Saturday, June 14, 2008 12:03 AM
it'll all be over soon, the exams. somewhere it has to end, the line doesnt go on forever and it just stops somewhere. everything that starts off somewhere has to stop and it stops the very day on monday when my last exam finishes. life loves makes a whole big joke out of you when you a whole lot of problems to deal with and it comes so at an opportunity when one problem has left you.
the breakup couldnt find itself a much better opportunity than this, where having to deal with it just before exams was a nightmare. i know everyone hates the forecoming of exams but i was rather relieved when it came- at least it directed some of the pressure towards studying hard. i havent thought about the breakup ever since friday. to this date, its a week since then and im coping good, just not yesterday.
i couldnt sleep well, having thought about the real consequences about such a move, about why it has to happen at such a point in our r/s or even why everything has to be given up because of theman reason to which this r/s was build upon.
on that very day, friday the 7th, my heart broke for the very first time. that very day, life decided to teach me a lesson, for all the r/s i have been trying to run from and for all the r/s i havent felt anything for another and of which, i've broke many hearts, i tasted how bitter it was to be dumped. i tasted the how hope feels when everything's been lost, when everything you had worked so hard for just crumbles in front of you by the person you trusted the most. i tasted distrust and the bitterness of anger.
on that day, everything felt like a nightmare. a real one, where life just makes a mockery out of you and leaves you in the sight of the whole world to deal with it. there comes a point in time where you have to deal with your problems, where running wouldnt be an option anymore, where all i've ever knew was to run when i got scared, but even for now, i couldnt run and hide from my problems because i'll be running into it. i couldnt run up to the very guy, that i tell all my secrets to, that i share part of my life with when all the problems that im dealing with now are part of this r/s.
once after exams are over. i am toasted because for the very fact, i wouldnt have anything to hide to. i do know that even if i were to take a second job, it wouldnt solve the problems that i have because eventually, i would stop running, because eventually, i would have no where else to hide, because eventually, i know that i have to face up to what happened, deal with it, forget it and move on.
here is a toast to all the people out there who have just went through bad times, for the people who have problems that they are running from, for those out there who have lost someone whom they have love to sickness and death or even from r/s and for those people who are strong to take the next step in life, the courage to face up to their problems and those who forget those mishappenings, life would move on, for you and for all those around you.
and i say, that for all those people, i admire you. i admire the will and the strength that you have in taking the next step, for trusting in what life brings forth and for learning to forgive.
you are an inspiration to what i see in life.
thank you.
