Saturday, September 13, 2008 10:28 PM
for the better of both, i've quit Subway.i've handed up my resignation letter to Subway. it wasnt at all easy choosing between the both but, it was a decision i knew i had to make soon before war break outs. i've been the reason why both sides are mad at me, and it was a mess i had to clean up.
i had struggled to fit in with the new while trying so hard to shed off the old.i've made promises that i had to break from which tension grew between relationships. often at times, i guess family was all i had to trust.
the transition into Subway was relatively easy, i got the hang of things within the first few weeks, and that was before i discovered the downside to things. i've had to stand a boss who has mood swings that comes just like that and i wasnt so lucky myself to be caught in between one of her bad days. i got home that day and got scolded by mum for crying my heart out.
i havent really been myself while working at Subway. i did make great friends- many of which i found really easy to relate my trouble of being caught up between both sides. but i couldnt be myself during those shifts, i felt moody often- like the sun didnt rise that day. i felt like a patient,
strapped up and restrained, except no one was holding me back but me.
i took the blow hard. i didnt smile, or laugh or jump around like i use to do, i stopped working fast. i stopped taking energy drinks because i didnt need the energy to. i felt dead at times, no one knew what was wrong with me, and yet everyone was especially concerned for my state.
but what were they to do?i dont even have the freedom to be myself without having to face the music in the back kitchen. it was a dual personality i couldnt cope with. i couldnt change for who she wanted me to be. i've tried to make changes, changes she wasnt satisfied with. i guess
i havent tried hard enough then to please her. she still couldnt really accept the person i was inside. till today, there was always that little bit of tension between the both of us, and i was always at the losing end. i couldnt, she was my boss and even if it was something really nasty she said, i had to stomach it in for now.
that friday was the hardest. i had to make a decision. the tension riding up withing both stores wasnt going to ease unless i make that decision. i had to quit one. which was my problem. i spent the last two days working out with mum over the job i should give up. i wrote a letter, and like the rest of the notes, i couldnt pass it personally to her. 18, and im scared of her, terrified to say the least, but i doubt my emotional state could take any more downfalls.
im glad i took that step, though i've not faced up to the consequences of my decision.
however, i truly believe,
things are going to change for the better,
someday.and someday, i know i'll be happier
and on that day, the
sun will shine once again
