Friday, February 08, 2008 2:31 PM
finding a job is easy but getting one is just so hard.my first letter since i arrived back here and it didnt bring news of joy. instead, it was an unacceptance offer from one of the stores i applied to. i didnt get the job. it is my deepest regret in opening up that letter with so much to hope for only to be disappointed by the result of it.
mum came in and asked curiously on who was the sender and the contents of the letter. i needed time to read it myself. i needed privacy and yet i got none. i read the first sentence and i needed to support myself on the bed. that's when mum took the letter away from my hands to read it. she knew how i was feeling just then. but all she said was 'there are many more opportunities waiting' she's right. i shouldnt dwell on the lost of the job but yet i needed more comfort from this lost. my second and still counting. i needed someone to say ' hang on amanda' but all i ever got was my mum rubbing it in. she left me in the room to cry myself.
i hate to say this but mum, the only reason why i cant find a job is due to the lack of experience needed for sales in a store. and the only way i can get that experience is if i first start off at a small store. before we reach big things, we all have to start off small. so mum, how can you expect me to go around one more time looking for a job when i have no experience in sales or customer service and all i ever get is the same response, that im rejected. i hate this whole cycle. the more i look for something i want and i dont get it, it just comes back to haunt me that im incapable.
mum. i need to start off small first. even if it means all those fastfood joints that you hate for me to work at, i need to start off with something first. if i do get a job at one. please mum, respect my decision. i know you care for all of those hard mauual work that i have to work behind in the kitchen, i know youre worries. but if i dont get a hang of the hard world. i'll never know and take things for granted. i know this is crazy but i want to have a try of the world.
please mum. all im asking is that you'll let me go. dont watch over me anymore. i need to experience the hard way in life. i dont need your protection anymore.
let me go.
