Wednesday, February 06, 2008 7:46 PM
Day seventeen.
it's another day closer to getting my webcam from dad and im praying hard that he'll bring over my guitar as well.for now, mum's getting jittery in a good kind of way when we mention that dad's coming over soon. it has only been two weeks and it's killing her already without dad by her side.
this year's chinese new year seems different. reunion dinner used to be just the 5 of us. and i was hoping that this year, with grandmere staying over at our place, it'll be with her as well. all six of us squeezed at one tiny table for a meal cooked by grandmere. but now, its the eight of us. and of course, not forgetting her best dishes. gosh, i miss her sze chuan vegetables and mui choy. for this, i hate to share. whenever she does cook this, we get mini fights at the table on who gets the last scoop. i miss those fights.
instead of the proper day to have the dinner together as a family, we had it a day before because aunty irene had to work the day after. and well dinner wasnt something i looked forward to. reunion dinners at home with my family used to have crabs and all kinds of seafood. and now, when there's a plate of prawns in front of me. i cant eat. i dont want my rashes to start acting up again. either that, if not jason would just snatch any remaining prawns left there.
sometimes, even i dont get that guy. he wants everything his way and expects everyone to submit to him. well i wont. so what if he'll kick me of shout fuck at me. yes, i just said it. well, im sick and tired of him shouting abuses at all of us. everything he says has the word fuck in it. i wished i didnt pick it up from him. fuck! what's wrong with that guy? either he blows up and his bad mood just seems to affect everyone else at the table or he starts crying so he'll have his way. i cant believe anyone would snoop so low just to have his way. even if it means getting down to the last prawn. you can see his glare at the last remaining prawn left. even sharon got scared and asked me if she could take it. i told her to go ahead for it and then the war started out.
reunion was bad. i didnt expect glum faces or shouting across the table. and yet, i got all of that on this chinese new year. i guess this year wont be as smooth as i wanted. i thought those times were over when i was 17. and now, things havent started to change yet. my ill-fate. maybe i wasnt meant to have a happy ending?
waiting is hard. two days and all i got was a sms from coles ( a grocery departmental store) saying that they were recuiting staff around the area. the stupid irony is that i've already handed part of my application and yet i still couldnt get my referees as yet.
getting a job could help to relieve so much troubles and yet, there'll be more to come with it in hand. house viewing with mum ? NO MORE. staying at home all day lazing around NONE OF THAT. playing with my computer 24/7 and not getting anything out of it. for all i know, it wont be my favourite hobby already.
i guess getting job would take too much of my time so i wont have any spare for anyone else. i wont have to trouble myself with all the worrying over whether or not i'll go over the limit for the internet since i play too much onlinge games. i wont have to worry if mum's going to drag me out someday for house viewing at one. i wont have to worry about tidying myself up at home since no one would care about my attire when im out.
best of all, I WONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GETTING FAT. so mr jason lai, if you think im fat, yes i know, BUT AT LEAST IM DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. ARE YOU?
for all i know, you just sit on that bum of yours all day eating and making people do the shit work for you like pouring more water or getting you more rice on your dinner plate. no wonder you're getting fat, simple tasks and you dont move a muscle. for you, the strongest part of your body is your mouth since all you ever do is to order people around. and yes, not only is selina and me sick and tired of you, i bet charmaine does but doesnt dare to say it and sharon will in time to come.
sorry. i wasnt meant to curse. just that this chinese new year is just so fucked up because of you ruining the mood. i am still trying to adjust with spending this new year with new people i've not known since last year. my birthday last year was a complete ruin because you demanded to be served the biggest slice. now you know why you keep getting fatter?
let's just hope you dont get so full of yourself tomorrow alright? i dont wish to get nasty on chinese new year's day.
