AMANDA NICOLE
eighteen
taurus
24 april baby
catholic
guitarist
aikidoka
msn-addict
prone to getting high
CRAZIED
tomboy-er
sms/chat lover
JOKER OF THE YEAR
st. anthony's preschool
chij bukit timah
art club
st. theresa's convent
RED CROSS
acjc(three months)
CANOEING/DBOAT
catholic jc
canningcollege
Shopping fan
curtin university
ROWING
swimming
working to earn a living

playing on my guitar;D
searching for tabs online
music
OUTDOORS:D
water sports, CANOEING
mountaineering
camping outdoors
orientation camps!
SHOPPING!
ROWING
movieing with friends
being totally ME
smsing/chat
blogging;D
scouting for eyecandies.
Chocolates
running/crunches
reading for leisure
suntanning<3
SUN SAND SEA.

conquer mount kinabalu
master drums one day
learn guitar tabs ( currently)
to be a rich woman!
grow taller!
learn how to do makeup
travel around the world backpacker style
get back home to singapore!
do well in up in uni exams
ROWING CHAMPIONSHIPS!
hiphop street dancing
the special coffee blend
do something crazy and wild
get my honours!
work hard in both my jobs
throw the old, get the new
be the next AUSTRALIAN IDOL

crumpler bag
rowing championships medals
more eyecandies!
to dye my hair brown/red
my food hunt
workout dumbells
GET AN AWESOME TATTOO
another piercing to go with
new balance dryfit apparel
nike running dryfit tee
splurging on sunglasses
COME BACK HOME!
lesser projects/schoolwork
another jar of jellybeans!
retain my 46kg
running machine
doritos nachos
cadbury icrecream tubs
up my fitness level
to get my HOT abs
to able to carry a scull by myself
get tanner under the sun!

designer   DancingSheep
resources   + +

it's david's last lesson with us. having spent only the past few weeks together going through his first major chapter on carbon chemistry, we've forged a great bond between chemistry, david and the seven of us. i'll miss that great guy and all his weird antics during class sessions. the clicking of his fingers, his use of words in trying to spice the lesson up, his clapping of hands and weird exaggerated actions to emphasize his points.

we'll miss you truck loads! hugs kisses and loads of laughter from all of us!

shayma was trying to act funny. he thought he could impersonate the headless nick of hogwarts
my brother and me did this on the last week at college to remember ourselves in canning college. his name was way above mine ( he's taller and im not)

nike versus converse. pink versus green. the tall take the small. and i shall remain trimphant!

schools out wooohoo!

something i got off the net. it was written by a guy to his girl for their seven month together. i liked it a lot and i wish them both the best in their relationship!

the light shines on your face,
it leaves me in a daze.
your footsteps leaves behind a trace,
i'm having all the craves.

since the day i met you,
my days felt as sweet as dew.
without you,
i have no clue.

time flies
when we're spending it together,
but our love will never die
it'd live on forever.

your smile brings warmness,
to even the chillest places.
there's nothing it can't do,
your love is true

in my dreams
you’re the only girl I see.
your smile that beams
Just like the honey of the bee.

Without her,
My life’s a blur.
There’s no one else that
Can seal my fate,
Just like you do.

The beauty within,
Portrays the sweetness in it.
My love for you will
Always be of zeal.

schools out!and im out to partay before i start mugging like a nerd. it's only two days of going out before im cramming myself at home to study for hours for the semester two exams. other than the occasional trips out for a run or to get myself a cup of mocha from mcCafe down the street, i dont have much of a life.

this is going to be my partner in crime during the next few months whilst im here sitting through my exams.

sorry about it mum. but i love coffee! HAHA i guess i got my dad's genes in me and the coffee hype within also. but i like the taste a lot. the bitterness, the coffee 'rush' or so as i call it since i get high after i drink it and it keeps me up working through the night. dad! let's go do father-daughter stuff like sipping cappo at starbucks or coffeebean back home and making mum make coffee for us! HAHA;D and best of all. stocking the cold freezer section with ice cream tubs of coffee mocha and cappo or even buying nescafe cans of coffee and drinking them cold off the fridge. WOOHOOS.

29th september 2007
Day a hundred and sixty nine.

we patched things up within two days. im glad. thanks brother for helping me out with this. im not losing anymore friendships. this one, im keeping it close. for whats lost within those two days, i found it back again. i guess i got super emo over the last two days then so these words i write arent meant to hurt anymore. i take them all back. i cant change time, neither can i change what ive said, i can only make changes to what ive done. and this: i apologise.

