. its not only the pressure on myself for scoring well in all my subjects but also the added pressures of the teachers across all classes. every single lecturer is going at lightning speed in all the lectures that its almost impossible to catch up if you didnt do your own revision outside class times. i guess that explains why everyone is dropping a subject to concentrate on the other ones.

you need a minimum of 4 subjects to calculate your scores for the exams. we took 5 at the start of april term. now, its only the minority few who are left with 5 subjects. almost everyone has dropped out of at least one to concentrate on the others. friends ive made in different classes are now mostly gone (i dont get to see them in classes , other than around school). even lp has dropped out of econs to put in the extra class times towards her discrete maths which she needs for her scores. that only leaves me to see her in accounts and lunch.

it' was so hard to make friends in the first place since you had people from different classes all together. and not everyone took the same subject combinations as you. so you meet many people from different backgrounds. its easy to make friends, but hard to make a true friend. since the odds of being in the same classes day in and out are minimum.

im just glad for lunch times. i think i might have to switch from one table to the next if i were to stay in close contact with friends. its hard since you dont really see them in classes anymore.
michelle is going to switch lunches with me one day. yay! i'll get her rice (okay i sound mean) and she'll get my sandwiches. hey cmon, ive been eating sandwiches for three months in a row. for two whole months, its honey baked ham. now ive gotten sick of it, ive switched to tuna spread. give me another three months and i'll soon get sick of it.

dark chocolate! super high. mummy gave me dark chocolate this morning when i unexpectedly saw her. 70% of cocoa beans. 70% of highness throughout morning tea. haha;D and daddy actually tried to steal it. thanks a lot! dont you dare come close to my chocolate. not even a small piece. shoo!

yesterday, i had my chemistry test. im so dead. i didnt study for it, well there's nothing to be studied. its all application so only sufficient practice helps. and i did do all my homework ( im a good girl) and the questions that came out were super difficult- everyone in the class couldnt even finish within those 45minutes. i couldnt, not even shayma or daddy. and im so dead. we made a bet. if i scored highest in class and higher than him- he'll treat me to dinner. if i lose out. i pay half of dinner. whats my odds of winning?

NIL.

and i got rugby tackled by him while heading off to chemistry class. so what if im small. hmmf! i was okay on the tackling part, just not the close shave of hitting near rose shrubs nearby. the thorns and all. if i ever get at least one scratch from a thorn on my skin- youre so dead daddy. i'll tackle you back.

maths was fun. other than the fact that joe didnt come in for lesson in the morning because his car broke down and he got stucked in another suburb. so while he's getting his car fixed. he's stucked there. no maths! well, i wished for that matter! haha;D the head of department came in. rob scott took over joe's lesson- and now i wish it was back to joe. rob teached and rushed through everything so fast- i bet almost half the class didnt get.

daddy didnt bring is maths textbook, so i lent him mine-since my neighbour brought hers. see we're all good girls. we bring books unlike... okay right after i said that. he threatened with his pen to write on my book. i had such a huge reaction that even my partner laughed at me. what! i still want to sell that book to get back my money. the whole lesson was super funny- because daddy kept turning back to borrow my ruler, since his got taken by another friend. we kept snatching rulers from each other till i kept it aside and gave him my small lead refill as a mini ruler to work on, imagine a big guy with big hands holding a small lead refill case and trying to draw a straight line with it. well. you pretty much guess so. he gave up on trying and turned back again to snatch my ruler. haha;D me and simen tried to count the number of times he actually turned around (he was pure bored- you could tell) but it was futile so we rounded it off to two turns per minute.

the afternoon period for maths was cancelled as rob had another class and there wasnt any other teacher to take over the class. so we headed off to the library to chat there while waiting for maths. really funny. i was sitting with mummy and daddy at our table. i did maths, mummy did biology while daddy just sat there and stoned other than the frequent talking sessions we had. haha;D but it was fun.

Sunday, June 17, 2007 1:36 PM

17th june 2007.
Day sixty five.

three whole mintues of his abuse. three whole mintues that i had to endure before he left in a huff. a kid full of pent up anger with nowhere else to vent on, turns onto the only one there who isnt allowed to turn on him. and that fool was me.

we were all in the room. (i was used to having my privacy invaded every now and then) he would bang on the door and let himself through even before i could say anything. he didnt understand why he couldnt go into my room after repeated countless warnings by his mom. everything in this house was under his control without the exception of my room.

there he was listening to his radio that he just bought two days ago. he needed help to fit in the muffs over the earphones. i helped him. she was on the bed hugging on my pillow. everything seemed normal. everything was fine before i stepped out of the room to do my washing.

they were supposed to go out shopping. i was supposed to have my peace from the moment they left my room to get changed. but he didnt want to. something had cropped up after he left my room to get changed. he got angry. he was fed up with something that i was oblivious about.

i stood there by the basin, washing my clothes, when he stomped in without warning. that frown upon his face. i should have known better. i kept quiet. i knew something wasnt right. it wasnt him to sulk at all. in his hands he held his socks.

'amanda! it's not fair.'

'what's not fair?'

'it's just not fair!'

'what isn't fair at all?'

i was clueless on everything. i couldnt hear him well. i had my earphones on.

