Thursday, May 22, 2008 10:44 PM
i have to learn now or never!i know i have caused everyone here to worry about whether i'll be home by the sunset or if i would be early for training or even arrive for work on time. i know i have asked many favours from all of you to fetch me because i was the only eighteen-year-old girl that hasnt learnt driving because she is just so full of herself that she wouldnt even bother about the petrol you've wasted on picking me up. she's just so obsessed in life; working hard to earn for her living and studying to be the best for her parents that she just wouldnt find any time to spare a thought.
im sorry guys. i know i have caused enough trouble, asking for a ride every now and then just because i didnt have transport early in the mornings. well, for once, im going to set things straight. i am going to learn driving and i should be able to pass by this year or even august if i get my exam schedule on time.
i know the cost of a car would be expensive and no doubt, i would have to pay for my own petrol bills, car maintenance fees and even the car. well, mum already stated it clearly, i have to pay everything that is not related to school. rowing likewise came from my own pocket, my first paycheck and it felt really bad. likewise for a car, it'll come from my own pocket, i wont say how much i have with me now, but it should be enough to buy a 1998 car with a few savings leftover to sustain the rising petrol costs.
i was reluctant driving at first, the fees and costs of examinations and driving lessons. i cant even afford rowing now, what more driving and even more so the petrol costs to keep up with? im no superwoman. i have a life and that is to study hard so as to earn a better income in the future, not pushing myself so hard like some buffalo on the plough fields with small returns so that i could sustain my hunger just a little more so before dinner is due.
my life is going to change and i am aware of it. i know i would have to work double jobs if i needed the extra cash to help me keep with with my bills. im a adult now. an eighteen-year-old and mum holds me in high regard to support myself. i know i can do it but at the expense of my studies?
i dont know how much longer i can keep up with this. im losing my momentum in life. the clock would eventually stop ticking when the batteries run out and so would i.
one day, i would just be a hopeless, just-for-nothing that i had achieved to be.
a nobody.