26th september 2007
Day a hundred and sixty six.

this was not how i wanted our friendship to end. well, not like this. it wasnt supposed to turn out like this. i thought by last friday you would have got my hint that i was mad at you. i wanted to simmer down by this week and give you a new start to it. but you did it all over again.

you left temporary scars on me before but now you've left a permanent one thats going to hurt. these temporary ones may go off after a while after the red swelling goes down but this recent one wont ever fade away. you left bruises on my body but this bruise you left today its internal and it's hard to heal it. it hurts so badly. i cry when i try to fight back the feeling of losing our friendship. it shouldnt have turned out this way. i thought you knew better.

last friday was good enough a warning for you. i warned you not to agitate me again. a warning i gave you yet you pay no heed to it. you ignored it and repeated the same mistake again. i used words on you even my mum would disallow it if she heard it coming from my own mouth. words that i have never used on anyone but you. i didnt mean those words, i said it all in a huff. ive tried telling you nicely many times to stop your actions but you didnt listen so i had to resort to using such words. i dont want to remember myself using such words. i dont even want to remember shouting at you. memory hurts. like a knife slowly making its way across your skin sliting only the surface to leave you to slowly bleed.

you had to do it again today after the same happened that very day on friday. i thought you knew your mistake, but yet you didnt. you didnt even feel sorry or repentant over what you did. i feel sorry for you. you lost friends because of the fact you dont realise your mistake long before you lost them. you couldnt put down your pride just once to say the word 'sorry' no wonder they say 'sorry' was just so difficult to say. i get the meaning now.

you have no idea how much force you put into all your tugs. there's always a limit to how much i can take. you thought i could take your abuse. i thought i could till the end but it got overwhelming for me to handle. it got to a point where it hurts. finger marks you left upon my body and bruises or cuts. my knee and hands have bled from struggles with you. you left me broken and discarded.

i left like a toy. one you could just your fun and the next forget and just throw one side. you pulled me like a ragged doll by one arm, it left me with bruise marks of your fingers wrapped around my arms. you slammed me against the walls a couple of times. i was glad i didnt break or dislocate my shoulders. you pushed me one side when you felt like it. you pulled me by the collar of my shirt when i wanted a way out. i felt mistreated by you yet i didnt say a word to anyone. i kept silent. these words have not left my mouth ever since.

i gave you your way. i didnt want to stand in your way. i was scared. scared of you. afraid of what you could do to me. i didnt want anymore bruises. ive had enough from you. i let you on the heater whenever you came into class. i moved to one side only after having you push me against the wall near the door with your shoulder a couple of times. i learn from these experiences. you kick my chair and rest your feet on my chair from the back, i moved my chair in front. you kept disturbing me from joe's lesson with your stupid antics of 'i am bored', i ignored you. somehow it didnt please you to have me ignore you. you just didnt like being ignored. no one does. but you know you can get a bit irrtational at times? ive tried to restrain myself from yelling. i just couldnt today.

i hate myself for yelling at you. i admit i went a bit too far with my words. they were meant to hurt you. rather, it was meant to tell you straight off that i couldnt stand you no longer. i have a limit to how much i can take this bullshit from you. not now anymore. it's been way too long enough i have suffered in silence. i cried not because of you, not because what you did just then hurt me but because i couldnt believe i did what i did at you just then. i shouted at you. i shouted, raised my voice and yelled at a friend. you were the first i did. it didnt feel like me. it felt like i was someone else who couldnt stand you anymore. i hated myself for even talking back to you. i cried because i felt like i was a different person then. i didnt mean to shout or yell back at you. i should have just kept silent about it all just like i've always did for the past few months. i should have just endured it for just another week of school with you.

ive made changes to my life because of you. i havent been going to the international student office (ISO)because you were there most of the times. i left my friends at lunch to eat at my usual spot at the cafeteria when i usually ate at the ISO on a wednesday.i stopped hanging around that place. i didnt want to. everytime i hang around there, i'll be a target for you.

