Wednesday, September 24, 2008   11:57 PM
next time we'll buy a dress instead.oh the hassle of having to shop differently if you're wearing a two piece. my mistake. although, yeah i did spend a little lesser in total for both items than compared to a dress. but think opportunity cost, i didnt take economics for nothing;D unless, you argue that a 40 dollar difference is going to get you somewhere in life. ha ha, then i'll raise the flag.
i had to drag chris out on both occassions to shop for either piece separately. it was already so 'easy' to find a top that looked good enough to complement the occasion that's going to be on friday, let alone a bottom. hell 'easy'. i think i fear shopping now.
i guess his job wasnt easier at all. he had to accompany me throughout all of the shops we went, and always ending up at the same old shop and watch me change outfits every minute of so, while trying so hard to give constructive comments. i guess he was trying very hard although his answers hardly often left his lips. it was in the face. a screwed up one and your outfit would be a straight no. i assume a blank face would signify average and the expression of a kid whose eyes light up at the sight of candies, that's the one.
im just so thankful he was there. ha ha, i cant choose for nuts. we had fun on the way through shops, picking out the worse kind of dresses imaginable, frills, laces, big oversized buttons you name it, we found all of them. haha, chris has more to learn in trying to differentiate a skirt from a tube top. ha ha and me, on how to wear my outfit right without having to struggle through a small opening when man has invented a zip to help only the smart ones who figure it out.
im happy to say, two wednesdays we've spent searching for the one and we have found it. i'll take pictures along with the ones at metros for cocktail night. i managed to keep it under a hundred ;D, the remaining of whatever i get to keep for acccessories. not to mention, this time round, we werent late for management 100 tutorial but for group meeting that we scheduled before class. poor emma, was all alone when we got there.
ps: chris says black is a kinky colour when girls wear it.
i cant wait this friday.
  11:39 PM
You're one hell of a popular bitch.ernst called in the late afternoon, to inquire if i had anymore tickets to sell for the upcoming asian cocktail event. seriously, i didnt even think they'll be any left over for him. no one calls in desperate two days before the event begging for tickets, i dont make the world go round, let alone would tickets appear in my hands.
it was chaotic. for that moment there, after he called, i knew i had to make calls to people i thought could very well have tickets left. ha ha, i so badly wanted him to go and i needed to get tickets out from thin air. the reason for his change of decisions: his girlfriend cancelled her church retreat and thus, so he could go. . . abusive; haha. he declined previously because he felt morally wrong to club while his girlfriend was in a church retreat and i thought i was the good girl. in other words, he's going because she is. bummer.
i managed to find those two tickets within a four hour span. it wasnt easy and david helped me quite a bit. previously, when i called him for any leftover tickets, he left me with a sad note. both universities had sold out all tickets to this alcoholic event. leftover tickets were sold to the general public this morning at northbridge area and everyone's sold their leftover tickets, earning slightly more than a little on commission.ha ha. ernst's only way out? buying door tickets that would cost him a bomb for two, not to mention the uncertainty of availibility of tickets.
while david called on committee members who might have tickets left reserved for close friends, i made my own calls. at about eight, we had good news. david called to say he found a friend who's willing to part with three tickets given that i pay immediately at a price of 5o for both. reasonable for late tickets.
ernst, now you owe me 50 and a present to go with the trouble.
calling me miss popular doesnt work on me.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008   5:52 PM
this is why i hate tele-marketers on the phone.you cant blame me,my chinese skills havent been fluent even throughout high school years. although i can still understand basic chinese, i doubt i even remember how to write some of them. especially since speaking in chinese isnt my forte at all, i've not spoken it in ages. one, two years?? maybe.
you can imagine the situation at hand when i received a phone call, a chinese one, with a chinese tele-markter on the other side who constantly persists the questions, hello, ni hao (how are you?). . . you have got to be kidding me. next thing i knew, i rushed into my room where mum was inside doing her daily breathing exercises, holding the phone outstretched in my left hand, frantically trying to pass the phone on.
-_-'' she didnt take it at all.
'what am i supposed to say? she keeps saying hi, ni hao and this already is my second greeting. '
'just tell her you dont speak chinese.' mum shrugged me off.
'but then, i am chinese, my accent might give away'
(there was a long pause on the line)
'then say that you dont understand what she's trying to say, sorry and quickly put down the phone.'
'why cant you answer the phone call then?'
'cant you see im busy, besides, its fast, you'll do fine.'
(i think we must have talked between ourselves for so long she thought i had given it to someone else to receive the call)
i picked up the phone again.
'hello?'
'hi, ni hao (how are you?)
. . .okay we've been there, done that. can we change the subject other than ni hao? i understand that.
'hi, im sorry but i dont understand chinese'
'oh, you dont understand zhong wen (chinese)?
'no, wo bu dong (i dont understand)'
SHIT.
.
.
.
.
sensing my mistake, i slamed the phone down. oh god, the embarrassment to be a chinese.
immediately after that, mum started to choke and broke down into laughter. (apparently, she was breathing in when i my slip happened.)