'it's just not fair!'

he didnt want to say further when i asked him what went wrong. so i returned back to my washing.

he plonked himself down behind me. he pulled his socks in his pent up frustration of not having anyone to muck over him and ask him 'oh why, what happened?' and shower him all over with love and affection. his mom left him alone. his random trantrums were often left ignored by the elders.

he started to slap himself with the socks. i couldnt hear over my earphones. but i sensed something was amiss when he sat himself down while the rest got ready to go out. i turned around and looked at him with that concern , which was all going to be wasted on him sooner or later. i went back to my washing.

i felt a tug against my jeans. it wasnt someone pulling it. instead it was the pair of socks that slapped agaist me from which he held in his palms. somehow, he grew bored of toturing himself because of his anger and decided to take it out on someone else. and that someone else was me. he did it a few more times. he used his socks and slapped them against my jeans. (i was glad i wore jeans- it didnt hurt as much) he seemed to enjoy venting his anger through physical hurt on someone else who couldnt do much against him, since that someone else had no right to.

i ignored his trantrum. since it didnt affect my washing, i left him alone to continue. she came outside the corridor and sat down, wore her socks and looked at him. he got angrier. i sensed it all started out with her. he stood up abruptly, sulked even more and stamped his feet against the cold hard tiles on the floor.

'why amanda why!'

'it's just not fair!'

'i still dont get you. what's not fair?'

he started to slap me. (dont worry- its with his socks) though there were a couple of times, he hit me with his own bare hands and even threatened to slap me across my face. now, the only one i would ever allow to slap me across my face was my mum, not him.

it didnt hurt much so i continued with washing and ignored him. he figured that if he wanted to get my attention, the only way was to slap with a greater deal of force. and he did. his slaps got more frequent and harder till it hurt. eventhough it was a pair of socks he was using to slap you, it serves the same function as a whip would or a belt.

i bit my lips. it hurt. hell it does. i just didnt want to show it on my face. i didnt want to show him i was at his mercy all the same- since everyone else in the family has already been at his mercy when it comes to his tantrums, no one. not even his own mom was able to control him. now you get as to why she told me to just leave him alone to fuss over his problems ( since she already gave up on him). nothing she did, not even her warnings, was able to hold that reign over him. when he was upset or angry, everything is under is control- he owns it. its like anything that goes against him, faces his wrath and anger. and i tell you, you'll be smart enough not to argue with him if you know what's good for you.

he continued his tantrum since i wasnt showing any signs towards him. he wanted my attention away from washing and he was going to get it even if it means giving it all his force. there and then, i just wished someone, or anyone would come in or walk past, and tell him to stop. no one came. she just sat outside the door and watched me get struck from behind. she couldnt do anything either. he'll just ask her to SHUT UP! and get lost or i'll slap you also. it was the same treatment even to his grandma. i couldnt even imagine myself shouting verbal abuses to my own grandma. and somehow everyone here just brushes off all his verbal abuses like though it didnt hurt their inner feelings.

i come home everyday to face his verbal abuses. i have never been condemned so much in my life before. it was as though my life wasnt worth anything to him at all.

GO AND DIE!

everything that comes out of his mouth somehow has the words die inside or if not KILL. its either, 'you better do this for me, if not you DIE!' or 'you better give me ten bucks, or DIE!'

i have been cursed for life. stained by his words. my life has been condemned to a death just by the mere words of an eight year old. it was as though my life held no meaning and it was just better if i hit the grave. if it pleases him. then, he wouldnt have to ask me to die anymore. since ive fufilled that last wish of his. why cant i die? i cant. i have people back home wanting me to come back in a full piece. i cant die, not when i have others counting on me to pull through. but i cant help the fact that if i have been cursed by someone, something along those lines that ive been cursed upon would actually happen to me.

it hurt so much that i nearly lost it.

'jason, could you stop it?'

'why!'

'it really hurts okay.'

'so...'

i give up. i took my clothes and went outside. i didnt want to involve myself any longer.

Saturday, June 16, 2007 10:54 PM

16th june 2007
Day sixty four.

i'm a happy girl. no one ever said cadbury chocolate was so nice to enjoy by yourself. not to mention, a whole block of chocolate- 60 small blocks in total. dont worry! i didnt eat all at one go. though i would have given my temptation for sweet things. but i didnt. i didnt want to get sick. i only ate 12 blocks. the best part was that i took my own sweet time to savour every last bit of bit. i had to keep telling myself 'amanda, this is your last piece and that's it.' oh my chocolate. oh did i mention, it makes you high, and real high as in addictive high;D and its effects are the soonest. i miss my ben and jerry's dark chocolate ice cream, oh and the cookies and cream is super nice too! the after effects of chocolate-te!

i just realised all my ramblings on and on about random stuff really makes me so childish. bleah. im seventeen and i still havent grown up. i doubt i ever will though. haha;D i shall be that girl that never grows up just like peter pan though im very much a girl. i think;D and dont get me wrong, there is no way childish means small or cute or anything to do with short so stop with the midget calling! HAHA;D

shrek the third. derek i cant thank you enough. even if i had like a thousand thank you notes plastered all over and sent to you, it still wont be enough. the movie was great! haha;D i havent watch pirates of the carribean 3 though. which im going to soonest! the movie was great! and somehow it was a whole lot nicer and fun as compared to the earlier ones. one word about this movie, babies. OMG. the dra-donkies are super cute. okay i made that name up but hey, it fits in. i think the whole fictional characters drawn are super cute! its like small donkies with small pink dragon wings ( that look as though they cant flap enough to carry the weight of the fat little small chubby donkies) and cool dragon eyes.
i didnt think the shreklings were cute- though they fit the bill for fat and chubby babes. HA. somehow, they remind me of my pork knuckle thighs when i was younger. i thank god, they arent there anymore. i still recall my mum telling me how nice it was to see me run since it flaps when you run because of the fats. haha;D she mentioned it was super cute.

now dont go around spreading the fact that i was chubby the last. it'll be super embarrassing;D

