Wednesday, July 11, 2007 6:35 PM
10th july 2007Day eighty eight.
my life just hung by that stream of thread. that's how thin my chances were. i was lucky enough to escape this once. but life may not be that 'kind' on me anymore. in any way, i thank my lucky stars up there for watching over me. i still want to come back home. at least even to see everyone one last time.
this incident has shown me how short life has been for all those who dont cherish it enough. it happened on the 10th july 2007 at approximately 1.41pm. it didnt have to happen at all if not for the whole detour that the bus had to take because of the plumbing. the bus that i was on tried to make a right turn into a avennue before a car came intersecting it on the narrow road. there was a huge collision. the bus just ramped the small white car into the brick wall of a neighbouring house. the front bumper of the car went straight in. the driver of the car staggered out unhurt but her face shocked and legs trembling. no one wanted it to happen. the rest of us went in for a jerk bump from the impact of the collision. there were only the three of us, all kids. the bus driver got out immediately and went to check on the other driver. everyone from the nearby house came rushing out from the sound of the collision. soon after, they brought out a chair and a glass of water for the other driver. she just sat there, still trembling from the impact. it was almost a near death experience for everyone especially her. unscathed and unharmed, her emotions ran high.
the two other passengers in the bus took out their phones to call their parents to tell them they were alright and that they were going to run late. i just sat there, with my headphones still blasting music into my ears. i remembered. i didnt have anyone to call at all.
after our details got taken down for further investigations, the bus left leaving me all alone in a place i have no whereabouts to. the rest had a lift home somehow. everyone just disappeared except for the memebers of the family still trying to calm the lady down. children rushing in and out of the house. the whole scene was still in a state of chaos. there i was standing by the street stand, unfamiliar sights and houses around me. i took out my phone.
i dialed the first number that came to mind. my mum's handphone. wishing that she'll pick it up so at least i could hear her voice. her comfort that always made me feel at ease even at times like this. she didnt answer. the dial tone just kept ringing. no one picked up from the other side. i let it ring on for another 2 mintues. i called the house next hoping that at least my sister would have picked it up, i needed to tell her that i was going to be late home and that i couldnt buy her stuff for her then. after another 2 minutes of waiting, someone picked up. it was her. my gosh, i would have hugged myself then. the last call i made was to my aunt to let her i was fine and that i needed a lift home. 30 minutes. that was what she told me.
those 30 mintues were the longest wait of my life. i was emotionally just shocked by the crash. i needed someone to hold me close to tell me everything was going to be alright. i needed someone to tell me just then that i was lucky to have escaped unhurt. my legs were still trembling hard. i needed to sit down. the afternoon sun wasnt merciful at all. i sat out in the open on the grass, suntanning if you must, but i was trying to make myself obvious. the sun was so hot it felt like it burned through your jeans. i felt like i was running a fever. another 20 mintues more. time wasnt flying as fast as i expected.
imagine this. you know how someone's curses can actually have an effect on your life? well, i do admit at that point i was pondering over jason's crude remarks. well, if he really wanted me to die, i just had this opportunity that just merely missed taking my life with it. now, im just glad i got to live another day longer, to see the sun rise yet another day more.
i lost hours for studying because of this whole accident. i was still shaken even after i came home. emotionally shaken. i didnt speak much. i kept to myself when my sister asked what happened. i didnt want to recall on anything. after lunch i went back to studying. ive lost too much time. not on a day when i had to study for two tests. and two majors at that, applicable maths and chemistry. i was putting pressure on myself to study hard. it was the kind of pressure that i couldnt handle for this once.
i couldnt study at all. i kept seeing scenes of the whole accident. i was panicking and trembling all at the same time. i was desperate for time. i needed time to stop for me. not even past the second page of the chemistry book. i broke down. i couldnt take it in.
i took a bath to wipe my tears away. crying in the showers seemed so naturally when you dont even feel any teardrop against your skin as they roll down your cheeks. a hot bath against the cold damp tears.
i couldnt return to studying. i was drained out. mentally drained and tired from the previous exam economics. charmaine told me to sleep instead. i slept till dinner than i woke up as jason barged right in.
the whole night was spent on maths and half of chemistry. i couldnt stay up anymore. my initial plan was to sleep at ten and wake at three to study till 645am. but i didnt sleep by then. all because of charmaine and her great plan of trying to set up the printer. somehow the damm machine didnt feel like working then, so we had a great 'party' of people coming into our room trying to configure it. i wasted another one hour trying to help her set it up since the last we managed to. we gave up- it didnt want to obey us today.
if there was a worst day in my life. this was one of those days. no kidding. other than my near death experience, i had to struggle with the debt of hours that i had for studying chemistry and maths. the pressure just all built up within. now, im just glad everything is over.
