Sunday, December 23, 2007 11:58 AM
everyone says christmas is for giving. i did and it landed me in great debts. this christmas has been the most expensive so far. i dont even remember having to borrow an extra 200 dollars from my mum to settle my debts. there's still so much i need to buy yet my budget and tightening my neck.
my pockets are empty/i run my fingers through them only to grab out nothing except a piece of used tissue.unless it could be counted as money if i coloured it green.for once, my wallet has been cleaned out by my reckless spending. all that's left in it are my cards ( and none of them has access to my bank account) and receipts to remind me of the stupid things i've spent on.
my sisters want things that i would consider as expensive but yet i only feel that way since i have never spent so much on one person. so this christmas, when i take it upon myself to indulge in spending on their gifts only to worry about the cost later, i find myself thinking on how sweet their reaction would be when they open up their presents.
there is'nt a christmas tree this year. the old one is still left lying on the shelf in the cupboard. there isnt much left in its life. it has been there since who knows when, we bought lights and decorations hoping christmas for it wouldnt be so boring. now this year, there isnt one anymore.
opening up presents would be awkward without a christmas tree to stuff the presents under. the wouldnt be a distinct place to gather around the tree to open up and take pictures with our presents. i hope the presents would help to draw the attention away from the missing tree in the background.
there's so much i want to do this christmas. if there are fireworks, i want to watch them with you. if there are carols by the streets of orchard, i wish to be there to listen with you. if there are dinner parties, i want you to be there with me. i want this christmas to be with you. i want every christmas to be with you. so what if you dont celebrate it? this christmas would be the first you're celebrating.
we have presents, church service, dinner parties and friends and family. we have christmas trees and lights and christmas carols and prayer sessions. we have turkey and log cakes and everything nice. we'll spend the night laughing and enjoying ourselves over wine. you have me and i have you and everyone else. would'nt that be sweet?
twelve days of christmas. we could celebrate christmas everyday on these twelve days. would me asking a present for every one of those days be too much? HAHA amanda, i wish. fine, all that i ask for this christmas is for you. well, dont think too highly on yourself. i amanda, make a lot of wishes also. yours is just one of them. HAHA.
i struck big time again. of all days, my period has to come a day early than christmas itself. the first time i ever got it was the last christmas present i ever wanted to open up but heck, it opened up by itself and the next thing i knew, i brought the present with me to the toilet. i wasnt happy about what i received. it was red unlike the green christmas tree that i have at home decorated with red lights. instead, it was a present everyone else was happy i got it. when mum knew about it, she jumped! and started telling everyone about it. when i was done unwrapping my present and got out of the toilet. i felt like a popstar, everyone else was holding their glasses of wine or cans of soft drinks to welcome the new present.
this year, was slightly different, i've had it loads of times so this time it wouldnt make me seem like a popstar. yet again, maybe i would since i have you. HAHA. oh i forgot, someone requested you to be there also. he misses you loads. you made his tail wagged the first time he saw you. he'll be jumping up along with others to welcome you. i promise you, you wont feel awkward. you have me all this while.
so to this christmas, everyone happy christmas this year!happy birthday christ the king and to all the nice little presents that are to come, the good food and the making merry. not forgetting that this christmas, i would be looking forward to spending it with you.
i love you elvin.