10:47 AM

16th june 2007
Day sixty four.

the weekend is here though i have no plans to go out at all. the upcoming tests and exams are taking the strain on me. well, not really as yet. the feburary start students seem more stressed up then me since their exams are two weeks from now. and mine is three weeks.

everyone's dropping their subjects. no kidding and this is obvious across all classes. even in english, we started off with 21 and now we're left with just 8. its pathetic. i think econs is really in a sad state. we had like a double digit dropout rate. its sad when they dropout of that subject after you've just gotten to know them in the class. mummy's dropping out of chemisty. wait! she already dropped it. ive lost two buddies in chemistry class. francis (my buddy who always stratches his head while doing empirical calculations) and michelle who always figet and play around with gerry's pens. haha;D

another three more weeks and someone's coming over. haha;D if youre reading this, are you ready? the weather, the culture and studies. well, it takes time to get used to to. even me. but dont worry i'll be there to support you as youre getting adjusted to life here. i shall be nice and leave you to discover many things by yourself.

one. your manners;D haha;D be very used to people smiling at you while you walk past them even if you arent associated with them. stepping on board buses- well, its nice if you say hi or good morning/afternoon depending on the time of day and saying thank you as you board off. well its something i learnt from others after several rides.

Thursday, June 14, 2007 8:16 PM

8 years old. i am intimidated by a mere eight year old kid.

everyone in this family is afraid of him. everyone gives in to his word. everyone is so scared to anger him. something just aint right in the family when even the eldest of the family has to give in to a young kid's squealing and tantrums.

im am not kidding. me, a seventeen year old is intimidated by a kid two times younger than me. not to mention that he's much shorter than me too. but yes, i fear i am afraid of him. i live in fear every single day that i live here. i cant say ive gotten used to his tantrums which everyone else in the family have been used to for eight years already.

'where's MY pen!' his voice boomed out throughout the whole house.

'who took MY pen?'

'MUMMY. i cant find my damm bloodly pen!'

'i know i left it here. SOMEONE must have taken it!'

'maybe you left it on the table there while you were studying?'

she assurred him as he went back to the study to check.

'MUMMY! its not there.'

DID YOU TAKE IT!

he goes around asking everyone in the family. even i was not spared.

there i was at the dinner table eating my late dinner after coming back late from school. i was tired after a long day out in college and i didnt need someone rushing up to me, and screaming in my ear, yelling where his pen went.

'WHERE IS (he dragged on his 'is') MY PEN?

it sounded kind of like a bit of yelling but very much like how an officer would interrogate someone guilty.

except. i wasnt guilty of anything and yet i got yelled at.

'i dont know where your pen is.'

'I DONT CARE! WHERE IS MY PEN.'

'i really dont know where your pen is.'

'WHERE'S MY PEN. i know you took my pen!'

he asked me again on the same question and i answered him the same, till even i got tired. but it seemed to him as though he was enjoying every moment of making me feel small by his continuous interrogation. he just needed to blame someone for his missing pen.

and that person was me.

at that point of time, i got so tired of his persistent blames on me, that i lost my cool too. i didnt do anything wrong and yet i was blamed and accused. it felt like an even worst punishment than doing something wrong.

'you HAD BETTER TELL ME where my pen is RIGHT NOW!'

'i have already told you countless times. i have no idea where you misplaced your pen.

i just came home from school and right after i put my bags down i came out to have dinner. i didnt touch your pen at all ever since i came home.'

'so how would i know where you placed it?'

'jason. now dont disturb amanda from her dinner'

she came out just to save my dinner in time. well not really so since i had lost my appetite right after that. the fact that i got accused for something i didnt do didnt help much with digestion.

the only difference was that he yelled and persistently accused me than he did for the rest just because i was new and therefore a great victim.

this isnt the very first encounter. ive had loads others. this was just one of the worst. the rest were kind of minor like verbal abuses to put you down or even something physical abuse. dont get me wrong, the physical abuse that im referring to isnt to that extent. in this case, its just slapping you on your arms when he doesnt get his way or sometimes taking his pen to poke/stab you in your back.

though he's been warned by his mom not to do that again. his reply is all the same.

'i dont care! i can do whatever i want!' the conversation just ends there. she does nothing else to correct him.

exchanges of verbal abuse is so very common in this household. i guess im not used to it since ive been taught since young not to talk back to elders. ive got a few slaps from my own mom for talking back to her or even asking her to 'shut up' and im glad she did. i really am. it has taught me to respect my elders, something of which is not seen here in this household.

words like fuck, idiot, bastard, stupid, fatty, dammit and what else more i cant remember.

his favourite phrase: youre so stupid, you stupid fucking idiot!

he scolds his elders those words in this house. something of which i cant imagine why they still can copmprehend. its even more amazing when he theatens them through words to get his ways. even more so, sometimes he uses his fork and holds it in a threatening way that it is so close to his dad's eye to the attempt of poking it right in. and no one gives a care. no one dares to go against his wishes. not even me.

i assume only that the main reason for his acts of violence in this household is due to the fact that in school. its the other way around. he's the victim to all abuses of words and even physical pushes by other kids. for the main fact that he hardly speaks up in school and many find him weird. everyone in school takes advantage of his quiet nature and bullies him. however, at home, he seems like a different person all together. he takes on the role of the bully and threatens everyone in this household to listen to him. he takes it out on those who are weaker than him just because in school, he's the weakest link.

i need to get a pair of earmuffs to block out all of his negative words. it hurts when you take it seriously. but i guess i got over it. though it demoralises you sometimes. HAHA. charmaine, all i can say is get yourself used to life around here.