i brought my math books on purpose for you since you wanted to lend them every single maths lesson. the first you asked me if you could borrow my book, i lend you. second i did. but when the lessons went on and you took it for granted i would lend you my books. i still brough them anyway for you. would you think i would weigh my bag down just because of a book i would have brought to school that had of no use to me. you already said my bag was heavy enough and that it weighed my height down. thanks a lot but youre part of the cause i might just get a hunchback in my later years. just because of your carelesses and your disregard to bring your own books, i had to share with my neighbour. have you ever thought about how difficult it was for me and her to share just one book when we were working on different questions? i had to wait for her to flip over the page while she also had to do the same. you took my book away only to have yourself flip open that page to show joe youve got a book in your hands whilst you doodle on your paper or talk away. i was working with her on just one book when we could have both our books. you assumed i would have brought my books to school.what if i didnt? would it land you in deep shit? i brought it never for myself but for you. every maths lesson. the first thing you ask from me is to have my maths book and it was never with a please. it sounded more like a demand if not i'll pinch you kind. i brought it without fail only to have you say thank you by the end of it and after that it was over for you. maths lesson was over so was my kindness. no more. end of story and so came the next maths lesson, the same demand and the same thank you. somehow, you made me think little of the word thank you like it didnt carry much gratitude along with such a word.

just one class and ive suffered enough. ive suffered more bruises in just those months with you than all my years spent in this life. one class and that's all i ask. no more. i hide away from you for fear. you always seem to know i was. you demand that i come to you if not i'll give me 'that' look of unhappiness and sulk. i shook you off that i didnt have anything to talk to you. you said you wanted to talk to me and wanted me there. i disagreed. you got pissed off and wanted to stomp your way across the carpark to me. you gave up and ask why i was in a rush. i gave an excuse/ i had to get away from you somehow. you didnt quite believe me then.

i had michelle to 'protect' me when you were around. she gave me comfort from you. she hid me away from you and made sure i was untouched by you since you wouldnt touch her. but when she wasnt around. you took the opportunity. the times ive been bruise by your hands have all been times when she wasnt around. mostly after chemistry. the rest laughed. i laughed along, it hurt inside but i couldnt show it. it was just a slight cut. everyone saw but yet only one asked me how it was. you asked me if it hurt but yet you didnt apologise. you joke and laugh over my pain when you pressed the wound. as though it didnt hurt enough on my kneecap, you had to make it worse by pinching my arms. those red bruises only left till after lunch.

you didnt know when to end. you didnt know your limit. let me ask you this. do you ever play this rough with any other girls in the college? i doubt so. am i the only one you handled that hard? i think so. because everyone else to you looked like they were mature enough whilst i didnt. so you had to pick on me. it was bad enough i was one of the youngest in the school with you and also the shortest at that. you took full advantage that i was always laughing and cheery at heart that i wouldnt blame you. i have feelings too just like anyone else had. i hurt when you do all those to me. i kept it one side in my heart while you had your fun. everyone was having fun, i didnt want to wreck it. i hate getting angry.

everytime i yelled at you to stop it, you just wouldnt. instead, you just pulled further. that's what happened today. you ignored all my screams and yells. i told you to stop yet you didnt. shayma pleaded you to stop it also. he saw how i didnt like it and that it was pain for me. you didnt listen/.it seemed like fun to you when you saw me yelping in pain from the tug of my hair. my screams seemed to feed into your interest to tug further. does it really make you feel happier to see me suffer at your hands? if so, have you had enough? you pulled hard and tighten your grip around my hair. the last you did on that friday, i suffered a neck strain from the impact of my head being jerked backwards hard and too sudden. i couldnt even rest my head on one shoulder. that impact left me paralysed for a day because of that strain. i couldnt forgive you that weekend. i wanted to but it was so hard. you didnt even say a word of sorry or asked how i was after i shouted back at you. dont make me shout again. i dont wish to change into a different me. one whom i dont even know to being with. youre turning me into someone i dont even know at all.

because of you, im afraid to keep long hair already. ive made my plans to have my hair cut shorter than you would have expected right after im back home and i dont even want to meet up with you ever again. ive skipped maths classes recently to have you off my back and im going to do it again on friday's class. youve hurt me so many times after time and time again and i forgot about it. i prayed over everything else and yet i never prayed for us.

where did we go wrong? was it your misconception that i would handle everything in my stride and because of the fact that i looked cheery on my exterior? or was it simply my fault all from the start for letting you have your way when i should have been firm with you? i would have chosen the latter. it was clearly my mistake right from the start. i shouldnt have been too soft. i didnt want to lose a friend like you from the start. but was our friendship even worth its credit rating of what everyone sees from the outside?

