Wednesday, May 14, 2008   7:49 PM
hey guys, i am so really sorry that i hav'nt blogged in ages. i cant even remember when and on the day itself when i should have went to blog, i didnt. my 18th birthday. im cant say how surprised i have been to see your posts up on my tag blog wishing me a happy birthday, and yet i was'nt blogging, yet alone online- i was rushing for assignments on my birthday.
yes, it was sad. my 18th birthday spent on group meetings, work and buying a television. yeah i was weird. everyone's birthday present was a television bought on my birthday, dinner was mud cake and just a small celebration. it was small and yet cosy. i couldnt have imagined better with clubbing or drinking though, im hoping to do so soon when im back home in singapore.
cheers to being 18.
yet on the other side of being 18, there comes responsibility. great responsibility rested upon you by your parents for being able to support yourself. i cldnt have imagined myself in such a spot either till i got myself a job. i had the wrong mindset when i landed myself a job. i got so desperate to find myself a job, to earn a little extra pocket cash to support my shopping needs. i wldnt say my job was terrible, it's really good. i loved it just not the responsibility of supporting myself through university.
it was devastating the night when i had a quarrel with mum over what i should finance myself through. the quarrel went so bad till the point that i had to leave the conversation. it boiled down to the fact that i had to pay for everything except school fees. it was terrible. i took the whole week after that hard. my meals went from a full meal with a drink to just a drink itself. i had to budget myself to just 5 dollars a meal. a simple under 5 would be a large frozen coke which i had to survive on for the whole day till dinner at 6.
the pay was good. in two weeks, i got my pay and it was terribly good. i never felt so happy on my hardwork. yet soon enough, it was all spent on my rowing fees would amounted to 260. mum wldnt pay for that since it was a co-curricular activity which means it had no concern which school.
in other words, anything without any relationship to schooling, it comes from my pocket. i wldnt love being 18 even if i was, yet i consider myself really lucky to have accomodation and food without having to pay for any of them.
however, that night's conversation still stays embedded in my mind. ' help your dad loosen some of the pressure he has to support us now that youre working. i think you should support yourself and help your dad out'.
everyone knows im stubborn and yes i am. i cant help it when you place a dare in front of me, i bite on it like bait hooked on a fishing line. i know im a stupid fish, reeled to death but yet, i want to because of that dare you made. to this mum, i say i will support myself and soon enough i will support myself including next year's schooling fees. i will release some of the tension on dad since he'sthe only one working as for now. to my 18th birthday, this is my wish for you, that i would some day take upon the same burden my dad has upon himself to support all of us.
i will someday find myself another job during the school holiday if time permits or even work during the school examinations to support the family. to my 18th birthday, i will mum, for once be independent.
if i had to forgo shopping and clubbing and even hanging out with friends just to save up on my allowance, i would. but mum, dont ask me to forgo my sport, rowing. other than my family and friends, rowing is like part of me. i need it other than my job. i know i';ve been spending fewer times with you and my sisters but all these activities have been weighing out my time. if i didnt have to work so hard to support you guys some day, i would have stayed behind, say a few more things i should have to which i might most probably not have the chance later.
im sorry mum, i just cant concentrate on so many things at one go. studies, rowing and work. i think i might be graying sooner than i think. even my body says so. i havnt been feeling myself for the past few weeks ever since i've been dealt with fever, sore throat and flu. i havent recovered and im back to work the next day.
to my 18th birthday, i wish that i could change the world.