7:57 PM

14th june 2007
Day sixty two.

this thursday of the week was one day i wasnt looking forward to. one was because of the late hours of school ( i was only released from college at 5.15pm) and the other was i had an official curriculum exam GAT where all year 12 english or ESL (english as second language) students across the country had to sit for. i hope you do know that im taking the english classes not the ESL ones. my english isnt that bad. my chinese is bad enough with myself getting an average pass every now and then in tests. it would be a great embarrassment if my english was bad enough.

so far ive had compliments from my english teacher and even a bus driver on my outstanding clean clear english. (let me warn you, the english standard here is way tougher as compared to your general papers back home-so dont complain) so far, ive did on feature articles, short stories, plays, novels, drama film and soon expository text.

the surprising thing is that they were even more amazed when i told them i was from singapore. i guess they have had the mentality that most singaporeans spoke broken english in short sentences or as you call it 'singlish'. i guess i used to use such a singaporean lingo back home- but for now, i guess ive lost that singlish side of speech. but i promise you, i'll try not to come back with a slang, well i hope not.

the GAT wasnt easy at all. it was a three hour paper with two writing sections of 30 mins each and 70 MCQs in just 2 hours. the weird system here is the fact that after you have finished your paper, you can leave even before the allocated time is up. after an hour of up, you have a distraction of people leaving of their desk to pass up their paper. a room filled with people right from the start of the exam, only had like 6 of us left till the end. i guess im too conformed to the old system of waiting till all papers are collected before i leave.

in the later part of the day, i had economic macro assignment ( which i have tried very hard to memo the stuff just a few days before but to no avail) i hope everything turns out fine.

i have never been so exhausted throughout the entire week. i dont know why either. i didnt go online like the whole week except monday, i have been sleeping early. gosh. i hope im not falling victim to the cold thats been passing about from friends.

Monday, June 11, 2007 7:57 PM

11th june 2007

Day fifty nine.

get this straight. im not a midget! im just small. its not my fault i've stopped growing upwards. so in short, (oh crap! i just said short) im just vertically challenged. other than the whole fact that i only grow one cm each year. while everyone is at the 160s range. yes, im still not there yet and i've still got a long way more to go.

*pats pats* on my head (with the intention of making me small and tiny) 'bye midget!' 'bye cute and small amanda!' those two guys! i tell you. when i get my hands on them tommorrow, i'll strangle them! one of them, i'll strangle him during english and the other in chemistry class.

shayma thanks for telling the chemistry teacher my name and even adding in an extra bit of infomation to that.

'so michelle have i answered your question?'
'frank. that's not michelle.'
'then who are you?'
'er. im amanda.'

'yeah. that cute and small amanda.'

wow. thanks for thats bit of information. like frank cant see for himself that im all so small and 'cute' already.

i guess everyone got high before and during chemistry class. either because in chemistry class, we're all quite close to one another ( there's only like 11 of us) you can imagine if theres 8 to a bench. theres only two benches filled up with loads of spaces in between for us to stretch our legs.

while frank was marking the role, i went cuckoo. he called out francis name ( oh man. i miss my chemistry buddy- no one to scratch his head beside me and he officially dropped it) and i went. 'oh no more francis' ( i did i whimper then) and everyone laughed. i guess when a small girl makes a joke and doesnt act her age at all, everyone thinks its funny. weird;D

although today was tough because i had to cope with long hours at school, i had two tests and the constant worrying over this thursday's GAT test for all english students. i should have taken elacs then i wont have to do it. applicable maths test- one word.

die.

accounts test- i made a stupid assumption not to study the bad debts and doubtful debts. my bad- well john didnt inform us on what to study. sads. no more full marks for accounts;(

but the day turned out for the better. somehow after lunch or wait more like after econs;D stuart let us off earlier to catch front line seats for a lunch performance at the cafeteria. he's such a 'nice' teacher dont you think ( other than the fact that almost half the class dropped his subject)

we had cultural day at school. lunch was fun and funny. there was a fashion show where students wore their national costumes and stut their stuff on the catwalk stage that was set up in the middle of the cafeteria. (i wonder why spore doesnt have out own costume- unless its the singlets that most ah bengs' or as you call them wear HAHA.) me and lp got good seats by the back. aileen, september and chris joined us later on. halfway through my lunch, michelle came up to me ( surprisingly she went through the whole canteen to look for a small girl)

'amanda. he's looking around for your number.'

'omg. he knows already?'
'no. not yet, but he's asking around all the guys in my class in who's number it belongs to'

'did he check you?'

'yeah but i deleted your number.'

'phew.'

'anyone else he asked?'
'shayma...(one long list as she carries on)'

shayma. wait till i get my hands on you. you made me and michelle so scared till we turned nearly all white. and you still have the guts to say that i look cute when i get scared. what the! im not going to go easy on you. hmmf! well you thought it was nice to scare a small girl since you never saw her get scared before. wow thanks for the great scare. i couldnt even concentrate before maths.

and he knows. he knew all along it was me. but he kept quiet. youre so dead. though you knew and you didnt tell me at all, well i shall go easy on you but not that shayma. he's dead meat. before maths was funny- because my sms got exposed and he found out long ago also. joe didnt come in early- he got caught up with stuffs so we had the time to chat around.