is this even called friendship from the start? i thought it was only to have myself wronged. i didnt know friends hurt one another or even to have one at the disadvantage at the other's expense. is this your idea of fun? hurting me? i hate to say this but i have never lost a friend before and yorue the first im losing. you were long gone from me since the last straw that i took from you. it felt like out friendship lasted no longer than 5 months. i gave up that friday. i cant bother myself thinking of how i could resolve this friendship since you wanted no say in it. you didnt ask if i was alright that day when i raised my voice at you. you just couldnt be bothered. well, i cant be bothered either with this friendship if you wont just put down your pride for just once and treat me like a human and not just your ragdoll. is having just that tinge of fairness from you that difficult? well you wouldnt see me the same way you would with others. i was just at your beck and call, when you left like beating me up, you'll come and find me and when you didnt, you hung out with the rest. i feel disregarded in this friendship.

our paths shouldnt have crossed in the first place. it wasnt supposed to have until that faithful day. i wouldnt have met you if not for that day after chemistry classes. i havent seen you around in school before till that day i got introduced to you. we wouldnt have met if not for the both of us being at the wrong place at the wrong time. it just wasnt meant to be.

and now, im left with half a weeks more till we end school. i doubt this friendship would mend itself in these two days i have left. on both days, im not going to meet up with you or either way. so, it's been nice meeting you for the past five months. for those times we did actually laugh, thank you but i cant carry on with this friendship, it's just too hard for me. i wish i could but i cant. im sorry. i hope youre the first and the last friend im giving up on and that we'll both move on with our lives. i would try to. i'll forgive you when time has healed my wounds.

memory hurts. i dont wish to remember. my eyes are bloodshot and rheumy from all that crying. my heart hurts from all the wrenched up feelings ive kept mum about. youre the last i wish to forget. after this, im moving on with life. time will heal those wounds. give me some time.

we went for a run on what seemed like a very hot day. i wanted to after school on a friday. i ended at three so there was still time to kill right after school for an evening run around the estate. the weather was ncie, it was both hot and cold from the sun shining down and the cold winds blowing.

i have canoeing training before i came here to thank for. it was a good push. 5 km every land training and an extra 6 km in the waters. my stamina hasnt droppped by then. i was still running good.

we couldnt run as far as we wanted to. dusk was setting and the sun was fading out into the darkness so we had to turn back for home. i miss the freedom of sweating out in the sun.

25th september 2007
Day a hundred and sixty five.

the bus better come if not i'll take it out on you, isn't that what big brothers do? i made him wait for me at the other bus stop after he had taken the bus back. we were supposed to finish class at the same time. he got off earlier, claiming he finished the test, while i was still struggling, he left the room grinning. wipe that stupid smirk on your face. he seemed to tell me something just before he left class, I took no notice. was he going to wait up for me? I rushed my work and tried to wrap up some figures. it didn’t work with john bugging us that we had only up till 3.15 to finish up the rest since the other class had to come in. my figures didn’t add up. I lost some points and couldn’t construct the rest of the ledgers. So much for an open book test when they set it so tough and there he can just walk out of class smiling. Weird.

i was on the other side of the road when he left in his bus. beep. i got his sms.

haha. you missed the bus;D

i thought so. he boarded that bus. there i was, left deserted and all alone, freezing out in the cold by the bus stop, left behind by someone who claimed that we ought to get to know each other within 6.7 hours. so much for fate. if he was smart enough, ( of which i doubt) HAHA he would have got down the bus then or press the bell for the next stop or even try the impossible, ask the driver to wait up.

the winds were strong. i was cold and stiff frozen to the bones. i smsed him back.

GET DOWN NOW.

before he could reply, i called him. and all he could do was to smile on the other side of the conversation. he was on the verge of breaking into a wide grin. he answered on the other side. yes? get off your bus now! he asked why ( dont give me that pitiful look) it doesnt work with me. not when youre a guy. i whined on the other side. he gave up. do you want me to wait for you at the next bus stop when the bus stops? YES.

okay, i got down from my bus.

