Thursday, June 14, 2007 8:16 PM
8 years old. i am intimidated by a mere eight year old kid.everyone in this family is afraid of him. everyone gives in to his word. everyone is so scared to anger him. something just aint right in the family when even the eldest of the family has to give in to a young kid's squealing and tantrums.
im am not kidding. me,
a seventeen year old is intimidated by a kid two times younger than me. not to mention that he's much shorter than me too. but yes, i fear i am afraid of him. i live in fear every single day that i live here. i cant say ive gotten used to his tantrums which everyone else in the family have been used to for eight years already.
'where's MY pen!' his voice boomed out throughout the whole house.
'who took MY pen?'
'MUMMY. i cant find my damm bloodly pen!'
'i know i left it here. SOMEONE must have taken it!'
'maybe you left it on the table there while you were studying?'
she assurred him as he went back to the study to check.
'MUMMY! its not there.'
DID YOU TAKE IT!
he goes around asking everyone in the family. even i was not spared.
there i was at the dinner table eating my late dinner after coming back late from school. i was tired after a long day out in college and i didnt need someone rushing up to me, and screaming in my ear, yelling where his pen went.
'WHERE IS (he dragged on his 'is') MY PEN?
it sounded kind of like a bit of yelling but very much like how an officer would interrogate someone guilty.
except. i wasnt guilty of anything and yet i got yelled at.
'i dont know where your pen is.'
'I DONT CARE! WHERE IS MY PEN.'
'i really dont know where your pen is.'
'WHERE'S MY PEN. i know you took my pen!'
he asked me again on the same question and i answered him the same, till even i got tired. but it seemed to him as though he was enjoying every moment of making me feel small by his continuous interrogation. he just needed to blame someone for his missing pen.
and that person was me.
at that point of time, i got so tired of his persistent blames on me, that i lost my cool too. i didnt do anything wrong and yet i was blamed and accused. it felt like an even worst punishment than doing something wrong.
'you HAD BETTER TELL ME where my pen is RIGHT NOW!'
'i have already told you countless times. i have no idea where you misplaced your pen.
i just came home from school and right after i put my bags down i came out to have dinner. i didnt touch your pen at all ever since i came home.'
'so how would i know where you placed it?'
'jason. now dont disturb amanda from her dinner'
she came out just to save my dinner in time. well not really so since i had lost my appetite right after that. the fact that i got accused for something i didnt do didnt help much with digestion.
the only difference was that he yelled and persistently accused me than he did for the rest just because i was new and therefore a great victim.
this isnt the very first encounter. ive had loads others. this was just one of the worst. the rest were kind of minor like verbal abuses to put you down or even something physical abuse. dont get me wrong, the physical abuse that im referring to isnt to that extent. in this case, its just slapping you on your arms when he doesnt get his way or sometimes taking his pen to poke/stab you in your back.
though he's been warned by his mom not to do that again. his reply is all the same.
'i dont care! i can do whatever i want!' the conversation just ends there. she does nothing else to correct him.
exchanges of verbal abuse is so very common in this household. i guess im not used to it since ive been taught since young not to talk back to elders. ive got a few slaps from my own mom for talking back to her or even asking her to 'shut up' and im glad she did. i really am. it has taught me to respect my elders, something of which is not seen here in this household.
words like fuck, idiot, bastard, stupid, fatty, dammit and what else more i cant remember.
his favourite phrase: youre so stupid, you stupid fucking idiot!
he scolds his elders those words in this house. something of which i cant imagine why they still can copmprehend. its even more amazing when he theatens them through words to get his ways. even more so, sometimes he uses his fork and holds it in a threatening way that it is so close to his dad's eye to the attempt of poking it right in. and no one gives a care. no one dares to go against his wishes. not even me.
i assume only that the main reason for his acts of violence in this household is due to the fact that in school. its the other way around. he's the victim to all abuses of words and even physical pushes by other kids. for the main fact that he hardly speaks up in school and many find him weird. everyone in school takes advantage of his quiet nature and bullies him. however, at home, he seems like a different person all together. he takes on the role of the bully and threatens everyone in this household to listen to him. he takes it out on those who are weaker than him just because in school, he's the weakest link.
i need to get a pair of earmuffs to block out all of his negative words. it hurts when you take it seriously. but i guess i got over it. though it demoralises you sometimes. HAHA. charmaine, all i can say is get yourself used to life around here.