'hey guys. i think we'll call it a day here'
'i've got some important stuff to see to- there's a case of thief in the maths department'

-the whole class goes wow (in a quiet way)-

and its not because of the thief issue, because most of us already started packing up to dash out of the room. like no maths for today. how cool is that?

daddy's fast. he got all his stuff packed up already and he even stood up as joe took up his books.

bad luck. joe came back with his keys and decided that he'll continue with maths. ( you should have seen the look on daddy's face. like whoah. sudden demoralised face) so we had maths once again but only for 20 mintues. no kidding. 20 minutes only and it felt like he rushed through the whole lesson. we left the room exhausted.

school ended after chemistry which frank let us off late once more. i walked with the two michelles, shinyun and shayma to the curtin's bus port to catch my bus. and guess what? we saw shayma's diapers there on the outskirts of school on the carpark lots. we scolded him for leaving his diapers hanging around. and he walked around bottomless for the rest of the time (nah. just kidding) but it really was his pampers. shame boy- he's seventeen and he's still wearing it.

waiting at the bus stop with michelle was fun. we went high again ( this time without the use of chocolates.) the next time she eats chocolates stay very far away from her- she goes high. and i mean high. haha;D we started to whistle different tunes. like tweet tweet;D haha;D i nearly did it when this guy walked past. half way though my whistle i held my breathe. and michelle was like what happened? and i burst out laughing. HAHA;D if that guy really thought i whistled at him, wow i must have had bad taste in men. thats why i held my breath. it'll be so weird if i whistled at a not hot guy. haha;D she laughed.

my day was fun at school. really fun.

Sunday, June 10, 2007 10:02 PM

10 june 2007
Day fifty eight.

my first week in june has passed just like that. im only left with just two more weeks till winter arrives on the 21st june. charmaine- you'll be in for a weather shock. ha;D get use to the whole cold water from running taps in the mornings when you wash your face or the cold wind that blows when you walk to school. haha;D okay im mean. hey i went through that phase too and i didnt have it easy either. you have a heater now all thanks to your little sister here who went to buy one for you. im good;D

i went to church today. initially i wanted to go for the earlier one to skip the whole confirmation mass at the later time slot. but i lazed around in bed which didnt give me much time to dress up, eat breakfast and get ready to rush out of the house for the earlier mass. so i went for the confirmation mass instead.

the church compound were all decorated with red and yellow bands all over. with the picture of the dove and tongues of fire all over the walls. the church pews were all filled with parents, extended friends and the confirmants themselves. this reminded me of the time i got confirmed at st marys church back home. everything felt the same. the anticipation to receive the spirit, the anxiousness of waiting for your turn in line and seeing how others dress. the joy of seeing your family members and friends even your juniors who came especially just to support you in receiving the spirit. i miss my memories.

the candle lighting ceremony. we didnt have that in our confirmation. the oil annointing ceremony. i couldnt remember but i think i teared then. the whole steps of walking to the altar to the FATHER and asking him in your thoughts to grant you his spirit to set yourself open to the gifts he has in store for us. your godmother/ godfather right there behind you with your card thats written on it: amanda nicole. the priest says something and firmly pronnounces my confirmed name. i reply him 'amen'. he takes up the oil from a bottle and makes the sign of the cross on my forehead. the feeling of the oil there. the smell. the peace and warmth. the everything. i miss them all. mass ended a little later than usual.

i spent the rest of the day slacking. homework. slacking. studying. nothing else to do on a sunday afternoon. no wonder they call it lazy sunday.

Saturday, June 09, 2007 9:00 PM

my mummy and me 'a day in a city'

9th june 2007

Day fifty seven.

i went to town again this week with my mummy! really tired out from the whole day out but it was really fun. though i only had like less than 8 hours of sleep the day before because i went online and i had to get out of bed by 7.35am this morning which i didnt because i lazed about till a quarter to eight.

my aunt took me to see the fan heaters at all the possible electrical shops and department shops you can think of in perth. you can gladly say that spore has more variety of electrical stores island wide. (other than the fact that spore is super small) after spending like 3 hours walking from one store to the next with me jotting down and comparing the prices for all the heaters, well we settled for one. finally, i have hot air blowing and warming me up while i change in the mornings.

i met mummy at harbour town later in the afternoon after my aunt dropped me there. well i had to wait for her since i was there early so yeah! i did my own window shopping. mummy came in shorts! like whoah;D the weather's so cold already and she can wear shorts. not bad;D we ate lunch ( kebabs this time- chicken with bbq sauce with lemonade) the next we'll going to try out the turkish store also at harbour town and maybe the food at northbridge the next. like whats life without food? i live for food. and yes i still do miss my laska back home, and especially my pork ribs soup!!!

mummy didnt buy back anything while i did. i bought converse shoes (since my last one had a hole at the bottom- it was a great pair since it lasted me like 3 years) and a scarf. guess whats the best part? they are both green!

we actually walked around harbour town like 3 times just to find the shop that i found my scarf in and we made each other wear funky sunglasses! mummy: i still think you look great in that pair of white shades! endless walking for 4 hours since we didnt sit down for lunch either. we got tired and settled for icecream at gelare/ she took a waffle while i took cookies and cream and mango sorbet on a cone! super yummy. and her waffle was super honey coated and sweet. we ended our window shopping at town at 3 and left for the city again.

while waiting for the yellow cat to catch it into the city again, mummy got high ( from eating dark chocolate icecream and she made me high too!) we sat by the pavement (while waiting for the bus, 8 mintues HAHA. i still recall since she dared me to press that button that tells you the extimated time of arrival but it was a stupid function installed since you could read it from the display screen. i pressed it - SHE DARED ME TO. i did. everyone stared at me. as though i was stupid enough not being able to read. haha;D we laughed so hard that even passerbys thought we were crazy.