OMG YOU DID? wow, pigs could fly today. you so NICE.

i'll personally make sure you'll be in santa's good books and that he'll give you a BIG FAT present on christmas.

oh whatever. the fact is that i have already got down.

your bus had better come soon. im freezing out in the cold.

guess what? i doubt it's anytime soon. HEY im freezing out also.

the bus came after what seemed like an eternity. fine. it was just 15 minutes but 15 mintues freezing out in the cold was longer than i expected. the bus felt so warm. i wonder how he's coping on the other side. after a few bus stops or so later, he waved the bus. i regretted making him wait up for me. it was bad of me, really bad. ( slaps self) he stood in front of the opening doors all shaken and frozen from the cold poor thing. i said at the back, laughing my heads off. he looked so small when he huddles his jacket close to his body.

although it was just 25minutes on the bus, it felt longer than it was. it was funny. we kept harping on the topic of us being fat. he said i called him fat ( over no circumstances did i call you fat, it's just chubbier.) even my friends call me chubbier since i came, which sucks totally since i wanted to remain the same. it was bad. he had fats, i had bubblies. thick chunky ones that hang low from all areas i wish not to probe further into. well you get the picture. im fat.

he said i made crave for macs in the afternoon. someone's fat and still eating fast food. he said he didnt care a thing of whether i said he was fat or what. hooray;D i manage to tempt him by recess on my food ( french fries ) which was an accomplishment. he claimed mine was fattening. i wanted to share it with him, you know, share the risks of getting fatter just as good things should be shared., so if you do happen to have any chocolates on hand, share it with me, i really dont mine taking the risk with you.

well youre at macs, make sure you get yourself a big super sized meal to go along. and then on saturday, you have a personal appointment with amanda for a run along south street from my place to yours. im sure, all those calories you put up from your meal would be burnt by then;D

i know its bad. but i really feel like ponning classes for the last week. since the teachers were almost finishing the chapters for the core units. i dont wanna have to stay till 5 on wednesday and even thursay since they werent going to do much in those hours either. i shouldbe going back home to start on my revision. HAHA. i agree. everyone's doing the same thing. i just influenced to do the same. should i?

24th september 2007
Day a hundred and sixty four.

22nd september 2007
Day a hundred and sixty two.

just something i came across in an email. im glad i havent clean up all my english yet if not i wouldnt have a clue about it.

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again back to 1.

This was what he came up with .

1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run so fast until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.

So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

i went early for accounting today. class usually starts at 930am but since there was extra tutorial lessons before that. i decided to go since i had two people dragging me out of bed early in the morning when the bed felt all so nice to laze about that morning. i was really tempted to just sms hanxian that i wasnt coming early to lend my economics notes to him and that i'll lend it to him later on. my sister dragged me out of bed with those pitiful pair of eyes of hers: come to school with me will you?

john was all serious about us studying hard for accounts. he wanted us to be just like the camelite nuns and trappist priests who vowed never to talk. in his sense of the word, no omong kosong ( or whatever how you spelt it) he started to seperate the fishmongers in the class because they gossip a lot among them selves. and john's the only teacher who ever throws past year exam papers at you almost every other week. i have like a whole stack of accounting past year questions that have yet to be done and here i am blogging. oh wells.

stuarts class was as usual: boring. we had our research assignment test today. for 70 minutes to write up a 45 marked essay is seriously not enough time. i swear. oh wait, i cant swear. fine i promise. everyone said it was tough. with just a notes page of an allowed 150 words and two diagrams, i could only write out the main idea on the notes page, leaving the rest of my mind to build up on it during the duration of the test. it was tough. when all you want to, is to write out abbreviated names of words but yet you cant since it was an essay so everything had to be in full sentences and words. i cant remember how many times i had to write in full the term: goods and services when i use to write out g/s.

we had time to kill after the test. he was mean. he made me do my presentation when i wasnt even ready to do it yet. there was just me and francis, and "best of all"
we had the same article. gosh! i have a competitor. ladies first. aggh why me? cant he go first? so i did mine before he did. it was terrible i was choking on every alternate word. they seem to just get stuck while trying to come out of my mouth.

i was tired out by the end of his class and i still english to deal with. john allowed us to read our notes out in the sun by the tables since the rest were in class doing the college questionnaire. the sun's nice today. i dont get why i have to be so stupid as to wear long jeans today and short pants the day before when the winds were bad enough to blow you away. silly me.

we went back to class after spending like 1/2 hour out in the sun reading. i played with darryl's specs. i look nerdy in those reading glasses. we tried to burn things with the focus of the light rays onto the grass. we ended up in failure.