'why did you say that!' ha ha, you must have left her wondering why you said chinese when you said you didnt understand the language at all. ha ha'
concidentally, through the walls to the adjacent room, charmaine started to break down as well.
i was made the joke of the day.
and no one seemed to forget that incident. . .
red...
stop laughing at me!!!(pulls the blanket over my head)
Saturday, September 13, 2008   11:31 PM
rowing sprints.we only raced in a quad. i didnt race in a double this time round because of the bug i had caught. there just wasnt enough time to train with a new partner and while jo had got her back sprained, thus not being able to coach us in a speedboat, mum wouldnt let me out training hard.
everything went bad before out race. we were assigned to a boat that we hadnt trained in before. it's like running in new trainers just before your race started, no warm ups, in this case however. we had to drop the idea of rowing in 'the flynn', a new boat as well though sharon says its somewhat the same as the 'ilikai' tha we use to r(ow in) as the feet arrangement just out of sorts. both the 3 and 2 feet arrangements had problems and there just wasnt enough time to get them fixed.
we had to borrow another boat from the club where we had borrowed the 'flynn'. the 'chancey' wasnt in such a poor state as the other one though it was a boat we had never rowed in before. it was only 500m but it was one that was so hard to row in. not only were the oar handles smaller in diameter, that were hard to twist without losing grip, the boat's interior was something we had to learn to adjust on the spot.
we started on time, as i promised carol we would this time (since the last 2 we missed), though we were called back to the start line after a head-on collision had happened to two boats in our race. we had a 2nd start, and everyone were worn out having to row back to the start, adjust and start all over again.
it was the hardest race ever and one i thought i was close to a blackout. two weeks of recovery had done me in. i havent trained hard since the last race 3 weeks ago and this race had affirm the fact that i cant just force my body into racing hard without having regular training sessions.
i was necked at the 350m mark. i went out of timing. jo claimed i had rowed too fast and my strokes were short, causing us to slow down, though the cox didnt say anything about it. we came in last though we were against the senior boats. everyone's in question as to why the curtin seniors were in our race. they got first as expected- though it wasnt really a fair race to begin with.
im disappointed really, in my performance today. it wasnt the best to begin with but it didnt have to suck so bad. i went home wet and worn out after all the unloading of boats into the shed at the end of the day. things didnt work out so great even after all the rowing.
mum was annoyed over the fact i brought back a bag full of sand. i guess i wasnt in any mood to answer her question on how my race went. it didnt go well afterall and mum's angered over the fact i mentioned my ex. there's way too much to deal today.
im not ready for this/
  10:28 PM
for the better of both, i've quit Subway.i've handed up my resignation letter to Subway. it wasnt at all easy choosing between the both but, it was a decision i knew i had to make soon before war break outs. i've been the reason why both sides are mad at me, and it was a mess i had to clean up.
i had struggled to fit in with the new while trying so hard to shed off the old.i've made promises that i had to break from which tension grew between relationships. often at times, i guess family was all i had to trust.
the transition into Subway was relatively easy, i got the hang of things within the first few weeks, and that was before i discovered the downside to things. i've had to stand a boss who has mood swings that comes just like that and i wasnt so lucky myself to be caught in between one of her bad days. i got home that day and got scolded by mum for crying my heart out.
i havent really been myself while working at Subway. i did make great friends- many of which i found really easy to relate my trouble of being caught up between both sides. but i couldnt be myself during those shifts, i felt moody often- like the sun didnt rise that day. i felt like a patient,
strapped up and restrained, except no one was holding me back but me.
i took the blow hard. i didnt smile, or laugh or jump around like i use to do, i stopped working fast. i stopped taking energy drinks because i didnt need the energy to. i felt dead at times, no one knew what was wrong with me, and yet everyone was especially concerned for my state.
but what were they to do?i dont even have the freedom to be myself without having to face the music in the back kitchen. it was a dual personality i couldnt cope with. i couldnt change for who she wanted me to be. i've tried to make changes, changes she wasnt satisfied with. i guess
i havent tried hard enough then to please her. she still couldnt really accept the person i was inside. till today, there was always that little bit of tension between the both of us, and i was always at the losing end. i couldnt, she was my boss and even if it was something really nasty she said, i had to stomach it in for now.
that friday was the hardest. i had to make a decision. the tension riding up withing both stores wasnt going to ease unless i make that decision. i had to quit one. which was my problem. i spent the last two days working out with mum over the job i should give up. i wrote a letter, and like the rest of the notes, i couldnt pass it personally to her. 18, and im scared of her, terrified to say the least, but i doubt my emotional state could take any more downfalls.
im glad i took that step, though i've not faced up to the consequences of my decision.
however, i truly believe,
things are going to change for the better,
someday.and someday, i know i'll be happier
and on that day, the
sun will shine once again
Thursday, September 04, 2008   9:52 PM
recovery's on it's way.i spent the whole of this week recovering since last thursday. the recovery was good though. the cough mixture was disgusting and i still have to take it twice a day. no one got sick other than may. dad's got the sore throat back in singapore and mum says i sent my sickness by fedex. he's recovering well over the last two days.
i did my online BIS test on tuesday afternoon with mum:D while i was rummaging through my book, flipping pages at a delirious speed looking for the answers, mum was frantically surfing the net for any answers in general. the questions were hard, and it took us quite some time, at least till no. 17/30 to realise that most of them came from 2 distinct chapters.
what was hard was i read them 2 days ago, only to completely forget them when i needed so. 30q's in 25 minutes was hard when i had to juggle the questions with an intolertable headache. i had cold sweat. i went over by 10sec, as i had problems saving and submitting my test results in. the score was graded, 12.5/15, but i was still panicking.
the results that came back required grading. then,it suddenly strucked me that i could have a 0 mark instead. this was forwarned to every student that took the test, that if they were to overexceed the 25 limit, a penalty of O would be issued. you can imagine, i leaped right out of the chair, went to the other room, and quickly wrote an email, hoping i wld be granted exclusion of that rule because of the situation.
2 days later, i had no reply, i sent another email to another person and i got a reply yesterday. great news for the panic i've been through. i've been fix:D and the result stays, no having to redo the test. thank god.
the week has been boring. i've been taking naps in the afternoon, and not being able to sleep much at night. lunch and dinner has all been pretty bland. no sugar to enlight my tastebuds this week. no chocolates or fried food. i've been left out at all the temptation. sadly, mum only said i could have all of them next week on.
oh how i wish time cld fly;D