Wednesday, June 25, 2008 10:03 PM
dear elvin,this would most probably be the second last letter i'll be writing to you. the reason i've decided to post this one on my blog is because, if you rather i break the news to your parents, then let my post explain it. the other reason im doing so, is to testify to all those out there, that a long distance r/s is hard to mantain.
it's about time we took this break. ever since that day on friday, when you spoke of it, i havent really gotten myself around to accepting the matter. i thought a week would do you fine- when your mind is off the exams, so i waited for you that one week. i waited till yesterday.
every alternate day we would have online conversations, most of them leading to a big argument, even if it was insignificant to our broken r/s. every morning after that disturbing night would i cry to myself on why things had to take a turn and why we couldnt just let us go.
i cried today on the bus ride home. i cried because i have never felt so hopeless for once, in not being able to save this r/s. i know the fact that im overseas makes it hard for you to talk things out with me, but imagine, what if i was home- i doubt matters would get any better than it is.
elvin, your stubborness is in conflict with mine and i have lost my patience in trying to talk you out of things. i dont want to make the same mistake in believing that in waiting for you, this r/s would become of any better, because we both know that i'll be in for another breakup soon after.
if it is this you want, my happiness at stake, then we'll make things clear once and for all- this is why all conversations between you and i have to stop. it'll help the both of us get over this hurdle. one thing that i can never get is why youre still pulling me back- these conversations that remind the both of us about the past, the happiness that we both lost that faithful day.
elvin, please i beg you. let me go. i cant do this alone. all im asking from you is one more favour, please...help me let you go. help me stop these conversations and smses that just serves to stir up bitter feelings and painful lost memories. help me give you up and face a new phrase of life, one without you in it.
since the breakup, not once have i broken down so badly, feeling like the heavens had abandoned me, so shouldnt you. you should not grieve over what was lost but look forward to what comes forth in life. forget me elvin, forget what we had- all that we had were the memories that should be erased and forgotton. forget us.
i'll be strong for my family and friends. i'll be strong for my sisters and parents, so should you. take a day or two, recover and stand up on your two feet. i know you can do it and i have faith in you. i have the faith that you wont need to worry your parents because your old enough to handle your own matters. i have the faith, that you'll carry on in life.
do this for me. for us, carry on in life without me. without us. just like you were from the start before we met, so would you be now that you have. go on and take the path set forth- like everyone else, you have a bright future ahead of you and you'll achieve great things to come.
good luck my friend,
love,
amanda.