20th september 2007
Day a hundred and sixty.


schools out in a week's time! while everyone else is celebrating the term's break, i would be studying with the rest for the final year college exams and the TEE/ foundation we are supposed to take by the end of the year.


with only weeks to spare before the exams. three more weeks to the final college exams, six more weeks to my TEE and eight more weeks till i come home. now that's if i book an earlier scheduled flight back home. from months when i started, it seemed like an awful long time before i came back home and now i have ony weeks left till im home with everyone else. im excited, hell i am. exams are like one part of me waiting to get over with, the coming back home part takes the most priority. im itchy to pack my bags and leave here soon. soon amanda, soon.


three more weeks and i'll be studying hard ( i think im turning into a mugger/nerd by the end of my exams) just like what hanxian says, he'll be a nerd in bad boy's pants, i'll do the same. i wouldnt underrmine my looks and style just for exams. equally, i'll look my best for the exams. everyone says good impressions count ( that includes coming early for papers) HAHA.


so my holidays arent so free afterall, our teachers were nice enough to plan extra tutorial classes for us during the term's break. thank you! whatever. aggh;(this is how revision goes. four hours to one subject that's eight in the morning to about 1230 pm in the late afternoon. an hours break for lunch till 130pm. and classes begin, a different subject in the afternoon till 520pm. that's crazt. yes, please say it again. im doomed. we all are.


you know how you try to tell animals something and they just dont get you? well i had one experience. i tried telling a pig to return my hairclips that 'it' snatched off my hair. it didnt listen. i guess you cant blame them since they speak a totally different language to ours. we're defined, they are just animals with no brians. THANK YOU. he wouldnt hand me back my clips after i threatened to take his keys away. he just wouldnt listen. now how do you talk things/ matters out with a pig? you use force.


all the way from the chemistry labs, we dragged each other along the corridors, my left hand in his pocket trying to fish out my pin while he dragged me along, one feet after another. with one hand in the same pocket as my hand, he tried to pull my fingers out. i wouldnt budge. i think we looked crazy laughing along the corridors. it was sick in a way with my hand in his pocket. but he wouldnt get me my hairclip back. there were times i felt the black metal amist his fingers but he just swirled away, pulling my body to follow with the momentum. he walked towards a pole with our hands in between and i got tangled by the stupid pole. i practically knocked myself out. HAHA. i settled for the keys in his pocket since he didnt want to return my clip back.

three clips. i came over to perth with six clips and right now, im left with two only. the missing ones, there's only one person to take the blame for all the times he's been at my hair, yes that stupid piggy doesnt know when to stop. now i wish guys had long hair also. (pulls, TUGS TUGS ) im even lucky enough to have charmaine lend me one of her clips.

stuart came out of his office. we hurried along for class. lp took my stuffs along together with my clips while i was trying to manage my untidy hair that was messed up by piggy just a few moments ago. she went to the bin to throw her biscuit wrapper in.

lp, where's my clips?

did you take them?

yeah, yeah i have.

( she even waved them to me from afar)

the next thing she did horrified me. i was scared out of my wits. shit scared. after she said she'll meet me in class, she threw her wrapper into the bin.

okay, i need my clips ( i ran towards her)

OMG. AMANDA!

what! ( i steadied myself for the shock)

i threw your clips into the bin

YOU WHAT! say that AGAIN!

i went to throw my wrapper and accidentally i threw it in also.

HEYHEY get it out!

i opened the bin cover and went scurrying through all the heaps of rubbish. banana skins, drinkcans, paper and even what nots in there. gosh, it stank. but i'll do anything for my clips.

amanda! quick come for class.

but i cant find them lp

never mind.

what never mind? i only have those three.

well, because

i have them with me ( she shows up the clips)

trust me. at this point. i ran like no ones business. it was crazy. i cant imagine reliving through all that again. it scared me really out of my wits. i cant believe she did that to me. aggh. youre a meanie lp. a real meanie. yorue going into my book of naughty kids. santa's not gonna give you anything this christmas. HAHA. bad girl.

19th september 2007
Day a hundred and fifty nine.

Money is not everything. There’s MasterCard and Visa.
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
Love thy neighbour, but don’t get caught.
Behind every successful man, there’s a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are always two.
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
The wise should never marry and when they do, they become otherwise.
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
Never put off work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in the backseats cause children.
‘Your future depends on your dreams’ so go to sleep.
There should be a better way to start the day than waking up every morning.
God made relatives. Thank God we can choose our friends.
A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
The more you learn, the more you know
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So why bother to learn?

this got me laughing so much. i think im high tonight.