michelle! im so goin

g to strangle you for making me run all the way to that fourth bus stop. ( when we could actually take the six bus stop which we just ran past) her reason: oh i didnt see that bus stop. ooo wow! that helps;D and even on the bus. she made me think that we were going to stop at the seventeen stop when instead it was the first stop. she made me anticipate for the stop and i kept asking her constantly are we there yet? i feel so gulible. im not going to trust you again HA. and i cant believed i listened to you on where we were stopping! and whats worse was when you asked me to try to take out the black tag on the scarf when it was only possible with a scissors. i actually listened to her and spent the next few mintues trying to pull out the black tag. aghhh! i was like 'why am i even doing this? i shouldnt be doing something so stupid i mean not without a scissors. aggh! i cant believe you made me do it.

we got lost in the city trying to find the city library ( but its closed on a saturdays) instead we ended up wandering at the kangaroo fountain. nice kangaroo statues. i want to take pictures there next. ooo and the big dominant make kangaroo had 'balls' there. i mean it. well, any smart person would have seen it. for me, it would have been the first thing you see since my height is 'that tall' you could say it was at eye level. not my fault that it was the first thing i saw when mummy saw its head first. she's tall. im not. wait! im not short! im tall!

went back into the city to grab some leaflets for the city for my aunt. tried to look for headphones for my ipod. my earphones had their wires snapped and i cant listen to them now. oh man! and somehow they dont seem to sell them here. oh wells. we stopped by picadilly arcade once more and went into the roc candy store! we took samples to eat. this time we got the purple ones! super sweet. i think if im going to the city anytime again. the roc candy store at picadilly arcade would be my first stop.

left the city by 5 since most of the shops closed by then. we went back to the city busport to catch our buses back home. but before that since we had half an hour to kill. we sat down and took loads of random pictures and we were laughing so loudly from where we sat. gosh. mummy got high then. haha;D the chocolate addiction got me too. ahha;D eating sweet stuff makes me high!

the day's short. oh shucks. but i had fun. ooo. sunday, my mugging day for maths and accounts test. oh wells. thats just life i guess.

Friday, June 08, 2007 7:38 PM

8th june 2007

Day fifty six.

thank god its friday again. i love the weekends other than the very fact that i have to study again for upcoming tests next week. though this week was shorter by just a sday because monday was a public holiday well, it still seemed like your usual 5 day week school.

it rained today. very heavily. and i was lucky not to get caught in the showers. it would have been really bad if i had been drenched by the huge downpour. its weird though because the sudden downpour that seemed so fierce then with rain hitting down against the panels of the library windows had only lasted like a mere 10 minutes before it ceased its being. well, it was really no joke. i was pretty much glad i was in the shelter and warmth of the library while it rained so heavily outside.

chemistry was empty without francis there to scratch his head no more. ( i saw him today after maths class and waved my chemistry book in his face! and he was like 'no no no, dont show it to me!' ) cory didnt come as usual and i was glad mummy moved up with gerry beside me! chemistry class is shrinking. practically shrinking! because class was a whole two hour and my attention span is that limited, me and michelle ended up taking pics under the table with my phone and we bluetooth her pics over to my phone. (at this point of time- well frank wasnt really teaching much either)

nike versus converse (and unfortunately its pink versus green)

two whole hour break of nothing since i didnt take elacs then. and mummy had classes in the library too! haha;D naughty girl. she came out of class with some others to hansg around the library stating that they were doing research wow! mummy came and talked with me the whole time. and shayma was real good. he went to watch a movie on the video computers by the sides. not bad!

lunch was cool. i have to take notice of which seat i take the next. (aileen you too!) haha;D lunches are getting super weird and cool with all the random gossips we have at the table. haha;D scandalous stuff going about. even LP and me arent spared. haha;D

Thursday, June 07, 2007 8:50 PM

7th june 2007
Day fifty five.

and i just realised. in just a month's time, i'll be sitting for my exams and charmaine's coming over for studies. in just a month- if you look back on the time ive been here. well i can safely say that a month passes really fast here. not kidding. it was just like last week i was struggling with school and adjustment to friends and classes. but now, everything seems all fine and im glad.
apples. you should start eating one everyday. no kidding. it helps! im a perfect example of an experiment to deal with apples. you know the theory on 'eating an apple a day keeps the doctor away?' well. i, amanda, am going to test out this hypothesis. so far. its been accurate- other than the very fact that i did catch a cold once here but hey, the bottom line is i didnt visit the doctor. so yeah! you ought to start eating your apples everyday. (now aileen- you get why i bring apples to school everyday?) and september you still scare me when you can actually guess the brand of the apples just by looking at its shade and size.

this was taken outside economics class;D right after i burst out laughing from his stupid video i let LP see on my phone. ha it never fails to tickle me.

i had two presentations today. one was economic analysis presentaion and the other was english tutorial presentaion, both lasting 3 minutes.

economic presentation was cool- i was really lucky to have it delayed by stuart for like 3 times in a row ( reason being no time and he wants to give his upmost attention to my presentation. how nice!) so when i was supposed to present like last week i only did it this week. the presentation lasted longer than i expected- i really didnt know i added so much detail into it. ( and francis! you kept laughing throughout it. i had to look away from you to stop myself from bursting into great laughter. you meano!)

francis, my chemistry buddy. well he used to before he dropped chemistry to focus on his economics. ive got one less buddy in chemistry scratching his head in trying to solve chemical calculations and trying to understand frank's teaching and all. one less buddy to rush to econs class after chemistry for those times we were let off chemistry late and one less buddy to listen to songs on his phone. i shall be nice and make you regret dropping chemistry- say you love chemistry will you? i shall pop myself in front of you in school and wave the chemistry book in front of your face or purposely study chemistry in the library with my ipod on while youre having elacs classes. HAHA;D im so nice;D smirks.

