Friday, November 02, 2007 3:01 PM
2nd november 2007Day two hundred and two.
i need a moment of silence. i need to mourn for my chemistry paper. i just died during those three hours and ten minutes that i sat for the paper. it was pure torture. i finally understood why they gave that stupid rule that you can leave the examination any time after the first one hour and not after the remaining 15 minutes of the exam. that's for chickens like us to run out.
for the first time in any exam, i acted like a chicken. i wanted to run out, leave my papers on the desk and run screaming from the hall. it was crazy. only four people left early, the rest of us, we didnt have the guts to leave our papers ( half blank) and walk out of that room. i was one of them. one of the few who kept looking at the clock on the walk, couting down the time till the paper ends rather than couting the time left for working. i was desperate. i needed to get out and scream, yet i couldnt leave my desk. there were too many undone questions.
i started off with section two. first page, three blanks, nine marks. second page, i managed to get hold of my marks. third and i lost another few marks. the next few pages i attempted werent looking on the bright side for me. it was more of torture. i was dealing with questions not to score for them but to squeeze marks through tiny weeny workings. i wasnt counting the marks that i'll get, but more of the marks ive lost. somehow, the numbers kept on increasing. four marks, six then nine. the last blow was 20.
the weather was cold yet i was clearly sweating within. my brain was steaming, trying to find answers. the answers wouldnt come. the person on my sides didnt want to give it to me. my teacher wasnt there to teach, neither was my chemistry book there to search for answers. my brain wasnt any good. the answers werent there when i needed them. i left my paper three quarters blank. i cant say how the others did. i was too involved in counting the amount of marks ive lost.
i need to whine. i already did when i met charmaine at curtin. we went for lunch together at the grass on her campus. sushi and fruits. she didnt want to get too fat for the holidays and study breaks. i played along. the way back for her, i presume was torture since i was whining non-stop on how bad my chemistry paper went. i think her ears were close to bleeding since i kept swearing. HAHA. it was funny because i have never sworn so much in my entire life and just today, i swore in every sentence that came out of my mouth. i need slef control but yet i cant. im depressed. i need to mourn over the loss of my paper.
charmaine agreed along with me. we decided to pick out flowers outside the house. since they look like dead funeral flowers ( as charmaine says) the mixture of purple, yellow and blue and red. GOSH. i took a photo of myself on the bus ride back. ( other than hogging her phone for the entire bus ride because i needed to obsess myself in beating her high score. she over trimph me! dammit!) that will be the picture displayed on teh tissue box of which all my nice lil flowers lay by on the ground. we needed candles, but since it was day light, we decided to pass. the rest might think we're starting out a fire at home. mourning begins 4pm today at my room. come along if you must.
we stopped by livingston shopping mall for groceries. it wasnt much but we needed them. condensed milk and i needed to get some batteries for my calculator ( it fooled me. it was supposed to die on me but yet it didnt. anyway, i got the batteries exchanged for energiser. charmaine said she trusted that brand. the muscled battery. well i like their commercials. i rather like the bunny DURCELL? )
i wanted chips again. charmaine said no. she said i was fat enough. she said it was fatttening. so i tried chocolates. she scolded me. there was much at home. i whined.i said those dont come in pretty nice wrappers that you can bring along to school. she said you could wrap them up and bring them along. she bought like two whole big bars. OMG. she didnt want chocolates. i whined again. i settled for sweets. HA she cant say nuts. i only have one small pack of skittles and a tube of mentos not enough. HAHA. i bought gummies!
junior remember? you said. the best thing about them was that when you bite off their heads, they dont scream? haha. funny but yeah. i kinda like it. well i like the tangy taste and rubbery feeling and gosh! im not sick. i know those are made of rubbers too but hell yeahh DIFFERENT. those arent edible. oh crap. wait some are/ sheesh.
i need to treat myself to heaven. im still wallowing in pain over the loss of my paper. sweets, gummies cant help much. i already ate three quarters and got a scolding from my sister over eating so much. not my fault. i told you. dont leave me sweets, i just grab and run off. minutes later, its all gone. my mouth is itchy. *bites bites*