18th september 2007
Day a hundred and fifty eight.

happy birthday clement! i cant remember how old you are HAHA.im slow when it comes to memory. and before i forget it again, happy birthday senior! i know youre birthday has been long gone since 9 days ago, but i remembered just that you werent online that night for me to wish you.;D dont worry youre great junior will definately treat you when she gets back. i owe you one.

i didnt like today. other than being tired from my stupid monthly 'thang' of which has yet to come, ive been overwhelmed so much by the upcoming tests the coming week. two accounts tests, one chemistry and one applicable maths. who knows? stuart and john might be even 'super nice' and throw in a couple of their subjects too. if thats the case, i doubt i'll survive or even barely scrap through the following week. i have enough of problems of my own and i dont need you to add fuel to it.

she's been on my back for hours and even days. somehow, it's been stretching on since the week before. ive kept silent about it though ive complained it to her once but i think it fell upon deaf ears. i know you have your own problems of school ( in trying to rush that economics assignment of yours) and maybe even other stuff but i dont get why im a victim of part of your problems.

you've been asking me to do too much stuff for you. i didnt mind too much since i was nearer to it then you but when it got too frequent, i felt like i was being just there for you to nag at me to make me do stuff for you. so what if you got the bed and you cant reach two steps, just two steps to turn on your switch for the battery charger or take the biscuits out of the drawer or reach your fingers slightly more to take your pencil box? i didnt mind doing all that before. but when you started to take it out on me for all your problems relating to school, i started to feel used by you in doing all those chores.

im know youre finding it stressful to cope with your studies in a whole new environment. i went through the same ordeal as you did 4 months ago. and what's worst off, i had to suffer in silence. i didnt have anyone to turn to for comfort, to complain on how bad my day has been at school, or lament about the number of upcoming tests i have or laugh with when i had funny jokes in school, you did. i didnt have anyone to ask questions on the topics i had not learn before in school, you did. i wanted to help you out but there's a limit to how much i have learnt in school.

i had a difficult first three months while i was here all alone. you didnt so much since i was there. you tried to ask me questions on your work. i tried to answer but it all ended up in futile effort. i tried, i really did but there's so much that i have learnt only in school. im doing year 12 only not univerisity. you complain over why i havent learnt certain stuffs and why they havent teached me yet in syllabus when i couldnt find an answer to your question. you thought i knew so much more then you because ive taken the subject while you were just starting. there's a limit to how much i know. i cant help you over everything.

you get moody these days and youre not the only one suffering in silence. i get it sometimes from you. you shout at me when you feel like it, when matters dont appear the way you wanted it to be. you sulk when your homework stacks up upon the table, i have my own bulk. you dislike the thought of having more assignments then me. youre taking university mind you. when you've already got two years of experience in junior college of the stress they throw at you in project work and indepent study, i had to start from scratch all alone here. if only you knew how to handle your time well, you wouldnt have to end up sulking and complaining on how much stress you have to go through.

i dont care a thing when the cousins call me a nerd because ive been at my table more often than you have been. i dont care if im being labelled a mugger for always being into my books. at least, i know im studying and doing well. at least, i know i'll be able to finish up my homework without having to complain to anyone else. you need to get your priorities right just as i had to learn the hard way.

you get moody and in turn your mood affects me a great deal. ive been silent about it. but sometimes, you just wanna scream back at you for pushing me so hard. ive got problems at school of my own, school work and my life as a whole. i know you have yours thats why i try to keep out of it so that you wont feel so watched. you get jealous at the amount of my work and my life because it's been going so well. seriously, you dont have to be. it took me some time to straighten out stuff. i came here earlier and got stucked to the tune of independence way before you learnt it. my life right now is how ive spent the last few months crafting it for the final major exams. it's time for you to get stucked to it also.

i cant help much. i cant comfort you. all i can do is to keep you smiling. i shalnt complain much. i know its hard for you. it was hard for me too. the complaints you have right now were almost similar to mine. im glad i had people to talk it out. thanks skittles for being there when i needed you. you have me too to talk it out with. i'll always be here for you to talk things out.

all the best to striving hard out of all your stress. it'll soon be over before you know it. so soon that even you would have forgotten that you ever walked this hard grainy path before. it'll be over soon, believe me.

if you just have faith in yourself, you'll accomplish much more than you can imagine than just sitting there lamenting on how your life sucks. pick yourself up today and get busy with making changes in your life. these changes might seem tough to make, it might even scare you at first beginning but think of it as a better change to your life. ive made changes in mine so should you in yours.

this aint home anymore. i know it's tough for you. it was for me but ive been through it all and im still learning so much more everyday. everyday's an obstacle but believe in HIM and HE'LL get you through all of them without you dashing your feet against the stone.