well francis aint the only one dropping his subject. no kidding- we've had many who dropped economics because they couldnt keep up with macroencomics. im not sure i can either. im still trying just like everyone else who is left of the class, we're talking of a class size of 25 to a downgraded size of just 17. everyone just wants to focus on the subjects they require for uni studies while im still taking 5 subjects till now.

shrek three is out today. well yeah! i get it. i heard back home- it came out earlier. hmmf! unfair well im gonna watch it soon! haha;D i like the bits on small litttle shrek offspring thats gonna come out soon either in this or shrek 4 if theres a possibility of one. i cant believe i havent watch spiderman 3 and pirates of the carribean 3 yet! im so outdated. aggh;D

Monday, June 04, 2007 8:38 PM

4 june 2006

Day fifty two.

foundation day holiday. whoots whoots. i love my weekend so much! having a four day weekend break is like any students' dream come true. i spent the last of my long weekend at carousel today watching a movie, the messengers.

so sorry chris;D i made you wait for me like two hours plus at carousel, without much to do either since all the shops were closed on a public holiday (its different here- when its a public holiday, everyone goes for a holiday even shop owners. thank goodness, the transport personnel dont go on leave. i cant imagine not going out on a public holiday) in spore, you know how everyone wants to work especially so on a public holidays? why. because you get a double pay. its the incentive to work.

every single shop was closed except for the eateries near the cinemas- the cinemas still open on a public holiday. thank god! the funny thing is- theres even barricades that fenced off the paths to the shops. those barricades that you see at street festivals to keep the crowds out of the streets. you get what i mean.

the show started at three. we grabbed a quick lunch at one of the asian eateries. chris, though i didnt let you pay for this meal- you'll be treating me soon! lunch was fun;D crapped a lot throughout before the show started and we made it a point to get to the cinemas early (becaause of my stupid habit of always being late of a movie-dont ask. but im always somehow late for every movie). chris paid for the tickets. i bought the drinks. (once again, i wont let you pay for the drinks! HAHA. )

i dont get why guys have to pay everything.i mean whats the mentality that a guy has to pay for everything if he goes out with a girl. if thats the case- i really pity their parents pockets. well, if the guy works for his own career, then i wont mind him spending- its his money anyway. chris wanted to pay for the drinks too, and i was like 'i dont care! im paying for the drinks. you paid enough le. you can pay for my tickets (smirks)!' and he didnt let it rest there. 'does it feel very weird if a girl pays?' he agreed. i still dont get why guys have to do the spending all the time.

the movie was great, other than the whole fact that i covered my eyes and screamed like a few times throughout the whole movie. okay, i know i havent really grown up as yet. i may be 17 but i still think like a 14 year old. dont blame me if i dont like gore or blood. and yes, i do get scared of freaky stuff. im learning to watch them already- give me credit for that!

the screaming part well- it was sudden. and i guess it shocked chris pretty much too. HAHA. i really miss the last time i went out with my juniors to watch the stranger (dorcas, kellylow and honey) wow! guys if you remembered thw whole cinema screamed at one part and we all started laughing right after that part even though we pretty much screamed too. haha;D thats the best part about watching scary movies in cinemas. (and dorcas- i still recalled we sqeezed kelly low's outer t-shirt so tightly and even fought for her jacket to cover our eyes.) hey i could scream as much as i wanted since there was only 7 people in the whole cinema. im not kidding. (though i kind of like the fact that you get free seating in all cinemas) that im not kidding. like theres no such thing as seat numbers here.

ps: the best part is you can watch one movie and walk out after the movie and go into the next theatre and watch another without paying since you enter in and out through the same exit and entrance- good huh. okay. you didnt hear this from me.promise. pinky swear!

see the great difference? if you were smart enough

which i hope you are. the one on the left was taken during autumn and the other was during winter.

major difference since all the leaves have fallen and have piled up on the sidewalks. to put it crudely, the trees are all 'naked' now. though its fun to rustle the leaves when you walk past them,

you get bored after a while.

after the movie. we went back home since there wasnt much to do either since all the shops were closed. so we both walked to the bus stop to catch our buses. and i missed my bus! thats not the best part. the best part is... the next bus arrives in only an hour later. well thats perth's transport for you. you wont want to miss a bus- if not it just means waiting out in the cold for another hour till the next arrives. chris agreed to wait for my bus to arrive, but i didnt want him to so he went off first. thats picture on the left is pretty much the 5.10pm sun setting. no kidding. when its around 6pm, the sky gets dark already.

as i got off the bus, i couldnt expain how much i shivered out on the walk home. it was really cold. so much for the hot sun. wait it wasnt that all hot at all. there was wind blowing. well it was dark and all and the cool thing was- there was still people playing tennis out in the courts at the park area. like as though im not cold enough.

breathing in the cold still air was so difficult- it felt like youre fighting for every last bit of air that your lungs can take in. its like expanding your lungs after every exhal was so painful to force yourself to take in one more breath of air. and walking so fast in the cold with the thought of getting home as fast as you could to shield away from the cold didnt help much. because, it only made you breath in deeper. and every breath i took- i felt like i was wheezing. but all of that pain stopped as i stopped dead in my tracks and looked up at the skies. a clear blue night sky. one you cant explain with all the stars out. i thank the lord for the creation of stars. its really a wonder when you stand there at the sidewalk in admiration of his wonders. all the pain, all the tiredness from walking, and all the wheezing stopped still there and then. you just feel like reaching your arms out in the hope of grabbing some stars to place them in a bottle and put them beside your bed to admire the whole night. star gazing would be one of the things i'll write down on my list of things to do when i grow up. its one thing- you cant miss out!

