Sunday, July 13, 2008 1:01 PM
sickness took me by the hand when no one else would.that morning was different. i felt really tired. my mind refused to wake up when the clock rang at 5.40am and decided to take a short snooze. time went by and i was oblivious to how much i slept in when i woke up and saw new time, 6.23am. it was a nightmare. mentally, i knew that i had to rush for things as galatee would be waiting outside my house at 6.40am. with only 20 minutes to spare, i couldnt think of anyhing else but to jump out of bed.
breakfast was packed, four slices of bread without any spread. it tasted raw, which added onto the long list of why i sldnt to going for training. the day wasnt starting out great for me. the past few nights have been late, playing online games to pass on the time. yesterday, my body took the toll for everything, the late nights and overactive life that i lead- i came down with a throbbing headache and a dry throat.
the unexpected rain during training only made things worse.my body couldnt cope with the slight drizzle and so i developed a slight fever, only to have made it worse from the long day of work. i've been stubborn, but never been this stubborn. i knew i was falling ill, my body was feeling weak by the moment and yet, i persisted.
i ended work late, having been scehduled for close. no one in subway knew i was succumbing to sickness. no one could tell because, everything seem normal to them. linus was very nice. not only had he cleaned the display cabinet, he took it upon himself to sweep and mop the floors. i was only left with the minor cleaning such as polishing the windows and degreasing the microwave and toaster.
the only time when i had totally no strength to fight against my illness was the bus ride home.
there wasnt any buses till an hour and a half later. i cldnt wait out in the cold for the bus to take me home. my body was already shivering from the cold air and a fever had developed within 15 minutes of waiting. it wasnt like the usual cold days where my body was generating heat to keep myself warm. this was different. i felt different and the heat was undeniable a fever.
i took the risk and walked at least 200m in the cold winds to the other bus stops where more buses could be alighted from. if there wasnt going to be a direct bus to home, it wouldnt hurt to take two buses home, if the waiting time was shorter. i was right. instead of arriving home at 8pm, i was home 45 minutes earlier. it did save me on the waiting time for one bus, but i didnt help on having to wait 40 minutes on the last of the two buses at thornlie train station, with fumes of smoke in the air by passerbys and their cigarettes.
the cold was unbearable, the pain immense.there were times where i blacked out or saw grey spots when my body couldnt generate enough heat to shield against the deeping temperatures. the bus ride took longer than expected.
when i finally made my way to the front porch, i was already in the state of collasping on the brick tiles. i fumbled for the keys in my bag but came out empty handed. i knocked on the door a couple of times, awaiting for a response but got none in the next few minutes. i knocked again, this time, the knocks getting softer and slower in time. i thought i heard a shout from inside the house. i waited for the next couple of minutes in agony where my arms gave way to the weight of the bags and newspapers. this was going to be the last. the next few knocks on the door were harder and slower between each interval. the door knob clicked from the inside after a few knocks and realisation hit hard. i was going down.
the last thing i saw was charmaine at the doorway before i blacked out hitting hard on the door posts. she was as shocked as i was when i stumbled back up from the fall, the bags and newspapers on the floor. the next thing i knew when she was picking up the things from the floor, was that i ran as fast as i could to the bathroom.
i had no appetite for dinner, but the panadol that i had to eat required that i had something to eat before medication was taken. i was so cold that i had to bath in steaming hot water admist the fever that i had. besides wearing a shirt underneath a pullover, i had to wear on a winter jacket and a scarf to sleep, sunggled under a winter blanket and the heater turned on 24/7 for me
i slept at 8 and woke up at 12 for another dosage of panadol with 4 hours in between as instructed. the next i woke up was at 8 for a sore throat medication, 8 hours apart from each dose. i slept for one and 1/3 of a day. i slept in for 16 hours straight, apart from waking up to take medication, and skipped mass today. i have been a bad girl, missing out on the extra sleep that i needed, skipping out on training and mass this morning and not drinking enough water.
i hope i'll be up and well on tuesday. i have commitments to carry out and a weekly schedule to follow. i have work in the morning and training in the late afternoon and i cant afford to miss either of this. the competion is in a week's time and we havent got much time to prepare for training.
oh god, please let me be well.
i promise you, i wont eat any candy for this week,
that i'll be a good girl and attend mass next week
and be prepared for school in the following weeks.