i have faith in you and i love you,
your sister.

maths assignment was hard. had i knew earlier that the questions would come out exactly the same, i would have memorised the answers knowing that at least i'll get right answer marks instead of working marks. oh wells. 10% off the assignment is a HUGE thing.
we went to the ISO for break. there wasnt much to do in a fifteen minute break so we settled for standing out in the sun and plucking the fruits off the tree in front of the ISO. we plucked about four or so after rampaging through most of the branches trying to find the most orange ones of all. most of them were up high and definately out of reach for someone my height. michelle took them for me but we decided to go further up the tree. that's where the small people like me come in. HAHA. i climbed up to where i could get a grip of one of the branches, holding them down for michelle to pluck the orange ones. HAHA.

even she is struggling with holding the branch down to pluck the orange ones. HAHA. of course i got down after a while being up there. i saw a crow beside me on the branch and screamed. thanks so much chris, but after the messenger movie we went to, im shit scared of crows now especially when they hop about crowing or whatever you call that stupid, irritating noise they make. after that close encounter up above the tree, i hobbled downwards.

16th september 2007
Day a hundred and fifty six.

a sunday again. there's a irony behind sundays. i never liked sundays because mondays came after them, the beginning of a new week at school. i never liked school here. i guess no one would even like the amount of homework and weekly tests i have to go through. not even a nerd. but yes, here you are looking at a soon-to-be nerd/mugger who's going into self studying and mugging in just weeks time. on the other hand, i like sundays. it's the only otehr day i get to go out and have some fresh air with the excuse of going to church service with my sister. the only otehr day, i take pictures and play out in the sun ( if there is) and the only other day i dont have to face my books in the morning when i wake up.

i have six days in between a sunday. six days of homework and the same routine of going to school and back home and rushing my homework at nights till late and then waking up 7 hours later for school again. saturdays are fun for me also. however, i hardly get the luxury to get out and play. the upcoming weekly tests denies me of such a break.

four more weeks till i sit for my end of years semester two exams. foure more weeks to stress out before i take those papers. and another two more weeks of crash course and a study break before i take my TEE in november. everything looks so scary. everythings going fast. way fast that if i dont pull up my shorts and hurry along, im afraid i wont be able to catch up.

people usually work nine to fives jobs. i work eight to eleven and somehow i dont get paid. HAHA. i dont even get paid leave on the weekends. as long as there is a college test ( and be sure ther's bound to be two everyweek), i have to study for it. i dont want to face my results at the end of the year and start feeling all so disappointed in myslef. i hate the feeling of disappointment.

we went out to kfc again after lunch. i have to work on those crunches of mine if i dont want to return a fat and ugly bride ( well, not bride in this case. just girl) i cant believe tom cruise said his katie was fat! AGGH. stupid men. and i still think she looks pretty even if she's fat. you made her pregnant and yorue complaining that she looks fat on her wedding day. what happened to love sees nothing except for the heart?

i made a big boo boo ( that's what david used to say when he gets his formulas wrong) while buying lunch. instead of getting the three piece, he gave me a two of which he charged me lesser and which he typed in chips instead of the meal set. three wrong servings one after another. even i went blur and went back with the wrong order. she looked at me and frowned.

i got scolded for no reason for ordering the wrong set. she made me do the maths in my head. you know i cant do maths without my calculator. i just cant. after a while of frowning while i thought hard. she got tired of me and took out her phone to get the right sums.


while waiting for the bus home. i got bored again.

she didnt want to get a snapshot by me. gosh;D i take nice pictures.

15th september 2007
Day a hundred and fifty five.

i tagged along with my sister and her friend out to the city today. i needed a break from all the workload from school. everyone else seems busy enough with their tests this week even i but i decided to play first study later. HAHA.

we went to the city only though i wanted to go to harbourfront to look at this month's and the following months season of spring clotheswear. oh wells. i settled for shopping in perth city instead. though shopping at perth city is kind of boring since you see the same chains of shops over and over again. the same brand the same outlet, the same price. i still very much prefer shopping back home in singapore.

we had our lunch only at two in the afternoon after aimlessly walking about through the alleys of the malls trying to get gifts for two of charmaine's friends. we ended up with a billabong handbag for one and a matching necklace with a pair of earrings for another.


we had lunch at carillion city's foodcourts. i shared a meal with charmaine since it was a large one at it. they said i looked older. do i really? gosh! im aging faster than i thought. this is not good.
haha;D i like this pair of earrings.