Sunday, June 03, 2007 4:09 PM

3rd june 2007

Day fifty one.

based on the church's calendar of events, well todays the feast of the HOLY TRINTY. the archbishop of perth celebrated mass with the pashioners here at st paul and john's church and there was even a morning tea held with him after the last mass on sunday. basically, the archbishop makes his rounds around all the churches in perth in the second half of the year to check on how the churches are doing and the bond the churches together through one faith. mass was as usual just a little packed due to the large crowd for that mass.

i came back after mass, ate cupnoodles for lunch like i do every sunday and then mugged for maths, i actually survived two hours on a swhole topic of maths. thats awesome- other than the frequent breaks i took which was scurrying for biscuits to munch on because i was hungry or just pure bored that my mouth wasnt doing any work well my brain thought.

london court. awesome place. everything here is sooo london-ish (if there is such an english word in the dictionary to describe the atmosphere and feel of the whole place. basically, its just a small alley way no bigger than your average walking streets down the city. and london court is sealed off the rest of the surrondings of the city with tall walls that image those of a castle. everything sold here is all london antiques and food. so its just a piece of london in perth city. neat huh?

Saturday, June 02, 2007 10:04 PM

2nd june 2007

Day fifty.

i went to the city today! okay i know i sound totally hysterical and all. but it was really fun to get lost in the city and habour town. i mean if youre on your own, thats scary, but with friends. thats funny;D (dorcas, i still remember being lost with you in town, orchard road- i miss taking pics with the map and being totally stupid with you in finding our way) well the city here aint as big as compared to orchard town back home. in orchard, well one you can get lost (i mean it!) and second you need at least two days to maximum three to tour every last shop in town. perth city is different. everything here is small. the town area mostly occupied by office buildings has only a small part of the city allocated for shops. but anyway still, it was fun walking through all the lanes and loops. when the bus we took entered the city, wow i really miss singapore's high rise buildings- our offices are a whole lot nicer than theirs. but it was a great feeling once again to feel so small in the presence of these tall monsters. you feel like a dwarf just standing below one of those builings. (other than the fact that im just 154cm tall against a building like several metres tall) but thats not the point. i feel the sucess of the country's growth is all based on how magnificent its buildings are and how the city is constructed as.

thanks mummy and shin yun for bringing me around the city and harbour town. whoot whoots! really fun! though the day felt short because ALL THE SHOPS CLOSE BY 5PM. but i had great fun, well a hell lot of fun.

it was really surprising that perth city even had bubble tea to start off with- and i thought the trend died down in spore a long time ago when you start seeing all the potential bubble tea shops cutting down their prices to keep up with competitiveness and soon everyone just starts closing down. but here thats a different story, well it seems to be a fab. everyone loves it. i do, they do, everyone does. i bought passionfruit ice blended with rainbow jelly. i finally settled for that topping after spending like 3 minutes at the front counter staring at the different types of toppings they had ( from sagos to jelly to what else who knows)

roc candy now this is something you can definately eye candy about. and yes!

its number one on my list of things to eye candy on. ohh! if you havent tried one out, remind me to buy back some the next i return. its this really sweet hard candy that you can spend all day ( well maybe not) sucking on. and theres cute pictures on them too! sorry michelle you didnt get to see them make the candy. me and shin yun were really lucky we got there in time and even stole some to taste! i thank the mister in front of us who asked the sales assistant for some for tasting- though she kind of disagreed at first but later changed her mind. she gave them a few blue. 'oh could i have some pink too?' (i was like; ' whoah! youre good! ask her for the yellow one too!' ) but sadly he didnt. ha but im glad he did. cos thats where we stole them from. michelle came back in time to only see them cut up the long candy into bits.

pretzel. three words. nothing tastes better! it was lunch but it was filling. im going to be a bit more adventureous the next. i'll try the cheese and pepperioni instead of just salted.

just look at the big portion i had going into my mouth! im a glutton! smirks;D

we did a LOT of walking about. they showed me around the whole city and all the buses you catch in the city that goes to harbour town. surprisingly, they call them red, blue and yellow cats. dont ask why cats- i have not figured it out as yet. but yeah, all the buses in the city are guess what? FREE. so im in for that! well dont blame me, all sporeans think like that. its a born trait mark. wait, mom dad dont get me wrong, i didnt get that kiasuism from you guys. haha;D anything thats free- ohhh that i like! smirks;D did i say i like treats too! (chris you owe me a treat soon:D) and another funny thing about we sporeans, we love taking pics in the washrooms when in fact there are a whole lot more nice scenic places outside your average flushing systems.

we got unto the yellow cat and went to harbour town to meet shayma and nicole there. shopped a while before the shops closed- we nearly spent like half an hour at surf city finding clothes to wear. everything was going at half price. not bad a bargain! they made me look stupid. i tried on two sleeveless shirts which made me look so young. thanks i look young enough already. everyone here thinks im 14 when im already 17. thats like a 3 years discount my age. i would appreciate that when im older haha. please say i look 35 when in fact im 40.

caught a bus back by 6, by then it was pitch black dark ( your average 10pm) not kidding in autumn the day sets early and rises way early. i have to get used to the whole changes;D i reached back home and ate my dinner (thanks for keeping it for me)well, i didnt buy anything on this trip. but i will the next, and there will be a next. haha;D cheers to my mummy, shin yun and all for today. i love you guys!

street perfromances or street buskering is VERY common here in perth. well take up any talent and show it to the crowd.

ps: you get change for it. i should try that for my guitar- a little extra cash in my pockets wouldnt hurt.;D