Wednesday, January 30, 2008 4:07 PM
30th january 2008.Day eleventh.
happy birthday li zhen! im not such a great person when it comes to remembering the birthdays of people. i try to. but when it's just amanda, you cant help it but to forget.my apologises for my late greeting. if you have yet to remind me the day before to wish you a very happy birthday, let's just hope i dont forget the night after. although it wasnt friday the thirteen, i felt like shit the whole entire of today. morning wasnt so bad. although things took its own course and i went through a twist of unexpected turns though i kinda suspected it the night before when my mum told dad she'll speak to us.
no it's not a break up. my parents would never break apart if they do, hell know what i'll do.
i still dont get how the outbreak of news could disturb my morning bliss. i got the last bowl of fruit loops and left my sister little from the packet that she had to open another box of cocoa pops. i managed to get away when it was time to do the dishes though i ended up wiping them thereafter.
that's when it happened.
mum came into the room and told us to get ready for a one oclock appointment for viewing a house. who knew, one could turn into at least four of them.
that's what i hate about it. to heck with the promises mum. you said just one and that we'll be home early. you lied. the news leaked out. mum and dad aren't keen over the house we were all looking forward to. we once had a list all drawn up listing the houses for rent. it was over a 15 and down we're down to nothing after the judgement was passed on that house as having bad fengshui. so there's some differences when it comes to buying a house between a caucasian family and a chinese ones. the thing is the time. we take more precaution in buying one. sometimes even i dont get why we take such a stupid long time to decide
whether the flow is good, the money will flow in or what family prosperity shit.and i dont get sometimes.hows fengshui can control what we want in life.people usually say the consequences are a result of your actions. if you play truant in school, you get detention from the teacher. if you shoplift, you get the jail term. if you talk back at your parents, you get the tight slap. if so, then does a bad feng shui lead to family problems or even a fall out? you cant judge family problems on your case of fengshui if so everything that happens wrong you blame it on someone else or something. when it comes to viewing houses, others look at the location, the interior design, the facilities and amenities ( schools and shopping malls) or the amount of gardening work yet to be done. when my parents do it, the first thing they do is to take readings from a compass. they rather trust the judgement of a stupid dial than my own comments. our comments to them always appear to be shallow and narrowminded while they say they think for the best of the family. to them, amanda has no constructive comments. everything that she sees that is nice, she likes it. so that doesnt narrow anything. now that they have done it their way, look at the entire mess, or more like the void emptiness of the paper.you see. when you're not yet the age to be considered by the adults. they dont hear your no nothings. you're considered to be shallow, on the surface thinking kind of person. so whatever comments you give, it doesnt seem to hit twice at the ear drums. they listen, nod their head to show you their listening but they dont think twice.
why worry when you put yourself in the lord's hands?
if so, what's this whole thing about fengshui? the four leaf clover or what lucky charm. you actually believe them? i dont. i want to. but believing is like living in a fantasy. but life ain't always lucky to you. you'll always get the ups and downs of life and you cant always blame it on who or what comes first.
i just feel shit the whole day thinking and worrying about what the adults would worry about.
fengshui. the more i think and try to make sense of it. the more i get myself confused. im not saying believing in such things are stupid. but then if it doesnt do the trick would you go for witchcraft or other underneath crafts in finding your dream home?
i dont know. it seems to me that you have valued your house to other things at the moment. in searching for the right home,
you ignore others. you feel im distant now? but the more i think about it.
the more you distant yourself from us. the whole day, you're searching for houses
only to find a whole load you have rejected earlier being leased out to others instead of us. i dont want to lose another deal. it sucks to lose. i need to get myself a job soon. i need to pry myself away from your house hunting. it's demoralising to enter into a well furnished home, one you love from the first moment only to find out that the coordinates of your compass say another thing. fuck the stupid dial.with a job, at least i wont have to think about houses for the moment let alone the stupid compass reading.for now, find a job,earn my keep and forget about everything else. i wish life was that easy.
